Tales from Creekistan

Rubble Watch Update #4: Year Two

2011-09-08T07:03:00.000-07:00

I must be really busy because it's been almost 1 year since I blogged! I guess if much happened down at the Rubbles I would have had something to talk about.

Alas, no.

The rubble is still there and it hasn't been touched. It may seem less unattractive at this time because so many weeds have grown around the long bands of rubble that you don't see much of actual chunks of cement and debris.

So, after over a year, there is no word as to what the rubble is for. Your guess is as good as mine.

See? We're Not Alone In Our Craziness

2010-09-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

Check out the site - http://farmfolly.com/ - They too have had the same issues as we have, including the bees, the overgrown trash heaps, and Chickens! Perhaps there should be a support group for crazy people like us.

Rubble Watch 2010 - Update 3

2010-09-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

Nothing new to report. The mounds of brick and cement rubble are still there, undisturbed. However, I have a new theory as to its presence:

Many times in movies or stories one hears about the search for treasure. In the mega-movie Avatar, humans were willing to destroy an entire culture for the search of Unobtainiam. In Akira Kurosawa's movie, The Hidden Fortress, the characters are searching for gold hidden inside sticks.

I propose that there may be some kind treasure hidden somewhere in the rubble of whatever building the debris came from. What is the legend behind this search? What do they hope to find?

I guess I could dig deep into this story and get to the bottom of the rubble, but the mystery is far more fun.

Rubble Watch 2010 - Update 2

2010-09-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Just in case those who are following the intriguing mystery of what my neighbors are doing with all the rubble in their yard, I thought I'd make a rough drawing. As you can see, relative to the house and the car, the piles are rather large. No, the car is not ON the pile, it's parked between the two piles lining the driveway.

The mystery continues. So far, no new rubble has been added to the piles, nor have the existing piles been moved.

More details whenever they become available.

Rubble Watch 2010

2010-08-31T08:25:00.001-07:00

Down the street from where I live, there is a homestead that has me puzzled. This is the same neighbor that used to have a wrestling ring in their front yard. That was recently taken down.

In the wrestling ring's place now stands piles and piles of rubble. Rubble that they had trucked in from somewhere else--perhaps the old high school that was just demolished. Piles of broken bricks and pieces of cement line the long driveway on either side. Rubble is piled next to the house, where the wresting used to take place.

What is the purpose of this rubble? We wonder that every time we drive by. One guess is that they are going to build a bridge over the creek that runs behind their house.

For now, we are watching and wondering. If you have a guess, please leave it in the comments. I'll be reporting on this situation whenever something new happens.

Poem: Mom’s Pasta Spoon

2010-05-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

She stood at the steaming stove
with the pasta spoon in her hand,
ready to sink its black teeth into the
spaghetti.

We were starving for her
to lift those cooked threads with the sleek tool
and serve us the supper we waited all day for:
The spaghetti, the sauce, the hunger –
gone.

=========
Poem for Mother's Day
and for
Thursday Poets Rally

Wishing for Sonnet’s Death

2010-04-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

The poetic form of the old sonnet,
Seems so useless and very out of date
No more do girls wear a fancy bonnet
And such should be iambic poems fate.

This savage poem cuts the brain for meat,
It pierces with sharp rhymes o’r fire to fry.
And dances ‘round to words that fiercely beat,
Until the life has left the page to die.

So throw the worthless prose into the fire
Stoke the flames to make it glow bright and hot
Chant until you’re dizzy with desire
Stab its tiny heart so it will live not.

We wish for death upon restrictive lines,
and forcing fourteen phrases into rhymes.

================

This is being posted for Thursday Poets Rally, Week 16

2010-04-27T10:06:00.000-07:00

A Brief Moment By The Fire

There was a brief moment
by the fire
when the two women
considered the unthinkable:

They wondered what would happen
if they tore off their constricting
dresses, corsets, underthings,
and tossed them in.

They would find themselves
standing there naked,
free,
watching the warm light
glow with the fabric fuel,
and ashes of their former life
flit up on the rising heat,
only to be stopped
by the ceiling.

========
This is my first work for the Poetry Prompt MEME. I hope to keep participating and keep writing poetry.

2010-04-26T05:27:00.000-07:00

I have just decided to join the meme: Thursday Poets’ Rally. Thanks to Jingle, I've already received the following awards!

April Love, April Shower Award

Your Blog Rocks Award

You Are A Gem Award

Merry Wishes Award

Blessing YOU Award

Poem: Returning to the Scene of a Murdered Metaphor

2010-03-09T07:24:00.000-08:00

by Amy the Black

Your lungs are what I saw first, displayed on the window, those disgusting balloons gasping at the stale air.

Then your liver, sitting at the bar, drinking another cheap beer—the brand I can’t stand.

Your stomach sat at the table, reading a digest and devouring a nauseous meal.

Your eyes were playing pool, chalking up their sticks and trying to sink the eight ball.

Your dick was on the floor, flopping desperately like a fish out of water.

Your heart was lounging by the radio, tapping a ventricle to the beat of a song I’d rather forget.

But what I hated most were your guts, strung up on the ceiling, and clinging to the chandelier, oozing excrement onto the floor.

You were in pieces, and I was the suspect, so I turned a cold shoulder and ran.

Amy the Black’s 5 Fall Fashion Tips

2009-09-18T23:01:00.000-07:00

For some odd reason, I’ve been a little more in-tune with the fashion trends lately. Perhaps it’s because I am a “non-traditional student” (aka old person going back to school, which they should have done along time ago) and see a lot of the styles that young adults are wearing, and that if I want to camouflage myself in the student body, I have to be more aware. I could also be that I really like the styles that are popular these days. So when I saw a blogging contest through TwitterMoms.com, it thought it wouldn’t be difficult for me to participate!
So, here are my 5 Must-Haves, and Fashion Tips. If, for some strange reason, you would like to buy something for me, I will be more than happy to provide you with my full Amazon gift list. Unfortunately, a new clothes dryer is not on the list—but if you want to buy me one, we can arrange it!

1. The most important thing to remember this Fall/Winter is that plaid is back! I like plaid! But I don’t like to see entire outfits, full dresses, etc. covered in the stuff. What I do like is highlights, accessories, and small hints of plaid. I especially like the combination of the shirred jacket with plaid (on top right-hand side of photo).

2. Scarves. And not just the kind to keep your neck warm during winter, I’m talking about long, decorative scarves that one could even wear during the summer. I bet my European friends are snickering right now, because they’ve known about the importance of scarves for a while. I’m glad that Americans are finally catching on.

3. For me, Black is always going to be The New Black. What doesn’t go with black? Nothing. But I’m glad that black is still a very popular color for your wardrobe. It helps tame brighter colors, can help you go from office to party in no time, and is practically timeless. If you wear a relatively nice black outfit, you look more professional. People will take you more seriously.

4. One tip that I love: Multiple lengths of necklaces worn at the same time! Whew, what a relief to not have to decide what necklace to wear. Just put them all on! Within reason, of course. Or you could purchase one necklace that satisfies the inner 1980s Madonna in all of us women. Actually, the trend is more of a long, cascading chains.

5. Messenger Bags for both men and women. Now we can all share in a utilitarian object to help us all carry those items around with us all the time. Now I don’t feel so bad asking a rather fashionable guy, “Where did you get that fabulous bag?” and for him to tell me without feeling embarrassed. But now I have to fight over messenger bags with my husband.

I hope this gives you some ideas of what to buy me. And if you need more ideas, check out http://www.shopsmartlookfab.com/.

9/11 Remembrance: Keithroy Maynard and Amazing Grace

2009-09-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

I have learned recently that the hymn, “Amazing Grace” was written around 1770 by John Newton, a former slave ship captain, who, after being converted to Christianity, reflected upon his former occupation and felt sorrow for what he had done.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

John Newton, an American working as an English slave ship captain, was a wretch. He worked in an industry that brought millions of captured Africans to the New World so that plantation owners and merchants could make fortunes and claim that they alone built America. But it was really those slaves—packed nearly 600 in each ship, sold to masters, and forced to work for those masters—that actually did the hard work.

John Newton didn’t convert to Christianity and immediately forgo working in the slave industry. He didn’t convert because of an overwhelming guilt for buying and selling humans into slavery. He converted because he was glad that God spared his life after a scary storm at sea.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved.

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

Millions of slaves were brought to the New World. A million died en-route. John Newton made several trips from the Americas to England to Africa and back—a worker in the triangle of the buying of and selling of Africans and slave-made products sold to Europeans. Many of those slaves were brought to the United States to work in tobacco fields, but even more were brought to the Caribbean to work in sugar cane fields.

It was “Amazing Grace” that played at Keithroy Marcellus Maynard’s firefighters funeral on June 11, 2005, four years after his death on September 11, 2001. Keithroy was one of the many firefighters that responded to the planes crashing into the World Trade Center towers. Most importantly, he was one of 12 black firefighters who lost their life that day.

