Rubble Watch: The Final Chapter

For a couple of years, I had been perplexed about a homestead about 2 miles down the road from my Creekistan home. For no apparent reason, they had several truckloads of concrete rubble piled, somewhat neatly, in their front yard. Every time we drove by, we wondered what they were going to do with the awful-looking mess. And for a couple of years, nothing happened. Weeds would grow around the piles. Snow would cover the piles.

Now, the mystery is solved. They have recently moved the piles to the creek behind the house, using the rubble to reinforce the banks of the creek as well as to make a shallow bridge across the creek. They do have some extra rubble, just piled up nearby, but at least its not right in front of the house and in the front yard.

Now if I could only get rid of the detritus left by the former residents of Creekistan . . . .

Super Sub To the Rescue: Chapter 1 - Do Your Homework

I've only been a substitute teacher for a very short while, but I have some observations and suggestions for anyone out there who are subbing or just interested in my thoughts on the topic. 

• Directions - Know where to go and how to get there. It would be a good idea to have a map, directions, or pre-program the GPS so that you can be sure to find the location of all the schools you might be going to. 

 

• Different schools have different start times. Keep a list of all the different start times and perhaps a chart that says about how long it will take for you to get there. That way you'll know when to leave the house and when you're expected to show up. 

 

• Be prepared - Wardrobe. Have an outfit or two ready to go at a moment's notice. I'm not just saying that you should have a shirt and pants on a hanger. It would be better if you had the shirt, pants, socks, shoes, and jewelry all ready to go. 

 

• Be prepared - Breakfast. I usually won't have time to make breakfast for myself. I'm low carb, so cereal is out of the question. However, I've found a good alternative: Kroger's brand of healthy foods, the "Simple Truth" brand, has an excellent protein bar. At about $1 per bar, it's an inexpensive and healthier way to have a meal on the go. 

 

• Be prepared - Lunch. You never know what will be on the school lunch menu for the day. So it's much better to bring your own lunch. I try to have some pre-packed lunchbox items ready to grab quickly. Since I already pack for the other members of the family, I'll just assume that I have to pack for myself. If I don't have to sub on a day, that's one less lunch I'll have to make tomorrow. But, just in case, have an emergency $5 bill in your wallet at all times for the specific purpose of buying lunch. 

 

• Briefcase - I have a bag where I keep all my sub materials. This includes any school handbooks, notepaper, activities, pens, pencils, candy, emergency snack, and anything else you can think that you'll need. This bag is dedicated to this task so that it's not overloaded with stuff that I won't need on the job. 

 If you have any suggestions about how to be ready in case that early-morning phone call comes and you have to leave the house in a hurry, please comment! I'm always looking to help other and to be a better sub.

Grammar Police PowerPoint Template

You asked for it, you got it! If I eventually get hired as a language arts teacher, I plan on using this in my classroom. My fellow education students loved it so much, they wanted the template. So here it is, free for the whole world to use!

Click here to download!

Herbed Oven Dried Tomatoes

Oven dried tomatoes remind me of sun-dried tomatoes, except you can make them at home and they don't cost much at all! Since I can't seem to grow tomatoes myself (I have a brown thumb), I usually get a lot of tomatoes from friends and neighbors who always seem to grow too many! Another trick is to go to the local farmers market and ask for a discount on a bunch of the tomatoes rejected by buyers. They don't have to look pretty for you to make this recipe, just cut off the ugly parts and you're ready to go!

You'll need:

• A lot of tomatoes! - Washed and ready to cut.
• Olive oil - enough to coat all of the sliced tomatoes
• Garlic - 2 - 3 cloves finely chopped (more or less depending on how much you like garlic)
• Basil (and/or other Italian herbs) - dried would be okay but fresh-sliced leaves are better; use enough to get a good flavor over all of your sliced tomatoes
• Balsamic vinegar

Directions:

• Preheat oven to a low temperature: around 200 degrees.
• Slice the tomatoes somewhat thinly, less than a 1/2 inch thick.
• Toss the sliced tomatoes into a big bowl with the garlic, olive oil, and herbs.
• Place the tomatoes in a shallow pan in one layer - you could use a cookie sheet if you line it with foil and turn up the edges so that the juices don't drip over the edge.
• Sprinkle with the balsamic vinegar.
• Bake in the low-temp oven for at least 5 hours; until they are dried out but not burned. Some recipes out there suggest 8-10 hours! Just be sure to keep an eye on them.
• You can store them in mason jars with a little more olive oil. I don't know how long you can store them--but if you keep then in the fridge, I'm sure they'll last a long time.

