Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #78

Thursday Thirteen: For The Birds

1. A friend of mine had extra beer left over from a party and gave them to me. I don't usually like Bud and Bud Light, but it's free! I put them on the back porch to stay cold. Lately I was worried that they may explode in the cold temperatures. I was afraid to even check, and I've been out of beer for a while. But I got desperate and checked, and YEAH! they did not explode. The cans of beer, however, do have sawdust all over them from being too close to the circular saw.

2. With the temperatures in the teens and single digits, we've been letting the dog in at night. Contrary to what most people may think of Bandit, he's pretty good inside the house. I can get him to lay down on the floor near the kids and he'll stay there all night.

3. My 7-year-old son is getting pretty good with the computer. I let him have my old iMac (older than him!) and he knows how to use it. In fact, right now, he has iTunes playing my 3-year-old's personal playlist so that she'll leave him alone long enough to do his homework.

4. My 3-year-old daughter's iTunes playlist is actually pretty good. She really likes Devo, especially Whip It and Working In A Coalmine. I've been playing Radiohead for her, and she really enjoys it. She whips her long blond hair around like a heavy-metal guitarist. Actually, I think she'll play drums.

5. I've been watching a friend's two kids while she teaches at the university. Her husband also teaches there, as does my husband. I feel like the housewife for three professors.

6. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, finally. I was inspired by Colleen who said "Overnight my hair reaches critical mass and I can’t go another day without a haircut."

7. I'm also going to get my hair highlighted. So now I have thoughts of having hair like Kelly Clarkson or Penolope Cruz. Actually, the only reason I'm having highlights is to hide the grey.

8. I've been daydreaming about what I'd do with the money I get from the economic stimulus package--it reminds me of dreaming of winning the lottery. Actually, the money is already spent and would be used to pay outstanding bills. I'm still holding out for winning the lottery, if only I had enough money to play.

9. I just found an old friend on MySpace. He owns a parrot that I used to "birdsit" occasionally. I don't know if I missed him or the bird more! Sorry, Andy, I don't mean it. I really miss your gigantic hugs more than bird poop on my shoulder. Say "Hello" to Crackers for me!

10. My daughter turned 3 last Wednesday, but she's been celebrating for a week. Every night I have to read Dr. Seus' Happy Birthday To You, she's still playing with her Happy Birthday mylar balloon, and wishes everyone a Happy Birthday. Why not?

11. My son just wrote the sentence "I am straighter then you." When I checked his writing, I had to laugh. He thought the word was "stronger." So he changed the word "am" to "stand." Much better!

12. My husband's car door froze shut when I was starting the car for him. So I managed to climb into the back and open the door from the inside. When he was trying to leave, the door wouldn't shut. He yelled at me for opening the door from the inside. I guess, in his fury, he forgot that sometimes you need to get OUT of the car. I quickly fixed the latch and all was better.

13. Someday I'm going to compile a list of phrases that you may only say once in your life. For example, "I hate it when the kids break the abacus!"

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #77

13 Reasons Why My Thursday Thirteen Is Late

1. Wednesday was my daughter's third birthday. We partied all day and the kids were still wound up in the evening.

2. I let my son stay up a little later Wednesday night because we were doing his "French for Kids" lessons--listening to a CD and doing worksheets. We can count to 10 in French now!

3. Wednesday night I went to bed with the kids and fell asleep. Therefore I was not able (or willing) to get up in the middle of the night and do my Thursday Thirteen. A lot of my TT writings are done around 3 am.

4. When I did wake up in the middle of the night, I was too cold. All I could do was change into my warm pajamas and get back under the warm covers.

5. With Monday being a holiday, I forgot that Thursday was Thursday.

6. My husband was scheduled for minor surgery Thursday morning. I was getting prepared for a rushed morning.

7. Thursday morning was rushed and very snowy. We decided, after starting down the road, to drop my son and daughter at the sitters and forget about school. I thought it would be cancelled anyway because of the snow.

8. I had to ship out some eBay stuff and had to stop at the post office before going to the surgery.

9. We got to the Same-Day Surgery center at 10 am--just as we were supposed to, even though the roads were snowy.

10. The doctor was running late. We had to wait until after 2 for his surgery. (FYI: He's fine, it was a routine procedure--but you know how sometimes men can be big babies!)

11. During the 4+ hour wait, I managed to crochet a small hat.

12. The drug store's computer was down, so I had to wait for my husband's medications.

13. I didn't get home to my computer until about 7 pm Thursday night. So here I am! Finally!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Mein Hund Ist Krank

Bandit is an outdoor dog. He's only allowed in the house to help clean up food spills or when it's dangerously cold outside.