Keithroy’s journey, which was cut short as he tried to save people from the disaster on that beautiful Tuesday morning, started and ended in Montserrat—a small island in the Caribbean. An island named by Christopher Columbus, settled by English plantation owners, and an island that has recently been devastated by an active volcano.

Keithroy was born in 1971 and grew up on that island until 1986, when his family, including his Mother, older brother Vernon, and twin brother, Kevin, immigrated to the United States. Keithroy became a naturalized citizen of the United States and became a New York City firefighter in 1999.

Engine Company 33, Keithroy’s unit, was one of the first called to the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, and Keithroy was with them. He never returned.

It wasn’t until four years later that Keithroy’s remains were identified by DNA and his family could finally bury him in his home country, Montserrat.

It’s been a long journey for Keithroy and his African ancesters—from captives, to cargo, to slaves, to freedom, to citizens, to firefighters who could, themselves, save poor wretches.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come.

'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

There is still time if you would like to participate in Project 2,996.

Previous 9/11 Remembrance

Amy the Black’s Momfinitions

2009-07-20T12:56:00.000-07:00

I couldn’t resist want to let everyone know about my Funniest Five Momfinitions, as inspired by the post at Parents Connect. These definitions are not in any (respectable) dictionary, but are words that, when used in context, are recognizable to any parent.

Wigglebotomy – In the old days of frontier psychology, some doctors would cut into the skulls of mental patients, removing a part of the brain, with the hope of making the patient more docile. Now, mentally disturbed parents of toddlers can obtain the same level of brain dysfunction with the simple task of watching The Wiggles.

“Would you please turn off The Wiggles DVD and wipe the slobber off of
Mom’s chin? It looks like she got a Wigglebotomy this afternoon.”

P.R.F.I. – An acronym for Poop Related Fart Incident. This phrase was inspired by George Carlin’s PRBI (Puke-Related Burp Incident), but takes on a different (and messier) meaning. This is what happens when you, or a child, misinterpret the body’s signal to go number 2 as just a release of gas, and instead, a surprise happens.

“Sweetie, can you get your son a fresh pair of underwear? He just had a
PRFI.”

Happy-Happy-Fun-Place – This is what used to be referred to as Baby Jail until we decided to give it a more politically-correct name. This phrase refers to an enclosed place set aside in the home or yard where a young child can safely and securely play, sleep, or scream.

“Please put my little darling in the Happy-Happy-Fun-Place before she sticks a
fork in the socket.”

Poop Taco – This term is what we lovingly call a dirty butt wipe after it has been used and folded to resemble a Mexican food item. Unlike the food item, this is not something you want to go through a drive-thru to obtain.

“Oh look, that diaper mess created at least 3 Poop Tacos before it was completely
clean.”

Magic Saave – This term is a catch-all for all the different diaper ointments, oils, and gels used on the behinds of children (and sometimes even adults). It’s a much more pleasant way of referring to those types of treatments and seems to have a positive subliminal effect when used on the child.

“Don’t worry sweetie. I’ll put Magic Saave on your red bottom and I’ll feel
better in no time.”

Why, it's Whyville!

2009-02-13T20:08:00.000-08:00

What can your kids do when they're at home on a snow day? Well, there are a lot of things really. But one that my family has discovered is Whyville.net.

Whyville is a kid-friendly online community where kids can explore, play educational games, chat with other citizens, and just have a lot of fun.

It's free! Of course, if you want to spend real money, you can buy "Pearls," a currency in Whyville which will allow you to purchase many things. But if you want to go a more economical way, you can learn how to earn "Clams." There are many ways to earn Clams and increase your salary.

Kids have a great time changing the way they look in Whyville. You can purchase a new hairdo, a hat, a funny nose, or even a t-shirt. The possibilities are endless! My son has discovered a way to make himself look like a cat.

Is it really safe? Yes! First of all, before anyone in Whyville can chat, they have to have a signed permission slip sent to Whyville. Once the permission slip is received, a short test is necessary which helps teach what forms of activities are not permitted in Whyville. Lastly, there is a reporting rule breakers quickly and easily. I should also mention that there are monitors that check around to see what's going on.

I say that it's fun for children, but I've had a lot of fun too! And I've learned a few things along the way.

Try it out yourself and see. If you think it's good for your child, introduce it to them. It's available at Whyville.net. My username is AmyBlack. See if you can find me!

Facts About Whyville

Whyville is a virtual world where you can travel to different places, talk to numerous people, and learn valuable information.
Whyville is based in Pasadena, California, but we have citizens who are from all over the world.
Whyville was started in 1999, and already has over 4 million members! Each day around 1,000 more join!
Our citizens are usually age 8-15.
Whyville generates between 40 and 50 million page views a month. Wow!
And last but not least, all of this is free! Anyone can join Whyville for the low price of $0!

Photos of the 2009 Ice Storm

2009-02-07T09:15:00.000-08:00

We're finally melting! But here are photos that I finally had time (and electric) to upload them.

^My nemesis tree, a Black Walnut, dropped another branch on my car. This time, it didn't do any damage. But it's getting closer to becoming a stump unless it stops throwing branches and walnuts at me.

^ As you can see, everything was covered with white snow and encased in ice. Sure it was beautiful, but dangerous too. Branches and big chunks of ice were falling everywhere. Every so often, you could hear something that sounded like a chandelier crashing to the floor or a gunshot going off as a tree finally broke in half and fell.

It was very dark at night.

My Happy Place

2009-01-22T07:13:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I have a very unusual Happy Place. You know what I’m talking about: when you’re just about to get a shot, you’re in labor, or you’re trying not to think about something unpleasant—you try to get your mind into another place, preferably a pleasant place, so that you don’t feel so bad.
When I was considering natural childbirth, I had to come up with a Happy Place. I considered many different spots—the playground of my youth, a beautiful overlook, an imaginary place—but those didn’t really hold my attention more than Las Vegas.
Las Vegas is where I got married. We had a great time. I’ve visited there a couple of times and each time I enjoy it more. I love the lights and the sounds and the betting and the winning (not the losing so much, but I keep it reasonable.) So, that’s my happy place—in a casino.

There are a few times when I need a reminder of the fun I had in Vegas. There’s not much around here in Ohio, since casino gambling is not legal. I’ve gone to Indiana’s silly “riverboat” gambling, where they actually built a lake to float the casino on so that they can be legal. It helps to go.

But way out here, in Creekistan, I sometimes rely on online places. Don’t get me wrong, I do not by any means have a gambling problem. I have yet to actually spend money online. But there are some places that satisfy my itch. Pogo.com is one, as well as Facebook's poker application. I’ve heard of others, like Betfair where you can play poker, but I’m not sure I can sign up for that.

Short of actually flying to Las Vegas, I guess I have to keep visiting my Happy Place in my mind or virtually, especially during these long, cold months.

Strangers on my Porch

2009-01-19T07:02:00.001-08:00

The chickens woke me up this morning. No, not the rooster, the hens! They were carrying on. Last time I heard them like that, two dogs were trying to get into their pen and succeeded, killing two hens: Shanigha and Oprah. This morning, I didn't hesitate to check. Since the dog has been in the house at night, sleeping in the warm, he followed me out. I was only in my jammies.

Two smaller dogs were waiting for me. One was on my porch, a beagle, trying to eat Bandit's food. The other, a black shepherd mix, was running around, upsetting the chickens.

The flock was okay, my extra security held. But now Bandit is outside, playing with the dogs. He's too friendly to keep them away! When I go out to see if there are any eggs and give the chickens non-frozen water, we'll see if the dogs are still around.

Boxing Day

2008-12-26T11:57:00.001-08:00

For most of us Americans, “Boxing Day” is a Canadian holiday noted on our calendars as the day after Christmas. I don’t think many Americans know what it is. My interpretation is that it’s a day where you give gifts to the less fortunate members of society—you box up some unneeded items and donate them to the needy.

My friend took Boxing Day to a new level.

Let me back up a bit and tell you the Tale of Two Ovens. My oven hasn’t been working for a long time. Instead, I purchased a microwave/convention oven to do my baking. That was until earlier this month when it would no longer bake. I mentioned this to my friend who happens to have two ovens: one gas oven in her kitchen that came with the house she bought, and an electric oven hanging out in the garage, waiting to be installed into the kitchen. They were trying to use up the propane in the tank before they switched ovens.

She took pity on me and decided to give me her gas oven. Yipee! I can bake again! After the guys spent a good portion of Christmas Eve doing the oven switcheroo, I was baking with gas again.

I wish I could say the same for my friends. As my husband puts it, “No good deed goes unpunished.” On Christmas, they were going to bake a ham. But while their oven was pre-heating, it became apparent that mice had made a home somewhere inside and were now becoming crispy and—to say the least—smelly.