Use them on pasta, on bread, or with recipes that call for sun-dried tomatoes. I'm looking forward to trying them in a hummus recipe this year.

Kale Chips on a Griddle

I make kale chips on my griddle. To me, it's very simple; I improvise when I make them. But I've had several people ask (and beg) for the recipe, so I'll try to write down how I make them. Results may vary.

1. Heat up the griddle. I think I set the heat to about 350 degrees.

2. Wash the kale and remove any hard stems. Keep the pieces of kale as large as possible.

3. Coat the kale with olive oil. For this, I have a special Pampered Chef device: a Kitchen Spritzer. I also put a little olive oil on the griddle to keep the kale from sticking.

4. Lightly salt the kale--I use sea salt.

5. Place kale on the griddle in one layer. Overcrowding will steam the kale rather than crisp it.

6. Keep an eye on the kale. When they start to dry and change color, turn them over. After I turn them all over, I usually turn off the griddle. This way I don't accidentally overcook the chips (aka burn them!).

After they are good and crispy, you should be able to pick up a piece and it should maintain it's shape. Put on a plate to serve. Serve immediately--I can't imagine that they would store very well.

Sometimes I use this recipe to create a kale chip bed for serving steak or chicken.

Rubble Watch Update - 2012

Jeez, I'm down to just an annual post on my blog?!?!?!? I have to do better than that! The Rubbles down the street have a purpose for some (not all!) of the rubble. It seems that, in their spare time, they use a bulldozer to push some of the rubble around. The purpose of this activity is create a rubble/land bridge across the creek running behind their house. Okay, not a bad plan; as long as they put a culvert pipe under the rubble for the water to flow through. Otherwise, they've made a dam. But what they are going to do with the other several tons of rubble remains to be seen. Fortunately, the rubble has been sitting so long that it's created an environment perfect for weeds and grasses growing well protected from the danger of being mowed. You almost can't tell that it used to be pieces of a building.

Rubble Watch Update #4: Year Two

I must be really busy because it's been almost 1 year since I blogged! I guess if much happened down at the Rubbles I would have had something to talk about.

Alas, no.

The rubble is still there and it hasn't been touched. It may seem less unattractive at this time because so many weeds have grown around the long bands of rubble that you don't see much of actual chunks of cement and debris.

So, after over a year, there is no word as to what the rubble is for. Your guess is as good as mine.

See? We're Not Alone In Our Craziness

Check out the site - http://farmfolly.com/ - They too have had the same issues as we have, including the bees, the overgrown trash heaps, and Chickens! Perhaps there should be a support group for crazy people like us.

Rubble Watch 2010 - Update 3

Nothing new to report. The mounds of brick and cement rubble are still there, undisturbed. However, I have a new theory as to its presence:

Many times in movies or stories one hears about the search for treasure. In the mega-movie Avatar, humans were willing to destroy an entire culture for the search of Unobtainiam. In Akira Kurosawa's movie, The Hidden Fortress, the characters are searching for gold hidden inside sticks.

I propose that there may be some kind treasure hidden somewhere in the rubble of whatever building the debris came from. What is the legend behind this search? What do they hope to find?

I guess I could dig deep into this story and get to the bottom of the rubble, but the mystery is far more fun.

Rubble Watch 2010 - Update 2

Just in case those who are following the intriguing mystery of what my neighbors are doing with all the rubble in their yard, I thought I'd make a rough drawing. As you can see, relative to the house and the car, the piles are rather large. No, the car is not ON the pile, it's parked between the two piles lining the driveway.

The mystery continues. So far, no new rubble has been added to the piles, nor have the existing piles been moved.

More details whenever they become available.

Rubble Watch 2010

Down the street from where I live, there is a homestead that has me puzzled. This is the same neighbor that used to have a wrestling ring in their front yard. That was recently taken down.

In the wrestling ring's place now stands piles and piles of rubble. Rubble that they had trucked in from somewhere else--perhaps the old high school that was just demolished. Piles of broken bricks and pieces of cement line the long driveway on either side. Rubble is piled next to the house, where the wresting used to take place.

What is the purpose of this rubble? We wonder that every time we drive by. One guess is that they are going to build a bridge over the creek that runs behind their house.

For now, we are watching and wondering. If you have a guess, please leave it in the comments. I'll be reporting on this situation whenever something new happens.

Poem: Mom’s Pasta Spoon

She stood at the steaming stove
with the pasta spoon in her hand,
ready to sink its black teeth into the
spaghetti.

