13 Silly Names I Have for Everyday Things
- Eye Juice = Contact lens solution
- Shit Tickets = toilet paper
- Pit Stick = Deodorant
- Butt Wipes = Baby wipes.
- Poop Tacos = Dirty baby wipes. It refers to what the baby wipes look like when you’re done using them.
- P.R.B.I. = Puke-Related Belch Incident. Special thanks go to George Carlin for that one. But we use this term on a regular basis.
- P.R.F.I. = Poop-Related Fart Incident. (Why do a lot of these relate to excrement and excrement-related things? Guess it comes with raising children—if you don’t have a sense of humor about those things, you could get grossed out.)
- Happy Happy Fun Place – This is an area we have cordoned-off in the kitchen to keep the baby safe. We used to call it Baby Jail, but when the Baby cried every time I put her there, I thought the change of name would help. It didn’t.
- Ike – A nice way of saying that I’m going to “beat you up.” For example, “You better watch it, or I’m going to Ike you.” This is a reference to Ike and Tina. NOTE: We don’t actually beat each other up. Once you say this phrase, everyone starts laughing and the urge to kill fades.
- Hit the Bitch – This phrase refers to going to the ATM to withdrawal money. For example: “I’m going to Hit the Bitch and get $40.”
- BeeBee – This is the Baby’s contribution to the list. This is her attempt to say “Baby”. It refers to anything cute or desirable. She’ll point to candy and say “BeeBee” or she’ll point to a bird and say “BeeBee.”
- Pee Pants = Diapers
- Eat the Peanut = Suicide. We have a friend that is allergic to peanuts. Every time he would joke about killing himself, he would say “I’m going to Eat the Peanut.” Believe me, he was purely joking. He’s alive and well.
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