It wasn’t good timing for them. Grandma and Grandpa were flying into town to visit them. They had even invited us to come to dinner on Boxing Day. But would my friend give up because she didn’t have a working oven? No way! She took it as a personal challenge.

She made a box oven out of a cardboard box, foil, and wire hangers. She cooked biscuits in the box oven, heated with hot charcoal briquettes. She made other items on the stovetop. We had a wonderful dinner.

Now we feel bad that we took their working stove. I guess I’ll have to have them over for dinner!

Christmas Eve Eve Adventure

2008-12-26T11:57:00.000-08:00

Don’t ask me why, I’m not sure, but we went to visit my Mother-in-Law on Christmas Eve Eve. She lives about 2 hours away. So, we got her presents together, the children dressed and went to visit Grandma for a nice Honey Baked Ham sandwich lunch. After a nice afternoon, it started raining outside. We decided, at 4 pm, that it would be best to go home before it got dark. Besides, we wanted to go to our neighbors caroling party at 6.

Everyone else had that idea too.

The roads were a slippery, crowded mess. Some bridges, exit/entrance ramps, and overpasses were closed to allow salt trucks to do their jobs. Traffic was at a near standstill. We tried to take back roads, but they were backed up too.

Two hours later, we were still only a few miles away from our starting point, and we had a long way to go. After finally getting away from the traffic, we made our way outside of the city and slowly driving down a relatively lonely highway that follows the Ohio River. We took it easy and didn’t have any problems. I probably made some people mad because I refused to drive faster than 45 mph. It was still raining and the temp was at exactly freezing. I wasn’t going to take any chances, especially with the kids in the car.

After a brief hamburger pit stop, and stopping to get beer (an essential), we finally turned onto our road after driving for 5 ½ hours. I could just see me holding that beer in my nice warm living room at any time now. Forget about the party, they’ll understand why we just didn’t feel like going somewhere else.

I was slowly driving down our road, going “the back way” as we call it, since we normally don’t arrive from that direction. It’s a winding and twisting little road that goes pretty steep at places. I wasn’t too worried—I’d never had any problems before.

The last mile or so is probably the most steep. At some point, however, my car would not go up any further. In fact, after spinning my tires for a while, the car started going backward and sideways. Not good—there are steep drop offs.

We had to abandon our car and hoof it the final ½ mile climb to home. Fortunately, I was smart enough to stuff a small flashlight into my car and just happened to have an army duffel bag in my trunk. I also checked my emergency kit, but there wasn’t anything we needed. It wasn’t that cold, but we bundled up anyway. I was a little scared because I was wearing boots that are not practical for walking. So we packed some things into the duffel bag (including the beer!), locked up the car with a note on the windshield, and started up the steep road to our house.

It was slippery. We had to walk on the side of the road as much as we can. Some places we had to walk on the road because of the drop-off beside the road. I held my 3-year-old daughter’s hand and would not let go. We walked, in the dark. The kids were doing great. My husband gave commands, and I complained about my stupid boots.

Up ahead, we saw some lights. We were scared of encountering head-on traffic, so we found a spot where we could get safely off the road and wait for them to pass. But they didn’t move any more. So we walked some more. As we got closer to the stopped vehicle, we noticed it was the cinder truck. It was stuck, with one tire off the road and uncomfortably close to a drop-off. They were desperately trying to back the truck up, and it was not going anywhere except down into the mud. If it weren’t for a retaining pole, it would be doomed.

Good thing we didn’t try to drive my car up the road further—we would have had to stop anywhere—there was no getting around the stuck truck.

We made it home, safe, and tired. Thank goodness we got some Netflix in the mail.

I haven’t left the house since, and I got rid of the boots.

Are you an Undecided Voter? Here's Some Help!

2008-10-18T07:45:00.001-07:00

Okay, the debates are over. We have three more weeks of Presidential campaigning to go, and there is still talk about those 'undecided' voters. I thought I'd help out those people by giving them tools and methods they can use to help decide between McCain and Obama.

1. Flip a coin. This may sound really easy, but you have to chose who gets heads and who gets tails. Have a friend help you. Click Here.

2. I-Ching - In Asia, the I Ching (Book of Change) has been a basis for divination. Click Here.

3. Magic Eight Ball

4. Ouija Board

5. Go with Betting Odds

6. Bibliomancy - Bibliomancy is the practice of seeking spiritual insight by selecting a random passage from a Holy Book. Click Here.

7. Chat with a Psychic Robot

8. Ask a Child - You'll be surprised with how honest they are.

9. Cow Dump. Here in Creekistan, sometimes things get decided with the aid of a cow. Here's how: Divide up a small field in equal squares. Mark each square with a red or blue mark--one for McCain, one for Obama. Feed the cow, then let them onto the field. The winner is decided when the cow leaves a pile in one of those squares.

10. Go to VoteHelp - VoteHelp is a nonpartisan candidate calculator that compares your views to those of Barack Obama and John McCain.

Thursday Thirteen #97

2008-09-11T06:47:00.000-07:00

13 Things I remember from September 11, 2001

I wasn't at work long and a co-worker got a call from her mother that a plane hit one of the towers in New York City. She thought her mother was crazy.

I checked the internet and saw a one-sentance headline on my news site. It said something like "A passenger plane has flown into the World Trade Center.".

As news came in, people were trying to find out more. I wasn't able to get a live TV feed from the main channels in the US, but I was able to get the BBC..

People stood around my computer and watched, in horror, as the towers fell. Some people couldn't even watch. I was one of them. It just didn't seem real..

A television was brought into the lunchroom so people could watch the coverage.I tried to keep busy that day. I think I had some kind of important deadline. It was important to someone else, but nothing seemed very important to me..

My boss was on a business trip to LA. He was stuck there for a few days. I remember getting messages from him via his Blackberry..

A salesman for the company was supposed to make a sales call to the Pentagon that day--for some reason, he did not..

The president of the company contacted every company associate in New York and made sure everyone was okay. He then sent a message letting everyone else know..

I remember wanting to do something for the victims--like give blood or donate blankets. But as news filtered in, we realized that it wasn't necessary..

On my way to pick up my 1-year-old son, I was struck by the lack of airplanes in the sky. It was very strange. .

The weather and the sky that day was very beautiful, a juxtaposition to what was happening in New York..

We finally got into contact with our friends in New York to find out that they are okay. One, however, was in the mess in Manhattan, running away from the towers..

We didn't feel like doing much and went out to eat. We were the only people in the restaurant. Streets were empty and the mood was very grim. .

Thursday Thirteen #96

2008-09-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

Oh my, I just realized I haven’t posted anything up where in a while! So much has happened; I don’t know where to begin. So I’ll just do a Thursday thirteen update on Creekistan!

1. The chickens now have a permanent home. The wonderful Chicken Condo, built by my husband, is now occupied by 8 of the luckiest chickens in Creekistan. They don’t even know how good they’ve got it!

2. No, the rooster hasn’t crowed yet, and there are no eggs yet. But I’ve been giving the rooster crowing lessons and he seems to pay attention. But the egg laying . . . I’ll have to just let them learn that on their own.

3. We’ve been cleaning out the Bee House and making it a better place to store our stuff. Once we put sheets of plastic on the walls, pull out the carpet, and remove the drop-ceiling, it isn’t so bad! Except the fact that the whole house seems to lean to one side.

4. We officially own a truck now. Woo Hoo! Along with the chickens, the truck makes us official farmers!

5. My garden was a complete bust. Nothing has turned out except for a couple yellow squash and a couple cucumbers. Everything either got eaten by deer or just gave up. Oh, except for the turnips. They loved it there. But what exactly can I do with a bunch of turnips?

6. Some of my container gardens did okay—with herbs and some tomatoes. We think it’s because they get more sun than my big garden.

7. My living room hasn’t progressed for about a month. I need to work on it, but it’s too darn hot. I hope to have it done by Thanksgiving.

8. My 3 ½ year-old daughter has started preschool. She was excited and seems to really enjoy it.

9. My son started the 3rd grade. I’m always amazed by how much he has learned in 3-4 years of school. He’s already doing algebra, but he doesn’t know it!

10. I’ve started back to college. I’m taking a few classes—because I can! After putting my husband through until he got his Doctorate, I think I deserve some lernin’.

11. In the morning, we all hop into the car and drive to school. With both my kids in school, me in college, and my husband teaching, that means we are all in school.

12. For those of you curious, I’m taking Art History, a drawing class, an upper-level Ethics class, and Pilates. Oh, and I’m going to play in the Early Music Ensemble.

13. I’m loving every minute of it. Being away from home and learning (or re-learning) things has given me a wonderful opportunity a lot more “me” time.

