Thursday Thirteen #78

Thursday Thirteen: For The Birds

1. A friend of mine had extra beer left over from a party and gave them to me. I don't usually like Bud and Bud Light, but it's free! I put them on the back porch to stay cold. Lately I was worried that they may explode in the cold temperatures. I was afraid to even check, and I've been out of beer for a while. But I got desperate and checked, and YEAH! they did not explode. The cans of beer, however, do have sawdust all over them from being too close to the circular saw.

2. With the temperatures in the teens and single digits, we've been letting the dog in at night. Contrary to what most people may think of Bandit, he's pretty good inside the house. I can get him to lay down on the floor near the kids and he'll stay there all night.

3. My 7-year-old son is getting pretty good with the computer. I let him have my old iMac (older than him!) and he knows how to use it. In fact, right now, he has iTunes playing my 3-year-old's personal playlist so that she'll leave him alone long enough to do his homework.

4. My 3-year-old daughter's iTunes playlist is actually pretty good. She really likes Devo, especially Whip It and Working In A Coalmine. I've been playing Radiohead for her, and she really enjoys it. She whips her long blond hair around like a heavy-metal guitarist. Actually, I think she'll play drums.

5. I've been watching a friend's two kids while she teaches at the university. Her husband also teaches there, as does my husband. I feel like the housewife for three professors.

6. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, finally. I was inspired by Colleen who said "Overnight my hair reaches critical mass and I can’t go another day without a haircut."

7. I'm also going to get my hair highlighted. So now I have thoughts of having hair like Kelly Clarkson or Penolope Cruz. Actually, the only reason I'm having highlights is to hide the grey.

8. I've been daydreaming about what I'd do with the money I get from the economic stimulus package--it reminds me of dreaming of winning the lottery. Actually, the money is already spent and would be used to pay outstanding bills. I'm still holding out for winning the lottery, if only I had enough money to play.

9. I just found an old friend on MySpace. He owns a parrot that I used to "birdsit" occasionally. I don't know if I missed him or the bird more! Sorry, Andy, I don't mean it. I really miss your gigantic hugs more than bird poop on my shoulder. Say "Hello" to Crackers for me!

10. My daughter turned 3 last Wednesday, but she's been celebrating for a week. Every night I have to read Dr. Seus' Happy Birthday To You, she's still playing with her Happy Birthday mylar balloon, and wishes everyone a Happy Birthday. Why not?

11. My son just wrote the sentence "I am straighter then you." When I checked his writing, I had to laugh. He thought the word was "stronger." So he changed the word "am" to "stand." Much better!

12. My husband's car door froze shut when I was starting the car for him. So I managed to climb into the back and open the door from the inside. When he was trying to leave, the door wouldn't shut. He yelled at me for opening the door from the inside. I guess, in his fury, he forgot that sometimes you need to get OUT of the car. I quickly fixed the latch and all was better.

13. Someday I'm going to compile a list of phrases that you may only say once in your life. For example, "I hate it when the kids break the abacus!"

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Thursday Thirteen #77

13 Reasons Why My Thursday Thirteen Is Late

1. Wednesday was my daughter's third birthday. We partied all day and the kids were still wound up in the evening.

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2. I let my son stay up a little later Wednesday night because we were doing his "French for Kids" lessons--listening to a CD and doing worksheets. We can count to 10 in French now!

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3. Wednesday night I went to bed with the kids and fell asleep. Therefore I was not able (or willing) to get up in the middle of the night and do my Thursday Thirteen. A lot of my TT writings are done around 3 am.

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4. When I did wake up in the middle of the night, I was too cold. All I could do was change into my warm pajamas and get back under the warm covers.

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5. With Monday being a holiday, I forgot that Thursday was Thursday.

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6. My husband was scheduled for minor surgery Thursday morning. I was getting prepared for a rushed morning.

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7. Thursday morning was rushed and very snowy. We decided, after starting down the road, to drop my son and daughter at the sitters and forget about school. I thought it would be cancelled anyway because of the snow.

