Strangers on my Porch

The chickens woke me up this morning. No, not the rooster, the hens! They were carrying on. Last time I heard them like that, two dogs were trying to get into their pen and succeeded, killing two hens: Shanigha and Oprah. This morning, I didn't hesitate to check. Since the dog has been in the house at night, sleeping in the warm, he followed me out. I was only in my jammies.

Two smaller dogs were waiting for me. One was on my porch, a beagle, trying to eat Bandit's food. The other, a black shepherd mix, was running around, upsetting the chickens.

The flock was okay, my extra security held. But now Bandit is outside, playing with the dogs. He's too friendly to keep them away! When I go out to see if there are any eggs and give the chickens non-frozen water, we'll see if the dogs are still around.

Thursday Thirteen #87

13 Things I, Bandit the Dog, Like About Creekistan

1. My big cushion on the front porch. Yeah, it used to be an archery target, but I like to lay on it.

---

2. People bring me bones. I especially like hog bones.

---

3. Chasing cars. I love to chase the UPS guy.

---

4. Tricking my masters by barking at nothing and making them come outside to investigate.

---

5. Playing with the children. They can't catch me.

---

6. Getting deer parts from the forest. I love to bring deer legs home to sit on my cushion and nibble on them.

---

7. Barking at cars that park up the street. Why do they stop there?

---

8. Coming into the house to clean up food spills. Thanks, kids!

---

9. Drinking out of puddles.

---

10. Trying to chase and catch rabbits. I got one, once. Yummy!

---

11. Protecting my family from those guys that come and take our garbage every Thursday.

---

12. Did I mention that I like to bark at anything?

---

13. Getting let into the house on cold winter nights and sleeping on a pile of dirty laundry.

---

Thursday Thirteen #82

Thursday Thirteen: Mayhem in Creekistan

---

1. The 3-year-old boy that I watch 3 days a week freaked out Monday morning and didn't want to be at my place. I had to hold him down for about 20 minutes so that he wouldn't run out the door and down the street. He was kicking and screaming the entire time, and even pissed himself. I kept my cool, because I knew that no matter how stubborn he is, I'm more stubborn. He was much better on Wednesday.

---

2. Monday was warm outside, so I started on the gardening stuff. At least I found the shovel and the hoe. But I noticed some annuals starting to get green.

---

3. The spring flowers are starting to come up.

---

4. I'm waiting for my new digital camera to arrive. Hopefully it can take much better pictures than my old one.

---

5. Speaking of spring, there is an old abandoned house deep in the woods that, every spring, is completely surrounded by beautiful daffodils. We call it the Daffodil House. I'll take pictures.

---

6. The spring peepers (frogs) are peeping. I love the sound and will stop my car, roll down all the windows, and listen for a while.

---

7. I got a call from a company that I interviewed with around November last year. They are finally interested in looking to hire me, but lost my resume and want me to send it again. Do they really think I would want to work for a company that disorganized? Besides, I think I like this stay-at-home thing. At least for now.

---

8. I did call that company back and found out that indeed, the executive had lost my resume and contact information. He made his assistant track me down. Eventually she spoke with someone at my son's elementary school and found me.

---

9. I felt sad that they went through all that trouble just to find me and then I didn't want to work for them! So I'm working out a freelance/consultative agreement with them instead. Work at home and bill them the hours.

---

10. I've also become very busy doing postcards and posters for local arts organizations. It's fun work, but they are the toughest customers!

---

11. Our dog Bandit keeps bringing home deer bones and leaves them on the porch or driveway. My 3-year-old daughter grabbed my hand one day and said that I had to see something. She pointed them out and said, "Look, dinosaur bones!"

---

12. One day in the car, my daughter started repeating a phrase over and over. I couldn't figure it out at first. I asked her what it was and she said "Austin Powers". I finally figured out was a phrase from Austin Power's Goldmember: "Twins, Basil!"

---

13. We may have a new dog. One that has just been hanging out but would run away as soon as he saw people. But yesterday I was able to pet him and feed him. Bandit likes him except when I give him attention. But I think the new dog is going to stick around. I'm afraid to name him.

---

Mein Hund Ist Krank

Bandit is an outdoor dog. He's only allowed in the house to help clean up food spills or when it's dangerously cold outside.

One day when I was gone and my husband and son were left at home, my son let Bandit into the house. But not only was he allowed into my bedroom, the beast was allowed to lay on my bed. A definite No No.