One day when I was gone and my husband and son were left at home, my son let Bandit into the house. But not only was he allowed into my bedroom, the beast was allowed to lay on my bed. A definite No No.

According to my sons testimony, my son and the dog were relaxing on the bed when, out of the blue, the dog vomited on my side of the bed. My son tried to clean it up, but had to enlist the help of his father. His father instructed him to use a magazine to scoop the sick into a bag. Then clean the area with a wet towel. He did a good job and I might not have known, but my son had to tell me about the incident when I got home.

Luckily, I was at the laundrymat and had just washed bedding and was planning to change the sheets anyway. Just for good measure, I also flipped the mattress.

Just for fun, I had my husband translate the phrase "My dog is sick," into German: "Mein Hund ist krank."

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #76

13 Things You May Find Yourself Saying in the Future

1. Dang! I tore my iPod in half.

2. I'm going to Wal-Mart for sex-change surgery, again.

3. There's a UFO delay on the east-bound highway. The craft has the left lane blocked.

4. After the light, go past 5 Starbucks and turn right at the Super Starbucks.

5. Boy does this laptop cut hurt!

6. Laser me off a slice of that cow-goat hybrid.

7. Sex in zero gravity is too difficult. I wouldn't recommend a honeymoon on the moon.

8. I just uploaded to this new body and I'm still getting used to it.

9. We're having the Smiths over tonight. They're Martians, so try to make them feel welcome.

10. Life begins at 70.

11. My next clone is going to have red hair instead.

12 That was really good steak. See if you can get the Chef to give us a DNA sample.

13. I hear and obey your command evil, sentient super monkey Overlord.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #75

The "Bodies" exhibit is coming to my area next month and I'm excited. The exhibit, controversial because of how they obtained the bodies and how they display the bodies, is a great way to actually see inside the body, including organs, the skeletal, muscular, and vascular systems as they really are.

But I'd like to have an exhibit that's even more controversial and probably will outrage even more people then the Bodies exhibit: Critters, featuring the bodies of animals posed like you've never seen them before!

13 Items in my Critters Exhibit

1. The muscular system of a cat, ready to pounce on the muscular system of a mouse.

2. The internal organs of a raccoon reaching into a garbage can.

3. The vascular system of a monkey wearing a fez, leached to a rolling calliope and posed in mid-dance. The calliope must play music.

4. The muscular system of a turkey, sitting on a platter at a Thanksgiving dinner. (Actually, this may just look like dinner, but actually, the turkey would not be cooked.) Leave the head on with an expression of surprise.

5. The skeletal system of a snake which had just eaten the skeletal system of a mole.

6. The vascular systems of horses running a race.

7. The internal organs of a pig rolling in the mud.

8. Show the internal organs of a doe lovingly nudging a newborn fawn.

9. My exhibit must include a nice display of the very delicate skeletal systems of various birds eating at a bird feeder. Perhaps include it inside an aviary with real-live birds!

10, Include, in the above exhibit, the muscular system of a squirrel trying to steal birdseed.

11. The vascular system of a bat, hanging upside down.

12. Recreate, by using just the muscular system, the inspirational poster of the kitten hanging on to a rope with the saying "Hang In There!".

13. The central piece of the exhibit (and perhaps most controversial) will feature the various systems of the body and would recreate the famous painting of dogs sitting around a table playing cards.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Freecycle? Unnecessary in Creekisan!

Perhaps you've heard of Freecycle. It's an organization/website where you can list items you no longer need but hate to throw away. Obviously this works the other way: If you're looking for an item, if you don't mind something used, you may find it listed on Freecycle in your area.

In Creekistan, all you have to do is put it near the road with a "Free" sign on it. It'll get picked up within an hour. I'm not kidding! When we were cleaning out the yard of junk, we found a truck cap, emptied it out of items and blue-tailed skinks and put it near the road with a large "FREE" sign. Within the hour, someone stopped and put it in their truck.

Today, I tested it again. We put out the "dogloo" igloo-style dog house that the Beast-in-Residence does not seem to like. It was exactly 4:00 pm. At 4:40, someone stopped and wanted to confirm that it really was free. Yep! They came back 10 minutes later with a bigger car and somehow got the thing into the back seat.

In a small way, we're doing our part to help reduce/reuse/recycle things. But quite possibly, we're just adding to the junk-filled yards of our neighbors. I just hope a dog really does end up calling the old dogloo "home."

Sunday, January 06, 2008

The Bluegrass Roots are Showing

When I first looked at the house we are now living in, it was strewn with junk everywhere. The house had been abandoned for a couple of years, and we suspect that local youth had used it for parties. Whoever lived here left a lot of stuff and even some furniture. One of the items was an award something like, "Bob Evans Farm Guitar" award. It was a plaque.