Summer in Creekistan

2008-08-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

It’s been a very busy week or so. First, we’ve been trying to get the ever-growing chickens into their new home. As they have gotten older and bigger, it has been difficult to keep them in the temporary pen. But they seem to do okay as free-range chickens. However nice free-range sounds, it doesn’t provide them with the protection they need from predators. In fact, one morning we discovered the chickens scattered, hiding in buckets and under the house, and one missing. They’re not talking, but something scared them and took one away. We are down to eight.

My youngest niece and her friend decided at the last minute to go on a summer road trip to Ohio. Of course, they wanted to visit us in Creekistan and stayed for a few days. It was as lot of fun, even though no one had money to do anything. Who needs money when you can stay home and chase chickens around the yard and have huge campfires?

But the summer is beginning to end. Our neighbor’s pool is now freezing cold and the frogs have moved on. My son will start school in a week, and everyone else will start school in two weeks.

I love the Fall and wish it would go on until Spring. I’m not such a fan of Winter.

Thursday Thirteen #95

2008-08-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

13 Random Things

1. My daughter got accepted into preschool this week, the one on the campus of the university that my husband teaches for, as well as where I will be taking classes starting this fall.

2. Yes, you heard me right. I’m taking classes this fall. I’ll be a non-traditional student taking four classes this fall. I’m really excited about going back to school and getting out of the house during the day. So it’ll mean the whole family will be in school at the same time.

3. I got nominated and voted into the local Arts Council. I’m excited about helping make an impact in the arts community and helping children enjoy the arts. This council has been too focused on plays for children, and needs to expand to other forms of fine art and music. I hope to help with that.

4. The chicken house is nearly ready. It’s been taking my husband way too long, but he wants it to be nearly perfect and weatherproof. It’s practically blocking my front door, so I hope it can get moved soon.

5. The chickens are doing fine. The temporary pen hasn’t kept them in—they sneak out and become free range for half the day.

6. In the evening, they huddle together in a sideways Rubbermaid box under a plastic turtle shell-looking lid from an old sandbox. Works fine to keep them cool and protected from rain.

7. The chickens know that first thing in the morning, I make coffee and will be in the kitchen. So if they want attention, they find their way to the porch right off the kitchen and look for me.

8. So far it looks like we have 1 rooster and 8 hens. Not a bad ratio! We can’t have more than one rooster, so I’m happy that we won’t have to eliminate any chickens.

9. The other county fair is this week. This is the county where my son belongs to 4H. He’s still a Cloverbud, so he can’t bring an animal, but I had him do a bird feeder. He got a wonderful participation award.

10. We spent a few minutes at the fair talking to a rancher who has Alpacas. There are small, hairy camel-looking creatures. They actually are related to camels, and come from South America. They are beautiful! But I don’t think I’m ready for an alpaca yet.

11. Alpacas can spit up to 16 feet away.

12. My youngest niece from Omaha decided to go on a road trip with a friend and plans on visiting me this weekend. Looks like I’ll have to clean up!

13. My children were punished for not putting videos and DVDs away—they were banned from watching videos for 10 days. They didn’t really care. There’s too much else to do.

Thursday Thirteen #94

2008-07-31T08:03:00.000-07:00

Just a little bit of fun for this last day of July.

13 Sawyer Nicknames (you know, Sawyer from the TV show LOST)

1. Amy the Black = Rinse ‘N’ Repeat

2. My son = Avalanche

3. My daughter = Picasso

4. My husband = Professor

5. Bandit, the Dog = Jethro

6. Gracie the Cat = Ferdinand

7. Sneaky Chicken = Blonde

8. My Mother-In-Law = Spacebar

9. My Father-In-Law = Wilbur

10. My friend, Julie = Rumplestilskin

11. My friend, Drew = Capt. Lou Albino

12. John McCain = Munchkin

13. Barack Obama = Betty

Try it yourself!

Thursday Thirteen #93

2008-07-24T15:02:00.000-07:00

13 More Thursday Rants

1. My living room painting is not yet done. I'm putting off the sanding because it will be horrible! So I'm finding anything else that needs to be done instead.

2. My neighbor's big party to celebrate my husband finishing his doctorate was fun. Not as many people were able to attend as we had hoped, but those that did show up had a great time.

3. I had been hoping to enter a lot more crafts to the county fair this year. But I wasn't able to. Just hours before I was to drop everything off, I was able to create a Halloween decoration and a flower arrangement. I already had a photograph ready to enter.

4. I always complain how no one enters enough crafts at the fair. There were some categories that had no entries at all. I wish there was more competition--saying you won first prize on something may only mean you were the ONLY entry.

5. With that in mind, I got first prize on my Halloween decoration. (I was the only entrant.) My flower arrangement was pathetic compared to the other entries--Good for them! And my photograph was able to get first place in spite of fierce competition!

6. We went to the fair on the day of the Pig Scramble. It's a lot of fun--they put soap on the pig and the contestant's hands and arms. Contestants are supposed to not only catch a pig, but also put the into a specific pen. I feel sorry for the pigs, but they seem to be okay.

7. My daughter loves inflatable rides. Sure enough, at the fair there was a giant inflatable slide. KIds are allowed to climb up it and slide down two times. My daughter didn't care about the rules. Get gets to the top and jumps around for a while, refusing to slide down. My son had to grab her legs and force her down the slide. She immediately went back up. Two more times! Eventually I had to grab her.

8. I cannot even look at the "go around in a circle" rides, let alone actually ride them.

9. A black stray has come our way. She seemed okay, and we actually considered keeping her, until The Chicken Incident.

10. The Chicken Incident: Because the chickens are getting too big for their boxes but we don't have a pen yet, I made a makeshift pen for them. It is pretty safe and allows them to get out and about and scratch on the ground. They love it.

11. Moxy, the name I gave to the black stray, waited until our backs were turned and got into the pen. She was very fast. I was only able to find 5 dead chickens. But we were down to 10 from the original 24. We buried the found victims.

12. We called the Dog Warden to come pick up Moxy. As usual, the Dog Warden seems to be ignoring us, even when he says he'll be right out. "I'll be there in two hours." Two days later, nothing.

13. My husband found three more of the chicks' bodies. Seems our cat took advantage of the Chicken Incident and found and carried three of the small chicks up to our second-floor porch. How she managed, I don't know.

Two-Dozen Chicks: Cheep Cheep Cheep!

2008-07-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

The chickens just arrived. A friend's father brought them down from Columbus. Twenty-four of them! They are chicks about 1 - 3 weeks old. They certainly are cute. I love the little chirp noises they make!

For now, they are on our back porch in cages. Eventually, we'll have to build a chicken house and run for them. We have the perfect spot. We just have to find the time to build what they need.

But there is nothing like fresh chicken or fresh eggs!

Thursday Thirteen #92

2008-07-10T08:47:00.000-07:00

Thursday Thirteen Rant

1. Okay, it's been a while. I've been really busy with vacations, parties, and finally fixing the walls in the living room.

2. The living room walls are a wreck. First, there was wallpaper, but no ordinary wallpaper--it seemed like it really was just paper. Secondly, in some spots, the wallpaper was applied directly to the wallboard. When trying to remove the wallpaper, I also seem to remove some wallboard.

3. Yes, I do have to remove the wallpaper. I tried to paint over it, but the primer made it bubble!

4. The county fair starts this Sunday, but I don't have any projects completed. The only thing I can enter right now is a photograph. I would love to complete a Halloween decoration, but my kitchen is torn up.

5. You heard me right, the kitchen is torn up. My husband is trying to apply a back splash. But as everything seems to be going lately, it's not as easy as it looks.

6. On top of everything, my husband has quit smoking. He's popping nicotine candy, but he's still really grumpy. Not very good when you're trying to do construction projects!

7. There is a party on Saturday to celebrate my husband getting his Doctorate. It's at our neighbors house (thank goodness!).

8. I've started new medications that usually have unpleasant side-effects. But so far, so good!

9. All the scraping of the wallpaper has made my right arm sore. I try to use my left, but it's never as good.

10. My garden is not doing so well. Rabbits and deer are eating some things. Other things just didn't want to grow. And my daughter pulled up the id markers, so I don't know what's growing!

11. Spiders are upset because we're kicking them out of the living room. I don't care--it's not like they don't have an entire forest to live in. They've gotten spoiled.

12. Yesterday, I got to flip off the "Straight Talk Express." Yep, McCain was within 30 miles of Creekistan!

13. I hope that by the end of the summer, I'll have the living room done--complete with wall- and floor-boards. And I'll be able to sit down and enjoy it.

Wordless Wednesday #8

2008-07-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

Smeagel, the Hairless Cat

Between the Storms: Our Trip to Omaha

2008-06-30T08:53:00.001-07:00

I was watching the weather updates and the road conditions before we left on our roadtrip to Omaha. Our drive takes us through Iowa, which has been hit hard by rains, tornadoes, and flooding. We mapped out two routes, just in case route "A" was still flooded. But route "B" was flooded, too. Fortunately, by the time we left, route "A" was okay.