According to my sons testimony, my son and the dog were relaxing on the bed when, out of the blue, the dog vomited on my side of the bed. My son tried to clean it up, but had to enlist the help of his father. His father instructed him to use a magazine to scoop the sick into a bag. Then clean the area with a wet towel. He did a good job and I might not have known, but my son had to tell me about the incident when I got home.

Luckily, I was at the laundrymat and had just washed bedding and was planning to change the sheets anyway. Just for good measure, I also flipped the mattress.

Just for fun, I had my husband translate the phrase "My dog is sick," into German: "Mein Hund ist krank."

Thursday Thirteen #67

13 Pets That I've Had

1. Snoopy - Yep, a beagle. He was so fat that his belly hit the ground. Even though I was very young when he died, I remember him fondly as a tolerant dog who would let me dress him.

---

2. Daisy - She was a dachshund (aka wiener dog). She was brown and very nice. I don't remember too much about her since we only had her for about two or three years when I was little. When we moved from the farm to the suburbs, I guess she could not adjust. My parents had some explaining to do as to why Daisy was gone.

---

3. Denver - Another dachshund. We adopted Denver when he was an adult, but he was only with us for about a month. When Daisy went into heat, he gallantly defended her from other dogs, giving his life. His efforts paid off, because Daisy had a very cute litter of 5 pups that looked just like him, except for one that looked like her mother.

---

4. Tiny Tim - He was a pure bred toy poodle born on St. Patrick's Day. A great little dog, he was a good friend to me for several years. I remember that he would go to the park with me (we let him roam the neighborhood) and go down the slide with me. He liked to snuggle whenever my Mother took naps and would sleep with me at night. I remember that during his first Christmas, he not only chewed on the ornament, tree, and stockings, but he also tore through all the presents under the tree.

---

5. Tiny Tim Too - Another poodle that my older sister purchased after she moved out. But for some reason, she couldn't take care of him and my parents took him in. I remember that he was stupid. We didn't get attached and ended up giving him to a loving family with a large farm. From then on, he was in their family photos.

---

6. Melody - After having to move to a different city right before my senior year of high school, I managed to talk my parents into buying me a Shi Tzu puppy. She was a blast! I named her Melody because she reminded me of a piano keyboard--black and white. We would let her ride in the car with us just about everywhere we could--she learned that she could get treats from fast food windows. She understood many words and you could just about have a conversation with her. She would take my Father on walks and even though his Alzheimer's had him confused, she would lead him home.

---

7. Salvador - My first cat. When I had an apartment that would allow cats, I wanted one right away. I found Salvador (named after Salvador Dali, the artist) on the street as a tiny, skinny black cat. He was a terror as a kitten, but once he settled down, he was great. He grew to be quite large. I had him for many years.

---

8. Scarlet - Another black cat. Salvador's vet gave her to me and said that they were the same age and would get along great. Wrong. Seems that Scarlet was an adult ferile cat. Somehow we managed to domesticate her, but she never liked Salvador. I'll always remember her as the cat that liked to sit on top of the TV and drool.

---

9. Vincent - Another cat project that my husband took on. He was named Vincent because he had part of an ear missing, along with most of his nose. He also had broken his tail in several places, which fused together so that he couldn't move it normally. He must have been nearly blind and deaf, and was incontinent. Lovely! He couldn't walk backwards and would get stuck under furniture or in a corner.

---

10. Goofy - A Beta fish that I got my son for his second birthday. Five years later, he's still around! I swear he greets me whenever he sees me! Sometimes he would seem to be dead, but when I tap on the bowl, he wakes up.

---

11. Nearly Tailless Nick - He was a kitten that wandered into Creekistan when we were still living in the construction trailer. At first I had to lure him into a cage with food, but eventually we had him tame enough to come into the trailer when it was cold outside. He didn't have a tail, but he had plenty of attitude! He ran off after nearly a year, the day before he was scheduled to get fixed.

---

12. Bandit - Our current beast-in-residence. Bandit was rescued as a 1-week-old puppy after his mother was hit by a car. He was hand raised and we adopted him. He's the largest dog I've ever had, and quite the character. I think it's necessary to have a dog like Bandit out here in Creekistan, and he does a great job.

---

13. Gracie - Our current bed-heating cat. We didn't expect to get her, she chose us from the pet store. She was only a year old, but she already had a sweet temperament. She tolerates the kids and even secretly loves them, and is very friendly to everyone. But she's also a great mouser/squirreler/batter. Perfect for our family and for Creekistan.