I heard, from the old couple that sometimes deliver water for us, one of the guys that used to live here played Bluegrass. I know his name (which I won't reveal here) because I get some of his mail. Yesterday, I got some of his mail--a tax document from Nashville.

Seems Mr. Bluegrass, formerly from Creekistan, is a Grammy-award winning Bluegrass guitar player!

I'll send the tax document where I've written: "Return to Sender - Address Unknown."

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Resolutions Review for 2007

Here are the resolutions I made for 2007 and a brief follow up of how I did:

Eat less junk food. I guess I’ll try to bring food into work so that I am less tempted to go out and grab something. | Well, I did pretty good with this since I no longer have a job and stay home, miles away from the nearest fast food restaurant.
Read more. Okay, perhaps I should say that in the last year, I haven’t read at all! The occasional book-on-tape is how I’ve been surviving. But I do hope that the 7th and last Harry Potter book comes out this year. | Reading is something that eludes me. No, I didn't get to read more in 2007. The Harry Potter book is the only book I recall actually reading from cover to cover.
Potty train my daughter. No more diapers! | Yeah, Baby! Except for the night, we are diaper free!
Find a babysitter. This way, I can do resolution #6. | I did find someone who can watch the kids! Yeah!
Plant and take care of a bigger and better garden. Perhaps I’ll even have corn this year! | Bigger, yes. Better, not really. But I have my seed catalogs for this year and I have a tiller, so we'll see!
Finish the kitchen. This will involve painting and putting up a backspash around the stove and sink. It’s not a huge project, but it will disturb things for a while. | Not at all.
Have more parties at home. We enjoy entertaining. Why not invite more people to come by? Okay, so the house isn’t done and the living room still has pieces of old wallpaper hanging down from the wall. But the floor is down and there’s plenty of room to dance! | We did entertain more, especially around Christmas and New Year. And we've had more people just stop by!
Blog more often. Sometimes I think if it wasn’t for Thursday 13, my blog would be empty. | Not really.
Take more pictures. With a digital camera, there is no excuse for not taking pictures. I’ll need a big memory card, but that shouldn’t be too difficult. | Yes! But my camera won't work with a memory card, so I have to upload often.
Enter something into the county fair. I don’t know what, yet. But I could try entering a piece of artwork or a photo, or even a pie. | Yes! I have two blue ribbons to prove it! Next year, I'll enter even more!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #74

Thursday Thirteen Header Graphic - Christmas

13 Items from Fiction That I Would Like for Christmas

1. There is a lot from the Harry Potter books that I would like, so I'm only going to limit myself to a few. The first item I would like is my own House Elf. Just think how much help it would be with the cooking and cleaning!

2. From "Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles," I would like the Jolly Boat. This beautiful boat is powered by laughter and comes with a special "fountain" that will make whatever ice cream treat you want.

3. How about a seasons pass to visit Willie Wanka's Chocolate Factory whenever I want?

4. The flying car that Harry and Ron borrowed from Ron's dad and flew to Hogwarts? But I'd want it before it became feral in the Forbidden Forest.

5. I would like to get Bilbo's sword, Sting. I'm sure the fact that it glows when orcs are nearby would come in handy here in Creekistan.

6. From Star Trek, I'd love to get a Replicator. Be handy in the kitchen: "Cafe Mocha, please!"

7. Also from Star Trek, a Transporter. Would be great to get everyone to school on time, and it would save on gas and wear and tear on the flying car.

8. An Ewok. They're just cute and they would love living here in the forest.

9. The Time Machine from H.G. Wells. Just for quick trips into the past or future. I'd try not to step on a moth.

10. There are a lot of robots I'd like, but I guess my pick would be C2PO or other protocol droid. Handy at helping with guests, but also good at diagnosing problems with the other gadgets around the house.

11. Batman's self-driving car. I'd never have to worry about where I parked again--just speak into my communication watch and tell the car to come get me. But when my kids get old enough to drive, I'd have to program an override so they couldn't borrow it. Perhaps I'll let them use the flying car.

12. A Halodeck. I wouldn't have to leave home to go on vacation. I could make up my own environment and do role-playing. Everyone in the family would love it!