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8. I had to ship out some eBay stuff and had to stop at the post office before going to the surgery.

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9. We got to the Same-Day Surgery center at 10 am--just as we were supposed to, even though the roads were snowy.

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10. The doctor was running late. We had to wait until after 2 for his surgery. (FYI: He's fine, it was a routine procedure--but you know how sometimes men can be big babies!)

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11. During the 4+ hour wait, I managed to crochet a small hat.

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12. The drug store's computer was down, so I had to wait for my husband's medications.

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13. I didn't get home to my computer until about 7 pm Thursday night. So here I am! Finally!

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Mein Hund Ist Krank

Bandit is an outdoor dog. He's only allowed in the house to help clean up food spills or when it's dangerously cold outside.

One day when I was gone and my husband and son were left at home, my son let Bandit into the house. But not only was he allowed into my bedroom, the beast was allowed to lay on my bed. A definite No No.

According to my sons testimony, my son and the dog were relaxing on the bed when, out of the blue, the dog vomited on my side of the bed. My son tried to clean it up, but had to enlist the help of his father. His father instructed him to use a magazine to scoop the sick into a bag. Then clean the area with a wet towel. He did a good job and I might not have known, but my son had to tell me about the incident when I got home.

Luckily, I was at the laundrymat and had just washed bedding and was planning to change the sheets anyway. Just for good measure, I also flipped the mattress.

Just for fun, I had my husband translate the phrase "My dog is sick," into German: "Mein Hund ist krank."

Thursday Thirteen #76

13 Things You May Find Yourself Saying in the Future

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1. Dang! I tore my iPod in half.

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2. I'm going to Wal-Mart for sex-change surgery, again.

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3. There's a UFO delay on the east-bound highway. The craft has the left lane blocked.

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4. After the light, go past 5 Starbucks and turn right at the Super Starbucks.

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5. Boy does this laptop cut hurt!

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6. Laser me off a slice of that cow-goat hybrid.

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7. Sex in zero gravity is too difficult. I wouldn't recommend a honeymoon on the moon.

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8. I just uploaded to this new body and I'm still getting used to it.

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9. We're having the Smiths over tonight. They're Martians, so try to make them feel welcome.

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10. Life begins at 70.

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11. My next clone is going to have red hair instead.

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12 That was really good steak. See if you can get the Chef to give us a DNA sample.

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13. I hear and obey your command evil, sentient super monkey Overlord.

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Thursday Thirteen #75

The "Bodies" exhibit is coming to my area next month and I'm excited. The exhibit, controversial because of how they obtained the bodies and how they display the bodies, is a great way to actually see inside the body, including organs, the skeletal, muscular, and vascular systems as they really are.

But I'd like to have an exhibit that's even more controversial and probably will outrage even more people then the Bodies exhibit: Critters, featuring the bodies of animals posed like you've never seen them before!

13 Items in my Critters Exhibit

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1. The muscular system of a cat, ready to pounce on the muscular system of a mouse.

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2. The internal organs of a raccoon reaching into a garbage can.

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3. The vascular system of a monkey wearing a fez, leached to a rolling calliope and posed in mid-dance. The calliope must play music.

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4. The muscular system of a turkey, sitting on a platter at a Thanksgiving dinner. (Actually, this may just look like dinner, but actually, the turkey would not be cooked.) Leave the head on with an expression of surprise.

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5. The skeletal system of a snake which had just eaten the skeletal system of a mole.

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6. The vascular systems of horses running a race.

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7. The internal organs of a pig rolling in the mud.

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8. Show the internal organs of a doe lovingly nudging a newborn fawn.

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9. My exhibit must include a nice display of the very delicate skeletal systems of various birds eating at a bird feeder. Perhaps include it inside an aviary with real-live birds!

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10, Include, in the above exhibit, the muscular system of a squirrel trying to steal birdseed.

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11. The vascular system of a bat, hanging upside down.

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12. Recreate, by using just the muscular system, the inspirational poster of the kitten hanging on to a rope with the saying "Hang In There!".