Omaha and the surrounding areas has been pounded by Mother Nature during the past month. A tornado hit an Omaha community during the night of June 8th. On June 11th, a tornado hit a Boy Scout camp about 45 minutes from Omaha, killing 4 boys and injuring many more. Rain caused severe, post-Katrina-like flooding of several Iowa cities.

And, two days after we left Omaha, a wall of wind and rain, called "straight-line winds," blowing at 115 mph--hurricane levels--downed hundreds of trees, power lines, and caused severe damage, especially near where we were staying with my Mother. (By the way, my Mother and her home were undamaged.)

But between the storms, we had a good time. Only short bouts of rain appeared while we were there.

Our time in Omaha was so very brief, we could only visit a few of the most important places. First, we enjoyed a fabulous dinner at The French Cafe. I went shopping at the Mall of my Youth: Westroads. I enjoyed grocery shopping at Whole Foods. We took the kids to the best Zoo in the world: the Henry Doorly Zoo. I went with friends to Shakespeare in the Park to see Much Ado about Nothing. We visited the cemeteries where family are buried, especially my Father, placing flowers on every one. We even spent an hour or two, in the rain, looking for my Great-Grandparents' graves.

Most importantly, we visited with family. Some who have never met my daughter, since the last time I visited I was only two months pregnant with her.

We had fun during our whirlwind visit, and we didn't cause any damage.

Vacation!

2008-06-12T07:37:00.000-07:00

We're on vacation for a while. But I'll be back. Don't worry, the dog and the cat will be fed! I just hope the garden is okay.

Oh, and someone needs to take care of the tadpoles living in a bucket on the back porch.

And don't let the . . . . . . Oh, forget it! We need to get away for a while.

See ya!

Thursday Thirteen #91

2008-06-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

13 Random Things in Creekistan

1. A brood of cicadas has emerged. These are the loud bugs that emerge every 17 years or so. This isn't the big brood like the one in 2004, but they're still very loud. It sounds like an aerosol can that won't stop spraying, or Star Trek phasers on stun.Info.

2. My neighbor has a pesky bird that pecks at their kitchen window. In order to discourage this, they have set up a cross-dressing Mr. Potatohead in the window. It really works!

3. I hurt my back doing yard work. The yard doesn't seem to care and has just kept growing. But when I'm on muscle relaxers, I don't care very much.

4. My Wii Fit arrived and is a lot of fun. But you can't take it personally. My Wii Fit tells me that I'm obese and unbalanced. I'm hoping it means mentally unbalanced.

5. The Memorial Day parade near Creekistan started at 9am. We weren't even out of bed at that time! Forget it. Who needs to have fire engines throwing candy at you anyway?

6. While we were cleaning off the front porch, Mr. Toad snuck into the house and scared the crap out of my daughter, who was sitting time out. Mr. Toad was promptly let back outside. By the way, Mr. Toad is a toad who lives on our porch and isn't afraid of the dog.

7. We're all done with school, so everyone is home for the summer. No driving to town twice a day. With current gas prices, that's about $8 a day in savings!

8. Speaking of gas, on the Thursday before Memorial Day, I made the decision to wait to fill up the tank. I was shocked that gas was $4 a gallon. Then, on Friday, when I needed to fill up, prices were $4.20 a gallon. It's a conspiracy!

9. I went to a high school graduation party for a nephew. We didn't see him and his friends for a while until we found him and his friends in the basement playing on an Xbox and large-screen flat panel TV that a friend snuck into the basement.

10. As a graduation gift, I took that nephew and two friends to see Rocky Horror Picture Show. They were unsuspecting virgins that had no idea what was about to happen to them. On the way to the midnight showing, they asked me, "So, is this a musical?" Yep! "Is it a movie or a play?" Yep!

11. My husband has gotten addicted to Ancestry.com and has tracked a lot of our relatives into the 1700's. Seems I have both and Lewis and a Clark in my history. And my stubbornness comes from my German and Irish relatives. That's also why I like beer so much.

12. I got my hair done again--the highlights are gone and now I'm all over deep red/brown. I miss the highlights.

13. Storms all day yesterday caused a lot of downed trees, flooding, and power outages in our area. But I noticed that since moving to Creekistan, hearing reports of something happening to an area of town isn't just an area of town, but a person that I know and get worried about.

Wordless Wednesday #6

2008-06-04T05:40:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday #5

2008-05-28T07:11:00.000-07:00

Wii Fit Delivers Reality Check

2008-05-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

My Wii Fit tells me that I'm obese and unbalanced. Well, it wasn't a surprise. Part of the reason I got a Wii Fit was to help me get more exercise. But the machine was a little harsh.

The Wii Fit is an ingenious game that uses a balance board as it's controller. The board can be used to control fun games and exercises. But before you start playing, you first need to get measured--your Body Mass Index (BMI). I entered in my hight, birthday, and stepped on the board. It measured my weight versus my hight and determined, with a loud and accusing voice that "You're obese."

I had heard about the 10 year old that got her feelings hurt when the machine told her she was fat. [Article here].

I was ready for the insult. The Reality Check. The truth that I knew deep down--that I was overweight and need to address this health issue. When the machine loudly announced in it's cute little computer voice "Your Obese" and, to bring insult to injury, it made my Mii fat, I was a little hurt.

But the game is a lot of fun, and I can see myself using this to exercise on a daily basis. Even if it tells me I'm unbalanced and my fat Mii hangs her head down and looks very sad. I know I'm obese and unbalanced. You don't have to keep reminding me!

I should take heart. According to the Wii Fit, I'm also a Yoga Expert when it comes to some of the yoga poses. Even though I'm not what you think of when you hear of someone doing yoga, I have done a lot and have good control of my balance.

So, right now, I'm an Obese, unbalanced Yoga Expert. I should be on Oprah. Thanks Wii Fit!

Funny Baby Videos

2008-05-24T08:36:00.001-07:00

I made these videos when my son was just a few months old. I'm finally releasing them to the public on YouTube. Please be sure to watch and rate them!

Thursday Thirteen #90

2008-05-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

13 Things That My Coma Clinic Can Do For You! (results may vary)

1. Our Coma Clinic can help you become more fit--We'll hook your muscles up to our state-of-the-art stimulator system that simulate extra-hard workouts. You'll wake from your coma with that fit muscular body you've always dreamed about.

2. Lose weight--You'll be in a coma so you won't have to worry about your food intake. In fact, you'll get exactly the right amount of calories through your feeding tube. No more. No less.

3. Help you train to run a marathon--Just like our muscle-stimulator program, this program will specifically get your body ready for that marathon you've always dreamed about running. You might even wake up with runner's high but not the foot pain usually associated with running.

4. Get the sleep you so desperately want. In fact, you'll get to sleep for weeks, awaking refreshed and ready to rebuild your life.

5. Help that anxious father-to-be survive the last couple months of his wife's pregnancy, and perhaps the birth of a baby. Enter a coma when the stress gets to be too much and awake a new Father! Or try our special Father-In-Law To Be wedding package. Awake a new Father-In-Law, once the wedding bills are paid.

6. Quit smoking the Coma way! Have your last smoke just minutes before you go to sleep. Awake, take a deep breath, and don't worry about the withdrawal symptoms. *Can also be used for other addictive substances.

7. Can't stand waiting those long months between TV seasons? Watch your favorite program's season finale, go into a coma over the summer, and awake in time to see the next season's premier. It'll be like you were never gone!

8. Want to look great for the summer? Why not try our ComaTan! Our special rotisserie will give you a nice, even tan while you sleep.

9. Need to learn a foreign language? We can subliminally teach you a language with our immersive language tapes and programs. (Warning: can't guarantee that you'll be able to speak or read the language, but you should be able to understand it when spoken to you.)

10. Need cosmetic surgery but don't like the pain and discomfort? Let us take care of everything while you're in a coma. Awake to a new you!

11. Hate winter and the snow and can't afford to travel a long distance just to get away from it all? Try a coma for the winter. You'll "thaw out" at the same time as much of the ice and snow.

12. Can't stand all those political ads? Go into a coma! Skip all those long months with boring debates and mudslinging commercials. Wake up just days before election, ready to vote.

13. Better yet, send in your absentee ballot early, go into a coma, and avoid the whole up-all-night-watching-the-news-as-more-results-come-in game. Awake two days after election day, when results are final, or by January 15th, whatever comes first.

Wordless Wednesday #4

2008-05-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

Dad & Grad

2008-05-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

Inspired by my husband's upcoming Doctoral Hooding (w00t!) I have created a CafePress T-Shirt called "Dad & Grad." I'm sure that there are Fathers out there that will be graduating this year. This is a perfect way to celebrate both those achievements.

If you are interested, my shirts are available at HolidayBizarre.

My other shirts are also available Here, and my Nebraska Cornhuskers shirts are available Here.

