- A rabid bat can bite you while you’re sleeping and you wouldn’t know until you die of rabies.
- Accidentally putting metal in a microwave will not destroy the microwave. In the late ‘70s, I accidentally put a stick of margarine in the microwave, not thinking that the outside covering was foil. The light show was spectacular! As far as I know, that microwave is still running.
- Curses or blessings cannot be passed through e-mail. How many times have you received an e-mail that says “pass this on to 5 people or you will . . . ?” I am not afraid of ignoring those sort-of things.
- Elmo is voiced by Kevin Clash, a 46 year-old African American man. It always makes me feel good to know that there are some adults, just like me, who haven’t lost touch with their inner 4-year-old.
- Gilbert Gottfried actually does the voice of the AFLAC duck.
- Halloween does not have anything to do with Satan. Some people believe that Halloween is a prime recruiting season for Satanists and therefore poses a considerable chance for children to convert. If you look at it simply, it is a secular holiday where children dress in costumes and go door-to-door trick and treating for candy. I have never experienced a Satanist prostletizing Satanism. In fact, I have experienced the opposite: Christians prostletizing Christianity.
- In the song, “Blinded By the Light,” by Manfred Mann (1976), the lyric that sounds like, “Wrapped up like a douche, you know the roamer in the night,” is actually “revved up like a deuce, Another runner in the night.” A “deuce” is a 1932 Ford Coupe, as in “Little Deuce Coupe.” Now you know.
- Jell-O is not a salad. Sorry Mom! It’s a dessert.
- Jesus was not born on December 25th. Starting about the eighth century, Christians began to discourage pagan or secular celebrations and to make up a Christian meaning for the celebration. The most common times for celebration are the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. Christians then assimilated those celebrations into Christmas and Easter.
- Podcasts do not require an iPod in order to listen to them.
- Sushi does not mean “raw fish.” I don’t like fish. But I will eat sushi. That’s because I like sushi that does not include fish. Sushi is a type of food that has seaweed, rice, and an inside. While that inside is usually fish, it can be all kinds of other things. I love Inari: sushi rice filled into deep fried tofu bags.
- When a kid says they are feeing sick, as in “going to throw up,” believe them and immediately act accordingly. As a child that was prone to car sickness, I can attest.
- You do not need to stop when making a right turn. Unless there is a stop sign.
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