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13. The central piece of the exhibit (and perhaps most controversial) will feature the various systems of the body and would recreate the famous painting of dogs sitting around a table playing cards.

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Freecycle? Unnecessary in Creekisan!

Perhaps you've heard of Freecycle. It's an organization/website where you can list items you no longer need but hate to throw away. Obviously this works the other way: If you're looking for an item, if you don't mind something used, you may find it listed on Freecycle in your area.

In Creekistan, all you have to do is put it near the road with a "Free" sign on it. It'll get picked up within an hour. I'm not kidding! When we were cleaning out the yard of junk, we found a truck cap, emptied it out of items and blue-tailed skinks and put it near the road with a large "FREE" sign. Within the hour, someone stopped and put it in their truck.

Today, I tested it again. We put out the "dogloo" igloo-style dog house that the Beast-in-Residence does not seem to like. It was exactly 4:00 pm. At 4:40, someone stopped and wanted to confirm that it really was free. Yep! They came back 10 minutes later with a bigger car and somehow got the thing into the back seat.

In a small way, we're doing our part to help reduce/reuse/recycle things. But quite possibly, we're just adding to the junk-filled yards of our neighbors. I just hope a dog really does end up calling the old dogloo "home."

The Bluegrass Roots are Showing

When I first looked at the house we are now living in, it was strewn with junk everywhere. The house had been abandoned for a couple of years, and we suspect that local youth had used it for parties. Whoever lived here left a lot of stuff and even some furniture. One of the items was an award something like, "Bob Evans Farm Guitar" award. It was a plaque.

I heard, from the old couple that sometimes deliver water for us, one of the guys that used to live here played Bluegrass. I know his name (which I won't reveal here) because I get some of his mail. Yesterday, I got some of his mail--a tax document from Nashville.

Seems Mr. Bluegrass, formerly from Creekistan, is a Grammy-award winning Bluegrass guitar player!

I'll send the tax document where I've written: "Return to Sender - Address Unknown."

Resolutions Review for 2007

Here are the resolutions I made for 2007 and a brief follow up of how I did:

• Eat less junk food. I guess I’ll try to bring food into work so that I am less tempted to go out and grab something. | Well, I did pretty good with this since I no longer have a job and stay home, miles away from the nearest fast food restaurant.
• Read more. Okay, perhaps I should say that in the last year, I haven’t read at all! The occasional book-on-tape is how I’ve been surviving. But I do hope that the 7th and last Harry Potter book comes out this year. | Reading is something that eludes me. No, I didn't get to read more in 2007. The Harry Potter book is the only book I recall actually reading from cover to cover.
• Potty train my daughter. No more diapers! | Yeah, Baby! Except for the night, we are diaper free!
• Find a babysitter. This way, I can do resolution #6. | I did find someone who can watch the kids! Yeah!
• Plant and take care of a bigger and better garden. Perhaps I’ll even have corn this year! | Bigger, yes. Better, not really. But I have my seed catalogs for this year and I have a tiller, so we'll see!
• Finish the kitchen. This will involve painting and putting up a backspash around the stove and sink. It’s not a huge project, but it will disturb things for a while. | Not at all.
• Have more parties at home. We enjoy entertaining. Why not invite more people to come by? Okay, so the house isn’t done and the living room still has pieces of old wallpaper hanging down from the wall. But the floor is down and there’s plenty of room to dance! | We did entertain more, especially around Christmas and New Year. And we've had more people just stop by!
• Blog more often. Sometimes I think if it wasn’t for Thursday 13, my blog would be empty. | Not really.
• Take more pictures. With a digital camera, there is no excuse for not taking pictures. I’ll need a big memory card, but that shouldn’t be too difficult. | Yes! But my camera won't work with a memory card, so I have to upload often.
• Enter something into the county fair. I don’t know what, yet. But I could try entering a piece of artwork or a photo, or even a pie. | Yes! I have two blue ribbons to prove it! Next year, I'll enter even more!