Summer Movies 2008

2008-05-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

I finally got to see Iron Man this past weekend. It was very good, and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes either superhero movies or shoot-um-ups. It also had me and my husband wanting to know if most superheros prefer redheads? Perhaps I need to further lighten and redden my hair.

During the previews, I got to review some movies that are coming out this summer and later in the year, and I decided to look into all the movies coming out soon. Here is a list of movies I'm excited about:

The Dark Knight (I love Batman. This looks like a very noir film, made even more dark by the death of Heath, the actor who played the Joker. Reminds me of Brandon Lee and the movie The Crow.)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Wall-E
The Happening
The X-Files: I Want to Believe (Perhaps it's time to introduce my son to The X-Files. He loves UFOs and investigations.)
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (The cartoons were great-I'm sure the CG version will be great too!)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (November 2008)
Star Trek (coming out in a year, May 2009) - Perhaps I'll get to see a longer trailer this summer!

I also want everyone to be aware that I can be weary about the big summer blockbusters. There are some notable movies off my list, including Caspian, Hulk, and Speed Racer. Even those on my list can be skipped--it's getting too expensive to go out to movies and I may just have to wait until they are out on DVD.

Also note that I don't like chick-flicks. I think that the best movies in the genre were filmed in the 40's and 50's, and they are becoming boring and predictable now.

Do you have any recommendations? Let me know in the comments. It does look like and exciting movie season!

Thursday Thirteen #89

2008-05-14T19:07:00.000-07:00

13 Creekistan Torture Techniques
Waterboarding is so old-school. We here in Creekistan have much more humane and simple methods of "getting information from people."

1. Fit them with work boots that, once they are on and all laced up, you don't want the hastle of taking them off. Make sure they have a small, annoying stone inside.

2. Fill their cells with the "no-see-ums"--the nearly invisible biting bugs that make you itch all over.

3. Also in the cell, light it with florescence lights that blink and hum.

4. Tie them down on a chair. Let the dog lick them.

5. Have their cells near the dirt road where the ATVs like to drive up and down at all hours of the night.

6. Fit them with contacts that have a small grain of sand embedded on them.

7. Make sure their bathing water has a strange odor.

8. Have a dog with big, sad eyes stare at them whenever they sit down to eat.

9. Attach a wasp nest to the outside wall of their cell so that they hear the annoying buzzing all the time.

10. Gladly provide them with the local newspaper--the only news is about NASCAR anyway.

11. Play, on a loop, the "witty banter" from the local morning radio show.

12. For Television, allow them to watch whatever they can pick up with an antennae--in other words, NOTHING. Or occasionally, PBS.

13. For a work detail, make them pick up trash and cans thrown out of cars. Don't allow them to sleep until the road is completely clean--they may not sleep for days, and locals may throw out new items even while they are trying to clean.

Wordless Wednesday #3

2008-05-14T04:40:00.000-07:00

I realize that this defeats the purpose of "wordless", but I just want to say a couple of words about this photo. It was taken while I was in labor for my second child. The shirt is actually OM, not Superman.

Thursday Thirteen #88

2008-05-08T03:27:00.000-07:00

13 Gross Things In Creekistan

1. People who throw bags of dirty diapers out of their car window. I can't figure it out! Camping? Or is it a creature that finds the bag in the trash and drags it away.

2. Speaking of trash, we drug up over 40 used tires that were rolled down into the creek. The slime and mosquito larvae that collected in the tires was very gross.

3. The Bee House used to contain a large hive of honeybees and now houses only honeybee carcasses. Years of dead bees were collected between panes of a window and are stacked about a foot high.

4. The black-headed vultures around here are known to attack newborn calfs, killing them by pecking their eyes out and attacking their anus.

5. Vultures also projectile vomit. Can you imagine the smell of vomited rotted roadkill?

6. Can't wait until the infestation of thousands of millipedes on my front porch, eventually sneaking under my door and into the house. You can't take a step without the gross crunching sound.

7. Last Spring, my dog ate a fawn.

8. During the Fall deer hunting season, hunters will field dress a killed deer by emptying out it's guts, cutting off it's head and legs, and skinning it. Those are the items that my dog brings home. Good morning! Deer guts, anyone?

9. Some people throw out pop bottles filled with used chewing tobacco.

10. I've noticed that bees, yellowjackets, wasps, etc. like dead animals too.

11. My cat loves to kill mice. But she only eats the good parts and leaves the head, tail, and guts on the floor for us to find. Or worse: step on.

12. We have some very large wolf spiders that live in the attic. They are the size of a hand. If I find one, I try to vacuum it up, but I had one that held on so tight, I couldn't. I just left the house for a while.

13. We see spiders all the time. What worries me, are the ones we don't see.

Wordless Wednesday #2

2008-05-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

Thursday Thirteen #87

2008-05-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

13 Things I, Bandit the Dog, Like About Creekistan

1. My big cushion on the front porch. Yeah, it used to be an archery target, but I like to lay on it.

2. People bring me bones. I especially like hog bones.

3. Chasing cars. I love to chase the UPS guy.

4. Tricking my masters by barking at nothing and making them come outside to investigate.

5. Playing with the children. They can't catch me.

6. Getting deer parts from the forest. I love to bring deer legs home to sit on my cushion and nibble on them.

7. Barking at cars that park up the street. Why do they stop there?

8. Coming into the house to clean up food spills. Thanks, kids!

9. Drinking out of puddles.

10. Trying to chase and catch rabbits. I got one, once. Yummy!

11. Protecting my family from those guys that come and take our garbage every Thursday.

12. Did I mention that I like to bark at anything?

13. Getting let into the house on cold winter nights and sleeping on a pile of dirty laundry.

Wordless Wednesday #1

2008-04-30T13:56:00.001-07:00

. . . Another Door Opens (2008)

2008-04-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

A year ago, the worst thing that ever happened to me, happened. Worse then the death of my Father due to a rapidly-progressing disease. Worse then the stolen natural childbirth experience due to an emergency c-section. Worse then the car accident that put me in the hospital for 5 days.

I've never considered myself a stay-at-home person. I've always worked a full-time job since the day after I graduated with a two-year college. I was lucky enough to get a job that I enjoyed, that helped me learn many valuable skills, and, when I felt there was no more growth potential, left on my own terms for a better opportunity.

Three years ago we decided to move to Creekistan, much closer to my husband's job. Or more correctly, our move to Creekistan was decided for us. For one thing, a home near our dear friends became available for a shockingly low price. It was a "handyman special," and our dear friend was a handyman. Then on the day we closed on the house, I was offered the perfect job. Jobs near Creekistan are rare. It was as if fate was paving the road for us.

I really loved my new job. It was an oasis to me while my home in Creekistan was not finished. I was able to shower at work--a luxury I didn't have for a while at home. I had wonderful and like-minded co-workers. I had pets at work that helped take the stress away and make every day special. It was such a nice change from the sterile corporate environment I had been in for many years.

I was, as I refer to it, "quit" from that job. I wasn't fired and I didn't quit on my own. I was forced to pack up my desk and my desk trinkets because I wanted to preserve as much dignity as I could. I didn't want to go. I enjoyed my job and the workplace. But something made the boss stop trusting me and start criticizing everything I did. And I couldn't continue to work under those circumstances.

I was really hurt and scarred by losing my job. I still have nightmares about returning to work, humiliated and subservient. I still have anger toward the boss who forced me to leave. To this day I can't say the name of the company or the name of the boss. Instead I refer to them as "The Place I Used to Work," and "She Who Must Not Be Named" respectively. I cringed when my W2s arrived in January.

A year later, I've learned to become a Domestic Goddess. Some days I even manage to get my son off to school, make breakfast and lunch for my Husband to take to work, and I teach my 3-year-old the alphabet. I can now do laundry during the day instead of late at night. My garden is going to be bigger and better. My home is better run.

I feel like I didn't just lose a job, but I lost my identity. I'm still troubled by the fact that people use their employment as their identity. At parties, when people ask, "And what do you do?" I used to tell them all that I found interesting and fun about my job. Now I have to really think about my answer. I'm in transition, and making the best of it.

Thursday Thirteen #86

2008-04-24T07:08:00.000-07:00

13 Things I've Seen While Driving in Creekistan

1. A lot of deer. They're overpopulated, and now I'm not just seeing them at night, I've actually seen them running during the day. A couple years ago, a deer ran into my car (I was nearly stopped!) broke a light and ran off. But I can usually spot them.

2. A lot of litter. Some people around here seem to think that it's perfectly okay to throw their garbage right out their window. In fact, this morning I saw a complete bag of fast food garbage in the middle of the road. I have a neighbor that I suspect drives into town every morning for McDonalds, and on his way back, throws his garbage out near my house. The dog knows too, and looks forward to it.

3. Chickens eating on the side of the road. I guess they're smart enough not to cross. But if they did, I'd have to ask myself "Why?"