13. Lastly, I would like "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Not only would it be a wealth of information, but its take on things are refreshing. I'd have to help write the portion about humans on Earth.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Family Tree Lighting Ceremony

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #73

My 13 Favorite Chuck Norris "Facts"

1. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

2. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

4. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

5. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

6. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

7. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

8. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

9. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

10. Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

11. When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

12. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

13. One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

More can be found at http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #72

You may not know that I grew up in Omaha, and spent a lot of that time in the Westroads Mall. It was the closest and biggest mall in our area of town and it had plenty of ways to keep us occupied. In light of the shooting that happened there yesterday, I'd like to share memories of that mall:

My earliest memories of Westroads was standing in line to see Santa. They had an impressive animated display, complete with a Santa's workshop, moving elves and reindeer, and everything imaginable to make a kid stand there with their mouth open for several minutes. I only stood in line to see the display, and refused to see Santa, much to the dismay of my parents.
When the mall was young, it did not have a food court. But it did have Bishops Cafeteria! You grabbed a tray, and as you went down the line, you can choose whatever foods you wanted. They would total it up at the end. I remember always getting a Jetsons plate with ham, green beans, and the best macaroni and cheese ever made.
There was a cheap theater in the mall. My father and I used to go on Saturday mornings and see Star Wars--for as long as it was playing in the theater. I think we did this about 12 times!
When my half-sister was staying with us, she used to take me to the mall on Saturday. We used to always see a movie--no matter what was playing. I remember seeing some really bad ones: Escape from Witch Mountain, Heaven Can Wait, and Hanger 18.
When the phone company was de-monopolized (aka deregulated), an Omaha Bell store was put in so that you can buy your own phone! They had a display were you can call other phones in the store, and we'd do this for as long as they'd let us.
The Montgomery Wards had a candy counter where my Dad would always buy chocolate stars with the white little balls on them. They sold balloons, too, but my Mother hated balloons and he'd get in trouble if he bought me one.
My Mother worked at the Montgomery Wards for many years. She worked in the back at the very old-fashioned switchboard. It was the kind with all the wires and holes and you had to put the right wire in the right hole to connect someone to the right extension. I'd sneak back and watch her and ask for more money.
When I was a young teen, my Mother would take me and a friend to the mall while she worked. I guess we were considered early Mall Rats.
My best friend's mother owned a t-shirt shop on the lowest floor in a corner. We'd go just to say "Hi" (she didn't live with her Mother.) But it was the kind of store where you can pick out the shirt and the transfer and they'd put it on for you with a steamer. I remember getting a baseball jersey with a rainbow. I also remember they had a shirt that on the front that said, "To entertain an idiot, see other side." It said the same thing on the back.
If I had extra money, I'd always buy an Orange Julius. I almost never had extra money.
My first boyfriend bought me a bracelet there and had it engraved with my name on one side and "Love, (name)" on the other. We went there on my birthday.
One of the last things I did before boarding the plane to move to Ohio, was go to that t-shirt shop I mentioned earlier. I bought a shirt that said, "London, England (with a picture of Big Ben); Rome, Italy (tower of Pisa); Paris, France (Eiffel Tower)' and Omaha, Nebraska (cow)."
Whenever I visit Omaha, I go to Westroads. It's very different now and looks nothing like I remember. But it has a food court that still has Orange Julius and a Runza Hut. If you've never had a Runza, you should.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Christmas Answer #2: Christmas Trees

The Christmas tree is another example of the Christianization of pagan or secular traditions that celebrate the Winter Solstice. Christmas trees are evergreen, remaining green all year round. Evergreens have always been important during winter solstice because they reminded people that things were not all dead, and that Spring would come again.

Many cultures in many different lands used evergreens to decorate during the wintertime. Some of those were Egyptians, Romans, Druids, and Vikings. Our modern tradition can be traced back to 1570 Germany, when a small fir was decorated with apples, nuts, dates, pretzels and paper flowers. Children would collect the treats on Christmas day.

I've never had a real Christmas tree at home. I look forward to the day when we can go out and find one on our land and bring it home. But for now, we're happy with our cheap, Wal*Mart pre-lit tree. To me, it's still just as pretty and more friendly to the environment. I can't help but think about all those poor trees that are destroyed for a couple of weeks of enjoyment.

references:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_tree
http://www.christmastrees.on.ca/ednet/lesson1.html

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Christmas Answer #1

Yesterday we put up our Christmas decorations. I knew my husband, a well-known Grinch, was gone for the afternoon, providing us the opportunity to get out the tree (fake, pre-lit) and all the other festive items. My son, who is 7 years-old asked me a lot of questions about the Christmas traditions that I could not answer. Why do people put an angel or a star on top of their tree? What is "Noel"? Why Santa Clause? Why put out colored lights and decorations at all?

I don't like answering his questions with "because we have always done that." We are not particularly religious, so I want to give him satisfying answers that are based on fact, tradition, and not stories that were hijacked by a particular belief and changed to satisfy those beliefs. So I'm doing a little bit of research and would like to share some of my findings.

