Thursday 13 #22

Parts of My Body That Have Been Altered or Fixed

1. Eyes #1 – I guess I had blocked tear ducts when I was a baby. They did a procedure on me when I was about 6 months old. To this day I don’t like other people messing with my eyes.

2. Pierced ears #1. When I was 11, I finally talked my Mother into letting me get my ears pierced. She got hers done at the same time.

3. Right ear #1. I guess getting my ears pierced caused a large cyst to grow on my right ear. It had to be surgically removed when I was 15. It closed my pierced ear, so that I could only wear an earring in my left ear.

4. Pierced ears #2. I was too traumatized by not having my right ear pierced that I went and did it again. But this time I had to get the piercing higher up on my ear. This allowed me to wear three earrings: one in my right and two in my left. Great for those long, dangly earrings they liked in the 80s.

5. Eyes #2 – Contacts and glasses. I didn’t like the glasses much, so I almost immediately went to contacts. But at the time, contacts were expensive, fragile, and needed the be “heated” every night. Thank goodness for disposables and for all-purpose solution!

6. Knee – I was in a car accident when I was 19. My right knee went through the dash board (or visa versa). I received a double-compound fracture. This means that my kneecap was shattered and exposed. I never looked at it. My knee was mended with wires and screws.

7. Left Pinky finger #1 and #2 – In that same auto accident, I also nearly severed a pinky finger. It’s been repaired but is not quite normal, either. About 15 years later, I started having problems with my finger again! Seems that they left a stitch in and it wanted to get out. Quick little procedure and it was removed.

8. Right Ear #2 – The cyst is back! I had to go for another surgery to remove it. I remember hearing the stitches go through my skin. Very unnerving sound.

9. Right Ear #3 - Okay, they never got all of the cysts! So I had another surgery. This time, we made sure to remove all cysts and their “roots.” So far so good!

10. Left Big Toe – As a consequence for having a bum right knee, I developed a bunion on my left foot. I think I was over compensating for my right leg. I had to have my toe broken, some bone removed, and screws put in to keep the toe straight. Seems okay now.

11. Stomach – Okay, C-sections. Two of them. My husband remembers peeking around the surgical drape to see my intestines being held up by a doctor. Glad I didn’t see!

12. Nose – My Boy, aka Wreckingball Head, caused damage to my nose. So I had to have surgery to correct my deviated septum. After a weeks worth of uncomfortable stuff up my nose, I can breathe a lot easier.

13. My “Bum” – Yep! I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to tell you about my surgery to remove a large thrombosed hemorrhoid. I should have known, when a nun at the hospital prayed really hard over me before the surgery, what I was getting into. The worst surgery ever! Very uncomfortable and very painful. My first bowel movement after the surgery was comparable to childbirth.

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