4. Roadkill. Most recently, I saw a dead fox. Broke my heart since they are such beautiful creatures.

5. ATVs. A favorite local past-time is to drive a loud four-wheeler on the road (illegally) with a cooler of beer strapped to the back. People of all ages participate. I once saw a 2-year-old with a hurt hand because she reached for something while on a 4-wheeler and got injured.

6. Vultures/Buzzards. With all the roadkill, who can blame them? But these are the kind of creatures that make you stop your car and wait until they fly off. They are large, nasty things. I've even heard that if you piss them off, they will projectile vomit at you.

7. Baptisms. There is a creek on my route that is perfect for this purpose. It's also good for fishing. We joke that we hope a fisherman doesn't snag a recently saved person. Baptisms upstream, fishing downstream, please.

8. Rusted appliances. Some people, instead of properly disposing of their old appliances, leave them outside. We've joked that Creekistan is where old appliances go to die. But I've noticed that during these hard economic times, more people are trying to get money by taking garbage to scrap yards.

9. Very large, old satellite dishes with vines growing over them. I love the site of nature taking over. Or is nature trying to get satellite TV?

10. Dogs that love to attack cars. I don't get it. What is a dog going to do with a captured car? They can't eat it! Bandit has been know to do this, but we're working hard to curb this habit. (Sorry about the pun!)

11. Chipmunks quickly running across the road with their tail straight in the air. The soundtrack in my mind plays the xylophone as I giggle at the site.

12. Box turtles getting a little sun. I've made it a habit that if I can safely do it, I'll stop and carry them off the road. They are too precious to be killed by careless or heartless people.

13. Beautiful scenery. Every day, no matter what time of year, there is something lovely to admire.

Thursday Thirteen #85

2008-04-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

I just recently signed over the title to our cute VW Beetle. So this week I'm doing a retrospective of that car.

13 Things About Our VW Beetle

1. My husband, during his 2+ hour commute from the city to his job near Creekistan, passed by this cute blue 1999 VW Beetle. It was nearly love at first site.

2. We bought the Beetle from a boat dealership. All the paperwork said "boat," but was crossed out and replaced with the word "car."

3. Neither one of us could drive a shift, so we had a friend come down and test drive it for us.

4. Our friend had to drive it home. He kept it at his place until my husband could learn how to drive it.

5. I was in my last trimester of pregnancy at the time, so I didn't want to ride in the car while my husband learned to drive a clutch. I was afraid the jerking motion would put me into early labor!

6. After a few weekends of practice, my husband felt comfortable driving it and we brought it home.

7. Just a couple of months of having the car, my husband thought he was comfortable enough to drive it during a really terrible snow storm. He just wanted to go to the library. We all get in the car and we can't even get off our hilly street. Eventually he had to park it and we walked home. We couldn't get the car out of the deep snow for almost a week.

8. For Christmas that year I got him a matching steering wheel cover and a bouquet of flowers for the built-in vase.

9. It wasn't long and things started to go wrong with the car. The first thing was the driver's seat: it wouldn't go back down after you moved it up to get into the back seat.

10. Then the driver's-side door wouldn't close right. Then the driver's-side door wouldn't open right--you had to roll down the window and open the door with the outside handle.

11. Then the windows stopped working--they wouldn't go up without considerable help.

12. Finally, my husband realized that the heat gage wasn't malfunctioning and that the car was really overheating--eventually blowing the headgasket--the equilivant to a massive heart attack.

13. We managed to drive the car--steaming like an angry, blue dragon, to our mechanic. That's where it remains and that's who bought it for parts.

The Daffodil House

2008-04-12T18:07:00.000-07:00

At the end of a long hike in the woods near our house, we found the old homestead we call The Daffodil House. Abandoned long ago, this house now stands--actually leans--in a secluded and beautiful spot. I imagine, long ago, that the farm wife who lived there planted a few daffodils so that she can enjoy the first signs of Spring with the lovely yellow flowers.

Now the house is sinking into to ground and the daffodils have taken over. The house leans to one side, being held up by a couple of trees that have embedded themselves into the side of the building. Windows are now small doors. If you peek inside, you see the detritus of long-gone residents, teenage parties, and careless hunters who have left evidence that people used to feel safe going into the house.

The wallpaper hangs from the walls. The couch has exploded and springs are everywhere. But the best site is the vast field of daffodils that have spread all over the area. Nature is taking it back.

Thursday Thirteen #84

2008-04-10T05:11:00.000-07:00

13 Reasons I Haven't Done My Thursday 13 Lately

1. It's Spring! I've been enjoying the outdoors.

2. I've been busy starting seeds for my garden. I use those cute dirt pellets that magically expand when you soak them with water.

3. I've also been expanding my garden and turning the earth for another garden plot. A lot of digging! Where's that roto-tiller I was promised?

4. I finally took my son to his first 4-H meeting. He's officially a Cloverbud!

5. The mushrooms have started to appear. My family have found a few, but I've found none.

6. Because the mushrooms are so prized (and valuable), we've had to let Bandit scare people off our land. He just barks at them, but I think they get the hint.

7. We've been trying to clean up the glass mound across the street. The people who used to live in the house that used to be there just tossed their glass behind their outhouse. Now we've got years of beer bottles, coffee jars, medicine bottles, and the occasional Ponds jar to pick up.

8. I'm going to see if any of these old glass bottles are valuable. Perhaps I can clean some up and sell them on eBay?

9. I've made the hotel reservation for my husbands Doctoral Hooding ceremony (aka Graduation.) Next I need to look into limos! He's graduating on a Friday the 13th.

10. We've also finalized the dates of our vacation to Omaha. Boy is my Mother excited.

11. There is now flooring down in one of the extra bedrooms. All it needs now is some electric, a new celeling, some drywall work, and paint. Then the kids can move out of my bedroom.

12. I've applied for College. I'll probably start classes in the Fall. It's been 10 years since I've done any classes. I hope that some of the stuff I did a few years ago will transfer over.

13. I've really missed Thursday 13 and everyones comments. I'm glad I was able to write this today!

Put on Your Mushroom Eyes

2008-04-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

It's now the wonderful time of year in Creekistan when everyone gets a little mushroom crazy. The Morel mushrooms are coming up! In some places in Appalachia, they are called "Molly Moochers."

We have a great spot for these prized mushrooms on our property. So prized, in fact, that we have to scare away mushroom hunters all the time. People around here tend to stop their car and start roaming the forests for mushrooms. I don't think they care if they are on private property or not. But I care! We value these mushrooms and use them for ourselves.

The whole family goes mushroom hunting, except for the dog, Bandit. Aptly named, Bandit will eat the mushrooms if he finds any. So we have to keep him tied up and barking when we hunt for morels.

First, we put on long pants and boots. Some of our property used to be a glass dumping place for long-gone former residents. We try to stay away for that area, but protect our feet from broken glass anyway. Then we grab mesh bags that we've saved all winter--the kind that onions or some fruits come in. Mesh bags allow proper ventilation of our precious mushrooms. Last, but not least, we put on our mushroom eyes.

Mushroom eyes help you to focus and see the mushrooms that have the magical ability to hide in plain site. You can be looking right at a morel and not even see it! But once you've used your mushroom eyes and had seen a mushroom, then you can see even more. It's like they magically appear!

We're going out, right now to see if we can find some. Even if we don't return with mushrooms, it's still a good excuse to explore the forest and enjoy nature.

Wish us luck!

2008-03-31T07:51:00.000-07:00

Now I Feel Like A Heel

As readers of my blog may know, I occasionally have to deal with stray or dumped dogs appearing on my doorstep. I can't believe that some people--rather than deal with unwanted puppies, old dogs, or random strays--would drive to the middle of nowhere (aka Creekistan) and just leave these dogs. Cats too. I've dealt with several such homeless potential pets that I've become a little hardened to it. I would love to take all of these animals into our home and hearts, but we simply can't.

The most recent story is of Red, a young adult mutt that almost found a home here. It started out as this wild dog appearing in the distance to play with my dog. The two dogs seemed to get a long. Eventually, Red warmed up to me and allowed me to examine him. He seemed okay to me, and we even discussed keeping him. He was a mix of a lot of things, including German Sheppherd, Lab, and possibly Pit. The Pit gave me pause. But he seemed really nice and even knew how to sit and give me his paw. Yep, someone abandoned him.

But Red fought and injured Bandit, probably over food. Any funds that might have been used to neuter Red were utilized to hospitalize our beloved Bandit. That was it for Red. I tied him up and called the Dog Warden on Monday. I called the Dog Warden on Tuesday. I called the Dog Warden on Wednesday before I went to the vet to get Bandit out of the "hospital." I had to keep Bandit in the house 24/7 in order to keep him away from Red as well as nurse him back to health. Red, in the meantime, started to think that he was ours. He started to protect the house and bark whenever someone came to visit. But he was too intimidating.