We were starving for her
to lift those cooked threads with the sleek tool
and serve us the supper we waited all day for:
The spaghetti, the sauce, the hunger –
gone.


=========
Poem for Mother's Day
and for
Thursday Poets Rally

Wishing for Sonnet’s Death

The poetic form of the old sonnet,
Seems so useless and very out of date
No more do girls wear a fancy bonnet
And such should be iambic poems fate.

This savage poem cuts the brain for meat,
It pierces with sharp rhymes o’r fire to fry.
And dances ‘round to words that fiercely beat,
Until the life has left the page to die.

So throw the worthless prose into the fire
Stoke the flames to make it glow bright and hot
Chant until you’re dizzy with desire
Stab its tiny heart so it will live not.

We wish for death upon restrictive lines,
and forcing fourteen phrases into rhymes.

================

This is being posted for Thursday Poets Rally, Week 16

A Brief Moment By The Fire


There was a brief moment
by the fire
when the two women
considered the unthinkable:

They wondered what would happen
if they tore off their constricting
dresses, corsets, underthings,
and tossed them in.

They would find themselves
standing there naked,
free,
watching the warm light
glow with the fabric fuel,
and ashes of their former life
flit up on the rising heat,
only to be stopped
by the ceiling.


========
This is my first work for the Poetry Prompt MEME. I hope to keep participating and keep writing poetry.

I have just decided to join the meme: Thursday Poets’ Rally. Thanks to Jingle, I've already received the following awards!

April Love, April Shower Award

Your Blog Rocks Award

You Are A Gem Award

Merry Wishes Award

Blessing YOU Award

Poem: Returning to the Scene of a Murdered Metaphor

by Amy the Black


Your lungs are what I saw first, displayed on the window, those disgusting balloons gasping at the stale air.

Then your liver, sitting at the bar, drinking another cheap beer—the brand I can’t stand.

Your stomach sat at the table, reading a digest and devouring a nauseous meal.

Your eyes were playing pool, chalking up their sticks and trying to sink the eight ball.

Your dick was on the floor, flopping desperately like a fish out of water.

Your heart was lounging by the radio, tapping a ventricle to the beat of a song I’d rather forget.

But what I hated most were your guts, strung up on the ceiling, and clinging to the chandelier, oozing excrement onto the floor.

You were in pieces, and I was the suspect, so I turned a cold shoulder and ran.

Amy the Black’s 5 Fall Fashion Tips

For some odd reason, I’ve been a little more in-tune with the fashion trends lately. Perhaps it’s because I am a “non-traditional student” (aka old person going back to school, which they should have done along time ago) and see a lot of the styles that young adults are wearing, and that if I want to camouflage myself in the student body, I have to be more aware. I could also be that I really like the styles that are popular these days. So when I saw a blogging contest through TwitterMoms.com, it thought it wouldn’t be difficult for me to participate!
So, here are my 5 Must-Haves, and Fashion Tips. If, for some strange reason, you would like to buy something for me, I will be more than happy to provide you with my full Amazon gift list. Unfortunately, a new clothes dryer is not on the list—but if you want to buy me one, we can arrange it!

1. The most important thing to remember this Fall/Winter is that plaid is back! I like plaid! But I don’t like to see entire outfits, full dresses, etc. covered in the stuff. What I do like is highlights, accessories, and small hints of plaid. I especially like the combination of the shirred jacket with plaid (on top right-hand side of photo).



2. Scarves. And not just the kind to keep your neck warm during winter, I’m talking about long, decorative scarves that one could even wear during the summer. I bet my European friends are snickering right now, because they’ve known about the importance of scarves for a while. I’m glad that Americans are finally catching on.


3. For me, Black is always going to be The New Black. What doesn’t go with black? Nothing. But I’m glad that black is still a very popular color for your wardrobe. It helps tame brighter colors, can help you go from office to party in no time, and is practically timeless. If you wear a relatively nice black outfit, you look more professional. People will take you more seriously.


4. One tip that I love: Multiple lengths of necklaces worn at the same time! Whew, what a relief to not have to decide what necklace to wear. Just put them all on! Within reason, of course. Or you could purchase one necklace that satisfies the inner 1980s Madonna in all of us women. Actually, the trend is more of a long, cascading chains.


5. Messenger Bags for both men and women. Now we can all share in a utilitarian object to help us all carry those items around with us all the time. Now I don’t feel so bad asking a rather fashionable guy, “Where did you get that fabulous bag?” and for him to tell me without feeling embarrassed. But now I have to fight over messenger bags with my husband.