By the way, we were completely done and had everything cleaned up by the time my husband came home. He said, "A Christmas Bomb went off while I was gone." But I know that deep down he really likes the colored lights. In fact, he slept in the living room last night with the tree on the entire time.

Christmas Answer #1: Why December 25th?

Before I try to answer that question, we have to learn a little about Winter Solstice. A solstice occurs twice a year, whenever Earth's axis tilts the most toward or away from the Sun, causing the Sun to be farthest north or south at noon. The winter solstice, which happens around December 22nd or 23rd, is when the days are the shortest of the entire year, and the nights are really long. At least that's true for the Northern hemisphere. We have to remember that in the Southern hemisphere, it's the opposite, and that Christmas time happens during their Summer!

A very long time ago, people became afraid that the nights would become longer and longer, and the sun would disappear altogether! They would especially be afraid at the time of the Winter Solstice. However, the wise people would notice that by December 25th, the days were getting longer again! Then it was time to celebrate the return of the sun.

Many cultures and religions have celebrations around the time of the Winter Solstice. For example, the Jewish holiday, Hanukkah, or the Muslim holiday of Ramadan.

But for the answer of Why December 25th for Christmas? Here's the short answer: No one really knows the day that Jesus was born, but they suspect that it was probably in the Fall. Early Christian church leaders selected December 25th because this was already the date recognized throughout the Roman Empire as the birthday of various Pagan gods. So, basically, it was already being celebrated for the birth of some gods, why not their god, Jesus? Eventually, when Christianity became more popular, they dropped the other gods and focused on Christianity's one god.

References:
Religious Tolerance.org from Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance: http://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_sel.htm
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solstice

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #71

Today is Thanksgiving and I should be cooking my Mother's special creamy mashed potatoes, but I still have time. I already made the cranberry relish and cranberry chutney, so I'm just about set to go to my Sister-in-Law's home for a nice dinner. But first things first, I need to get my Thursday Thirteen for the week up!

13 Things I'm Thankful For

1. My daughter is fully potty trained. No more diapers for me! Except those that she wears at night--but that's just fine with me. The only problem is that she's so tiny, I can't get pants to fit her around the waist! Most pants in her size are made for toddlers who still wear diapers.

2. My son understands and appreciates the humor of Monty Python. Not bad for a 7-year-old! The other day we were talking and I said, "Well, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!" and he responded correctly, "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!" and he grabbed a pillow and started torchering me.

3. My daughter has stopped sucking her thumb. She did this all by herself. She got a sore on her thumb (probably from too much sucking!) and requested a bandage. We kept the bandage on for a few days, and after a few grumpy days and nights, she was done with the thumb!

4. My son lost his first tooth this week. Probably one of the teeth that bit me while I was nursing! I'm thankful that he's growing and becoming a young man.

5. I'm extremely thankful for my neighbor, Brad. He's single-handadly responsible for bringing us to Creekistan and helping fix the house. All of the beautiful work done on the house is his.

6. My piano. We finally got a piano about a year ago, and I've been playing it just about every day. I've started teaching my children how to read music and play. I'm even giving lessons to a friend's little girl. My Grandmother would have been proud.

7. Satellite radio. I enjoy having good reception and a choice of stations. The only regular radio stations I can get around here are religious or country. Now I can listen to whatever I want.

8. Satellite internet. Since I can't get cable or DSL service here, it was our only choice for high-speed Internet.

9. Netflix. We don't get any TV stations and don't want satellite TV, so Netflix is our lifesaver! The turnaround is pretty fast (send movie back, day 1; Netflix receives movie and sends another one, day 2; and receive new movie at home, day 3.) Except for those days we suspect that our mail carrier is watching our movies before delivering them to us!

10. My laptop. I would go insane if I didn't have a decent computer with good software to work from.

11. Being able to stay at home full time. Yes it's hard living on only one income when you're used to two, but it's not that bad. My kids appreciate it, my home is running better, and I'm less stressed.

12. The beauty of the forest that I live in. Each season shows something new and interesting. I was sad to see all the leaves fall from the trees, but now I can see more sky between the branches. And now I can walk deeper into the forest without getting lost in the underbrush.

13. My husband is officially done with his Doctorate. We completed his dissertation earlier this week, it got approved, and now we're waiting on confirmation that early next month, he will officially be Dr. Evil Composer.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #70

If it says "Forward this to (insert number here) friends and (insert positive action here) will happen," I almost immediately delete it, no matter what hex may befall me. I've been e-mailing for over 10 years and I've seen lots of hoaxes and bogus stories, and all kinds of e-mails. And I'm not afraid to tell the sender the truth.