---

Thursday Thirteen #51

13 Recent Things That Has Happened in the Last Two Weeks.

1. The dog ran into a truck. Don’t worry, the truck is okay. The dog is okay too, if a little shaken up.




2. The morel mushrooms were affected by the freeze around Easter, so mushroom hunting has been disappointing this year. .




3. A lot of people go out mushroom hunting this time of year. And I found a hunter on my property. It was creepy seeing a guy slowly moving through the forest on my land—but I knew what he was doing. We explained that we’d appreciate it if he’d leave a few for the children to find. .




4. Since I got my ears pierced on my birthday in March, my 2-year-old daughter has been asking to get her ears pierced too. I don’t think so—not until she’s older.
   
   
5. I finally started some veggie seeds. I know I’m a little late, but the weather earlier this month had me scared.



6. I transplanted some hastas from across the street where they are growing like weeds to my front yard. Technically, they ~are~ growing on my yard, but I want them closer to my house and looking like I spent money on them. .




7. My 2-year-old daughter seems to be very afraid of bugs and anything that looks like a bug. She runs away from them screaming “Bug bite me! Bug bite me!.” If she keeps that up, she’ll never want to get out of bed. Where we live, there are bugs everywhere! .




8. On the other hand, my son wants to be an entomologist—a scientist who studies bugs. I think he might figure out a way to create cyber-bugs, since he’s into robotics too. .




9. My husband is almost done with his doctorate degree in music composition. He passed his written with flying colors and he said his oral exam was fun. So right now, he’s Dr. Creekistan, ABD (All But Dissertation). .




10. My friend and co-worker, Aimee the Red, is running in the Country Music Marathon in Nashville this Saturday. This is her second marathon. Last year she ran in the Rock-n-Roll Marathon in San Diego. We tease that she’s going to have to find a “Classical Marathon” or “Hip-Hop Marathon” for next year. Good luck Red!



11. We're thinking about summer vacation now. How about a nice trip to Disney World? I've never been! But for sure we're going to drive to my hometown of Omaha, Nebraska to visit friends and family there. Anyone from Omaha? Watch out, 'cause here we come!



12. I found out that an old friend of me and my husbands is a professor of music at Virginia Tech. We were able to connect with him again and he said the situation there at the school was the most difficult thing he's ever had to deal with in his short time of teaching. We gave him our support.




13. Every evening when I come home from work, I notice that the “Siding Gnomes” have visited. I have never seen the gnomes myself, but cedar shingles are creeping up my house. Hopefully in the next few weeks the project will be done. And I’ll have to thank and pay the Gnomes.

Explanation #2

Great, the dog found another frozen mole. Good dog!

Our dog, Bandit, is now one year old. At least we think so, since we’re not sure of his actual birthday. We’ve decided to make it Valentines Day.

This is his first winter in Creekistan, as well as his first winter ever. He did really well staying warm and enjoying himself. We suspect that on the coldest of nights, he made his way into the abandoned Bee House and kept warm among the old clothes. We’re pretty sure because he keeps dragging articles of clothing onto our front porch--shirts, jackets, pants, shoes, and long underwear.

He’s kept himself busy by digging for moles. We know this because he brings them onto our front porch too! They are frozen and dead. But he likes them anyway.

The Final Stinkbag Update

The dog warden is going to make a stop at our place to pick up Stinkbag. We decided that she has too many issues for us to take on right now. For one, she stinks, which leads me to believe that there may be something wrong with her. Secondly, Bandit doesn't like her. She's too old and grouchy to hang out with a 1 year old, energetic dog.

Since the dog warden may arrive when we are gone, we had to describe to him which dog to take. It shouldn't be difficult: the old, stinky, funny-looking female dog.

Don't forget to fumagate the truck when you're done!

Stinkbag Update

Stinkbag, the dog, is still around. I finally was able to stomach being close enough to find out that Stinkbag is a girl! Me and my husband have the tendency to take on animals that are in their final stage of life. We’re thinking of keeping her.

The Return of the Dead Squirrel

Our dog, Bandit, has found a new toy: A dead squirrel. I don't think he killed it--it was probably roadkill. We noticed it the a week ago when my son was about to get in the car.

"Uh, Mom, there's a dead thing here."

So I backed up the car so he could get in without stepping on the dead thing.

Then it was on the porch. Then it was not. Then it was back on the porch. I almost stepped on it. Then it was gone. A few days later, it appeared on the back porch. No one wants to pick it up and throw it away or bury it.

It might as well be a pink elephant. Granted, a small, dead pink elephant. But on nonetheless.

We're going to have a big bomb fire tonight. We'll make it into a funeral pyre, as long as we can find the dead squirrel.