I hope this gives you some ideas of what to buy me. And if you need more ideas, check out http://www.shopsmartlookfab.com/.

9/11 Remembrance: Keithroy Maynard and Amazing Grace

I have learned recently that the hymn, “Amazing Grace” was written around 1770 by John Newton, a former slave ship captain, who, after being converted to Christianity, reflected upon his former occupation and felt sorrow for what he had done.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

John Newton, an American working as an English slave ship captain, was a wretch. He worked in an industry that brought millions of captured Africans to the New World so that plantation owners and merchants could make fortunes and claim that they alone built America. But it was really those slaves—packed nearly 600 in each ship, sold to masters, and forced to work for those masters—that actually did the hard work.

John Newton didn’t convert to Christianity and immediately forgo working in the slave industry. He didn’t convert because of an overwhelming guilt for buying and selling humans into slavery. He converted because he was glad that God spared his life after a scary storm at sea.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved.

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

Millions of slaves were brought to the New World. A million died en-route. John Newton made several trips from the Americas to England to Africa and back—a worker in the triangle of the buying of and selling of Africans and slave-made products sold to Europeans. Many of those slaves were brought to the United States to work in tobacco fields, but even more were brought to the Caribbean to work in sugar cane fields.

It was “Amazing Grace” that played at Keithroy Marcellus Maynard’s firefighters funeral on June 11, 2005, four years after his death on September 11, 2001. Keithroy was one of the many firefighters that responded to the planes crashing into the World Trade Center towers. Most importantly, he was one of 12 black firefighters who lost their life that day.

Keithroy’s journey, which was cut short as he tried to save people from the disaster on that beautiful Tuesday morning, started and ended in Montserrat—a small island in the Caribbean. An island named by Christopher Columbus, settled by English plantation owners, and an island that has recently been devastated by an active volcano.

Keithroy was born in 1971 and grew up on that island until 1986, when his family, including his Mother, older brother Vernon, and twin brother, Kevin, immigrated to the United States. Keithroy became a naturalized citizen of the United States and became a New York City firefighter in 1999.

Engine Company 33, Keithroy’s unit, was one of the first called to the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, and Keithroy was with them. He never returned.

It wasn’t until four years later that Keithroy’s remains were identified by DNA and his family could finally bury him in his home country, Montserrat.

It’s been a long journey for Keithroy and his African ancesters—from captives, to cargo, to slaves, to freedom, to citizens, to firefighters who could, themselves, save poor wretches.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come.

'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

There is still time if you would like to participate in Project 2,996.

Previous 9/11 Remembrance

Amy the Black’s Momfinitions

I couldn’t resist want to let everyone know about my Funniest Five Momfinitions, as inspired by the post at Parents Connect. These definitions are not in any (respectable) dictionary, but are words that, when used in context, are recognizable to any parent.

Wigglebotomy – In the old days of frontier psychology, some doctors would cut into the skulls of mental patients, removing a part of the brain, with the hope of making the patient more docile. Now, mentally disturbed parents of toddlers can obtain the same level of brain dysfunction with the simple task of watching The Wiggles.

“Would you please turn off The Wiggles DVD and wipe the slobber off of
Mom’s chin? It looks like she got a Wigglebotomy this afternoon.”

P.R.F.I. – An acronym for Poop Related Fart Incident. This phrase was inspired by George Carlin’s PRBI (Puke-Related Burp Incident), but takes on a different (and messier) meaning. This is what happens when you, or a child, misinterpret the body’s signal to go number 2 as just a release of gas, and instead, a surprise happens.

“Sweetie, can you get your son a fresh pair of underwear? He just had a
PRFI.”

Happy-Happy-Fun-Place – This is what used to be referred to as Baby Jail until we decided to give it a more politically-correct name. This phrase refers to an enclosed place set aside in the home or yard where a young child can safely and securely play, sleep, or scream.

“Please put my little darling in the Happy-Happy-Fun-Place before she sticks a
fork in the socket.”

Poop Taco – This term is what we lovingly call a dirty butt wipe after it has been used and folded to resemble a Mexican food item. Unlike the food item, this is not something you want to go through a drive-thru to obtain.

“Oh look, that diaper mess created at least 3 Poop Tacos before it was completely
clean.”

Magic Saave – This term is a catch-all for all the different diaper ointments, oils, and gels used on the behinds of children (and sometimes even adults). It’s a much more pleasant way of referring to those types of treatments and seems to have a positive subliminal effect when used on the child.

“Don’t worry sweetie. I’ll put Magic Saave on your red bottom and I’ll feel
better in no time.”