Now I'm starting to see the old messages come around again. I guess, as far as e-mail is concerned, there's a sucker born every minute. Now that people who were initially reluctant to get e-mail or just didn't know how, are finally using e-mail. Those new users are gullible to the old hoaxes, just as I was over 10 years ago. I'm just amazed that these hoaxes cannot be killed off.

13 of My (not-so) Favorite E-Mail Hoaxes

1. Those that say "forward to 5 friends and see what happens!". Basically this doesn't work except to put yet another FW: e-mail address on a list and more of those annoying >>>>> all over the message so that it's hard to read the original text.

2. The Koran ( 9:11 ) says " . . . the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah." No such passage exists. It's purely a hoax to play on American patriotism.

3. Applebees will not give out $50 gift certificates to anyone who forwards a certain e-mail message to 5 friends.

4. Putting Vicks VapoRub on the bottom of your feet will cure night-time coughs. I just have to laugh!

5. Glade Plug-Ins will cause fires. I have received this warning message several times. After investigation, I found out that this is simply not true. It it was, they would have taken it off the market by now!

6. Kidnappers who snatch children in stores (or other public place), take them to a bathroom, cut their hair, and change their clothes. Frightening, and even plausible, but not true.

7. An Essay titled "The Paradox of our Time" was written by George Carlin. Simply not true! This is just another one of those laundry lists that cites everything that is wrong with today. Carlin didn't write such sentimental bull sh*t.

8. An atheist group is trying to get the FCC to ban religious radio stations. Simply untrue. The FCC has no authority to ban religious programming.

9. A form of the drug, Meth, called Strawberry Quik, is being handed out to children and it looks like candy. Okay, I'm sure it does look like candy. But drug dealers can't afford to give out bags of meth for Halloween.

10. Paul Harvey did not do a show on how Hillary Clinton helped two Black Panthers get away with murder, also untrue.

11. Any e-mail petition. They simply do not work and have no legality.

12. You do not have to register your cell phone on the Do Not Call registry.

13. Just in time for the holidays, the "Merry Christmas Virus" e-mail claims that a message with an attachment named "Merry Christmas" contains a virus that will "burn" the hard drive on the infected computer. No such virus exists, and if you have up-to-date virus protection software, (or a Mac, like me) you'll be okay. Just so you know, a virus cannot be passed around in a simple e-mail message. It can, however, be embedded in an attachment.

Just a quick word: Don't forward anything to all your friends and family if you are not sure of the validity of the message. Confirm it on www.snopes.com or just do a simple Internet search!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #69

13 Things that Happened This Week

1. The shingles are almost all on the house, with a few hard-to-reach spots still left bear. Hopefully that will be done soon!

2. I joined The FlyLady's mailing list - She help with reminders and suggestions for housecleaning and organizing, something I need. So far, I've cleaned my ceiling fans and kept my refrigerator clean, all in about 15 minutes a day.

3. My husband and a friend started their fall deer hunting. Right now they can hunt with a bow. So far, Humans 0, Bambi 1.

4. We cleaned out the storage bin that we've had since we moved to Creekistan. It contained all the stuff we didn't really need and furniture we didn't want in the way while we work. It's all sitting in the Bee House now. I may never need that stuff again.

5. I'm just about done transferring landscaping to my yard from a friend's yard. They recently purchased the house and don't want the bushes and plants that the previous owners planted for better curb appeal. I think they are crazy, but I'll take the free stuff!

6. It's getting cold, so now I have to get out the winter stuff and put away the summer stuff. Seems that my kids have outgrown the winter stuff from last year and now I need to find them warmer clothes.

7. I decided to start an eBay consignment business, tentatively named "Git-R-Gone". A lot of the folks around here have junk they want to sell but don't know how to use eBay. That's where I come in! My first client has some "collec table" burlap bags. We'll have to see how that goes!

8. While cleaning out the storage bin, I found out that I have too many kids books--if that is possible! I love having lots of books around, but I don't have enough shelves. I may have to purge some and donate them to the library.

9. I did manage to find my favorite children's chapter book, "Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles," and have been reading it to my kids. I recommend this book to everyone, adult or kid. It was given to me on my 9th birthday and has seen better days, but it can still be read and loved.

10. I'm putting the final touches on my husband's dissertation for his doctorate. Since he's a composer, it's a musical score, but not an ordinary score. It's very graphical and contains sections that call for particular beans to be placed in wood or metal bowls or balloons with rice inside to be swirled around. It's not easy trying to put that into picture/musical score form.

11. I also finished my Mother's Christmas letter. Since I do graphic design, I created the border and placed the text inside. I'm arguing with her about not using red text--I've always recommended staying away from red as it is hard on the eyes. She wants it to have a festive look. What do you think?

12. I, on the other hand, still have Halloween decorations to put away, let alone think about Christmas. But trips to the stores are a tempting reminder since they already have the trees up and decorated.

13. I managed to shoot an arrow into and help kill a large, grumpy possum that was irritating us. Something must have been wrong with it since it wouldn't move from it's spot in our yard. I didn't feel bad about killing it--I was probably doing it a favor as well as protecting my children. My family was impressed, especially my son, since I had to use his bow and arrow.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #68

13 Things That Really Scare Me

1. Bigfoot - My one true irrational fear. When driving at night in the woods, I'm always afraid of surprising one trying to cross the road.

2. The JFK Conspiracy -
When I was little, I saw a TV show about the assassination that featured the Zapruder film. For some reason, it scared me. To this day the idea that someone was killed, on camera, and that there seems to be a reality different than the "official story" makes me shiver. We may never know the satisfying truth.

3. Aliens from Outer Space - I once saw a planetarium show about close encounters of the third kind, not the movie, but the phenomenon. From that day I'm always wondering, late at night, if a grey alien is looking through the window at me.

4. Ouija boards - I'm amazed that these things are being sold as a "game". I think that nothing good can come from playing with the thing. I haven't had anything creepy happen to me the very few times I've trying playing with it, but I don't want to take any chances.

5. Photos of Ghosts - Especially those that show figures in mirrors. Although I think I could reproduce the effect with a properly place photo, this phenomenon happens too often to be ignored.

6. Art Bell's "Ghost-To-Ghost" - This is the version of Coast to Coast AM radio show when callers get to call in and tell their personal ghost stories. I happen to be listening to it right now, creeping myself out by sitting in the dark kitchen with my laptop. I hope that was the cat I just heard.

7. The movie Loose Change - This movie claims that the September 11 attacks were planned and conducted by elements within the United States government, and bases these claims on perceived anomalies in the historical record of the attacks. I'm not sure about these claims, but the way the evidence is presented is creepy. It makes you wonder! When I saw it, I couldn't sleep that night.

8. Unsolved Mysteries - A TV show hosted by Robert Stack. Just the music raises the hair on the back of my neck.

9. The music, Tubular Bells, from the movie The Exorcist. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check this out and then you'll know what I think just the music is scary!

10. Manfred Mann's Earth Band's song "Blinded by the Light" - When I was about 7, this song creeps me out, especially the eerie guitar part. It reminded me of some of the music used in a TV show about Bigfoot.

11. The Captain - The spirit that we believe that haunts our Creekistan home. I had a dream that at one time a riverboat captain had lived and died lived here. He even buried a treasure around here somewhere! He's not scary, but you can tell that he's around sometimes. A friend of mine asked me "Who's standing behind me?" and I had to answer "The Captain," since no one was behind her.

12. Serial Killers - Hopefully I don't need to explain this. I'm scared yet fascinated by these killers.

13. New Movie: House of a 1000 Muppets

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #67

13 Pets That I've Had

1. Snoopy - Yep, a beagle. He was so fat that his belly hit the ground. Even though I was very young when he died, I remember him fondly as a tolerant dog who would let me dress him.

2. Daisy - She was a dachshund (aka wiener dog). She was brown and very nice. I don't remember too much about her since we only had her for about two or three years when I was little. When we moved from the farm to the suburbs, I guess she could not adjust. My parents had some explaining to do as to why Daisy was gone.

3. Denver - Another dachshund. We adopted Denver when he was an adult, but he was only with us for about a month. When Daisy went into heat, he gallantly defended her from other dogs, giving his life. His efforts paid off, because Daisy had a very cute litter of 5 pups that looked just like him, except for one that looked like her mother.

4. Tiny Tim - He was a pure bred toy poodle born on St. Patrick's Day. A great little dog, he was a good friend to me for several years. I remember that he would go to the park with me (we let him roam the neighborhood) and go down the slide with me. He liked to snuggle whenever my Mother took naps and would sleep with me at night. I remember that during his first Christmas, he not only chewed on the ornament, tree, and stockings, but he also tore through all the presents under the tree.

5. Tiny Tim Too - Another poodle that my older sister purchased after she moved out. But for some reason, she couldn't take care of him and my parents took him in. I remember that he was stupid. We didn't get attached and ended up giving him to a loving family with a large farm. From then on, he was in their family photos.

6. Melody - After having to move to a different city right before my senior year of high school, I managed to talk my parents into buying me a Shi Tzu puppy. She was a blast! I named her Melody because she reminded me of a piano keyboard--black and white. We would let her ride in the car with us just about everywhere we could--she learned that she could get treats from fast food windows. She understood many words and you could just about have a conversation with her. She would take my Father on walks and even though his Alzheimer's had him confused, she would lead him home.

7. Salvador - My first cat. When I had an apartment that would allow cats, I wanted one right away. I found Salvador (named after Salvador Dali, the artist) on the street as a tiny, skinny black cat. He was a terror as a kitten, but once he settled down, he was great. He grew to be quite large. I had him for many years.

8. Scarlet - Another black cat. Salvador's vet gave her to me and said that they were the same age and would get along great. Wrong. Seems that Scarlet was an adult ferile cat. Somehow we managed to domesticate her, but she never liked Salvador. I'll always remember her as the cat that liked to sit on top of the TV and drool.

9. Vincent - Another cat project that my husband took on. He was named Vincent because he had part of an ear missing, along with most of his nose. He also had broken his tail in several places, which fused together so that he couldn't move it normally. He must have been nearly blind and deaf, and was incontinent. Lovely! He couldn't walk backwards and would get stuck under furniture or in a corner.

10. Goofy - A Beta fish that I got my son for his second birthday. Five years later, he's still around! I swear he greets me whenever he sees me! Sometimes he would seem to be dead, but when I tap on the bowl, he wakes up.

11. Nearly Tailless Nick - He was a kitten that wandered into Creekistan when we were still living in the construction trailer. At first I had to lure him into a cage with food, but eventually we had him tame enough to come into the trailer when it was cold outside. He didn't have a tail, but he had plenty of attitude! He ran off after nearly a year, the day before he was scheduled to get fixed.

12. Bandit - Our current beast-in-residence. Bandit was rescued as a 1-week-old puppy after his mother was hit by a car. He was hand raised and we adopted him. He's the largest dog I've ever had, and quite the character. I think it's necessary to have a dog like Bandit out here in Creekistan, and he does a great job.

13. Gracie - Our current bed-heating cat. We didn't expect to get her, she chose us from the pet store. She was only a year old, but she already had a sweet temperament. She tolerates the kids and even secretly loves them, and is very friendly to everyone. But she's also a great mouser/squirreler/batter. Perfect for our family and for Creekistan.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #66

13 of my Favorite Modern Deities/Religions

1. J. R. "Bob" Dobbs - Church of the Subgenious. The Church of the SubGenius is known for a standing offer that stems from the ordainment fee of $30: "Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE Your Money Back!" The organization claims that if an ordained SubGenius minister dies and finds himself standing at the gates of "Normal" or "Boring" Hell, he will be personally greeted by Church founder J. R. "Bob" Dobbs Himself and receive a refund check for $90.00, along with a booklet titled, "How to Enjoy Hell for Five Cents an Eternity," which costs $89.95.

2. Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) - The religion was founded in 2005 by Oregon State University physics graduate Bobby Henderson to protest against the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution.

3. Invisible Pink Unicorn - Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them.

4. Jedi - 0.7% of citizens in the UK listed it as their religion. Yoda would be proud!

5. Russell's teapot - Bertrand Russell (1872–1970) stated that, for the sake of argument, between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit. Then, if, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.

6. Discordianism - is a modern, chaos-centered religion. Discordianism recognizes chaos, discord, and dissent as valid and desirable qualities.

7. Frisbeetarianism says that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and you can't get it down. A lesser known aspect is the holy event known as "The Ascension", wherein someone comes along with a ladder and collects all the souls.

8. The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism, is the Christian denomination attended by most residents of Springfield on "The Simpsons." Presbylutherans split from the Catholic Church during the "Schism of Lourdes" to defend their "god-given right to come to church with wet hair," a right the Presbylutheran church later abolished.

9. The Great Pumpkin - The Great Pumpkin appears to exist only in the imagination of Linus, friend of Snoopy and Charlie Brown. Every Halloween, Linus awaits the appearance of The Great Pumpkin, which never appears. Poor Linus, he believes so strongly that we want the Great Pumpkin to appear!

10. Scientology was created by author L. Ron Hubbard in 1952 as an outgrowth of his self-help system, Dianetics. I'm too afraid to go further because I don't want any Scientologist Suits to come to Creekistan and do a "Stress Test" on me. Unless that Scientologist is Tom Cruise.

11. Zeus - He's making a comeback! [Read this! ]

12. Elvis - Church of Jesus Christ Elvis. "For unto you is born this day in the city of Memphis a Presley, which is Elvis the King."

13. Festivus - What is religion without holidays? How about a holiday without a religion? Festivus was popularized in a 1997 "Seinfeld" episode. It's called "Festivus for the rest of us," and is the holiday celebrated by the Costanza clan on December 23rd. Mr. Costanza, played by Jerry Stiller, erects a plain aluminium pole and practices the airing of grievances.