I called every day, trying to sound frustrated, sad and pathetic about having to be stuck with this stupid dog and why isn't someone coming out to get this dog that attacked my dog?

Finally on Friday the Dog Warden came and got Red. I felt bad--the kids watched as Red, tail between his legs and fighting the entire time, was taken away and put into a truck to go to one of the worst dog pounds in the state. But I was mad, too, that it took five days. The dog warden apologized profusely, and I even gave him a can of Coke, but our interaction was brief.

Then, on Saturday, I saw the headline of the weekend paper:"Dog warden injured avoiding dog." Seems that the dog warden was driving down the road and had an accident trying to avoid a stray on the road. Well, that explains why he was late. Now I feel like a heel.

My Significant Other

2008-03-20T20:37:00.000-07:00

Thursday Thirteen #83

2008-03-13T05:24:00.000-07:00

March 20, 2008, which would have been Mr. Rogers' 80th birthday, is being promoted as "National Sweater Day" in his honor. As a tribute, everyone should wear their best sweater next Thursday. If you have a sweater or two that you don't want or need any more, be sure to donate it.

13 Beautiful Things about Fred McFeely Rogers:

1. Mr. Rogers studied music composition in college and wrote all the music on the show.

2. In 1963, Fred was ordained a Presbyterian minister.

3. In 1969, Mr. Rogers testified in front of the Senate to help save funding for Public Television. He said that shows like his are an alternative to less positive messages on network television and encourage children to be come happy and productive citizens. By 1971, PBS funding was increased from $9 million to $22 million.

4. Mr. Rogers also testified in front of Congress, defending the use of VCRs to videotape shows. He said that by by taping shows, working parents could watch the shows with their kids at a more convenient time.

5. Koko the Gorilla was a fan of Mr. Rogers. When she met him, she gave him a big hug, and helped him take off his shoes.

6. When his car was stolen, it made news all over town. Within two days, it was returned to the exact spot it was stolen with a note reading, “If we’d known it was yours, we never would have taken it.”

7. He was color blind--he couldn't see blue. So basically, he didn't know what he looked like with the blue sweater on.

8. All the sweaters on the show were hand-knit by his mother.

9. A red cardigan sweater belonging to Rogers hangs in the Smithsonian.

10. MISTER ROGERS' NEIGHBORHOOD is the longest- running program on public television. It started in 1967 and the last original episode aired in 2001.

11. In 1998, Mr. Rogers met the Dalai Lama. I can't think of two kinder men. Think of the karma in that room!

12. In 2002, President George W. Bush presented him with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, recognizing his "contribution to the well-being of children and a career in public television that demonstrates the importance of kindness, compassion and learning."

13. Mr. Rogers died in his Pittsburgh home on Thursday, February 27, 2003 after a brief battle with stomach cancer. He was 74.

Thursday Thirteen #82

2008-03-06T05:46:00.000-08:00

Thursday Thirteen: Mayhem in Creekistan

1. The 3-year-old boy that I watch 3 days a week freaked out Monday morning and didn't want to be at my place. I had to hold him down for about 20 minutes so that he wouldn't run out the door and down the street. He was kicking and screaming the entire time, and even pissed himself. I kept my cool, because I knew that no matter how stubborn he is, I'm more stubborn. He was much better on Wednesday.

2. Monday was warm outside, so I started on the gardening stuff. At least I found the shovel and the hoe. But I noticed some annuals starting to get green.

3. The spring flowers are starting to come up.

4. I'm waiting for my new digital camera to arrive. Hopefully it can take much better pictures than my old one.

5. Speaking of spring, there is an old abandoned house deep in the woods that, every spring, is completely surrounded by beautiful daffodils. We call it the Daffodil House. I'll take pictures.

6. The spring peepers (frogs) are peeping. I love the sound and will stop my car, roll down all the windows, and listen for a while.

7. I got a call from a company that I interviewed with around November last year. They are finally interested in looking to hire me, but lost my resume and want me to send it again. Do they really think I would want to work for a company that disorganized? Besides, I think I like this stay-at-home thing. At least for now.

8. I did call that company back and found out that indeed, the executive had lost my resume and contact information. He made his assistant track me down. Eventually she spoke with someone at my son's elementary school and found me.

9. I felt sad that they went through all that trouble just to find me and then I didn't want to work for them! So I'm working out a freelance/consultative agreement with them instead. Work at home and bill them the hours.

10. I've also become very busy doing postcards and posters for local arts organizations. It's fun work, but they are the toughest customers!

11. Our dog Bandit keeps bringing home deer bones and leaves them on the porch or driveway. My 3-year-old daughter grabbed my hand one day and said that I had to see something. She pointed them out and said, "Look, dinosaur bones!"

12. One day in the car, my daughter started repeating a phrase over and over. I couldn't figure it out at first. I asked her what it was and she said "Austin Powers". I finally figured out was a phrase from Austin Power's Goldmember: "Twins, Basil!"

13. We may have a new dog. One that has just been hanging out but would run away as soon as he saw people. But yesterday I was able to pet him and feed him. Bandit likes him except when I give him attention. But I think the new dog is going to stick around. I'm afraid to name him.

Alphabet MeMe

2008-02-26T07:00:00.000-08:00

Here’s how it goes: Rule #1: Copy all the links below and replace a single link under the appropriate letter of the alphabet. If your domain name, or even the title of your blog, starts with an “A,” you’d replace the link under that letter and put the replaced link at the bottom. Also, don’t forget to credit the tagger, or where you got the list from, at the end of the list with a full URL of the post so that a pingback gets generated.

A. Amy the Black

B. Blogging with Cent

C. Cricket's Hearth

D. Dane Bramage

E. Everything and Anything

F. Fond of Snape

G. Gone to Plaid

H. Holiday Bizarre

I. It's Like she's Raising Animals!

J. Jen's Horde

K. Kabalyero

L. Loose Leaf Notes

M. Mommy Mandy

N. Not Just Mama

O. Original Mx5

P. Peapod Squad Stuff

Q. Q Weddings

R. Rowdigrl

S. Scribbit

T. The Rock Chick

U. Utada Online

V. Valmg

W. Wicked Babylon

X. Xavier Media

Y. Yimto

Z. Zbudapest

Replaced Links: An Ordinary Life
DadThing
Forum Finder
Happy Keg
I’m Running To Win Two
Julies Journal
Ladylike4
Shirleys Delight
Not Just Mama
The So Called Me

Thanks to Cricket's Hearth for tagging me.

Sorry, I'm not going to tag anyone. But if you want to volunteer, go for it!

The Oscars 2008

2008-02-25T05:15:00.000-08:00

I love to follow the Oscars. I used to stay up late and watch. When they used to be on later in March, sometimes they'd even land on my birthday! But those days are over.

Since I don't have TV, I followed the Oscars by Live Blogging. Yep, someone at the awards ceremony with a computer blogged the night away. Every so often I'd go to my computer, hit "refresh" and find out something new. It doesn't replace seeing the awards, but I still find out who won.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to see any of the movies up for Best Picture. In fact, I didn't see most of the movies nominated for any category! But now I know what to put in my Netflix queue.

I'm Now An Artisan Bread Baker

2008-02-22T17:03:00.000-08:00

A huge shout out goes to fellow blogger SusieJ, who wrote a Thursday Thirteen about the book "Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day." She inspired me to get the book, which I did. In fact, I paid extra for overnight shipping and thanked my husband for the Valentines Day present. But because of this stupid Flu and Bronchitis, I was not able to make my first batch for a week.

I have to say, this is wonderful. The dough was easy to make, and the baking was easy, too. The only difficult part was waiting for it to cool before we had our first bite.

Now that the loaf is almost gone, we'll have to discipline ourselves to wait until tomorrow to make another one. Otherwise, all this weight that I lost while sick will just jump right back on.

I highly recommend: Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day: The Discovery That Revolutionizes Home Baking
by Jeff Hertzberg

Thursday Thirteen #81

2008-02-21T07:13:00.000-08:00

Thursday Thirteen: Life in Creekistan

1. My son and I were listening to NPR this morning in the car. The station wasn't coming in very good and we would lose the signal with a buzzing sound. So we pretended that the people on NPR were actually flys with giant heads, buzzing around a microphone.

2. We wanted to watch the lunar eclipse last night, but it was too cold. So we sat in the car and watched from our driveway.

3. We already received our Girl Scout cookies, and half are already eaten.

4. With being sick these past two weeks, I've come to realize that Pirates of the Carabbean At Worlds End makes a great movie to put in while you're taking a nap. It's so long, that I can usually fall asleep during the beginning, take a nice nap during the middle, and wake back up in time to see the end.

5. We've been watching a lot of Star Trek lately. Mainly Voyager and Deep Space Nine. Great science fiction crust with a wonderful morality play center. Yum.

6. Since we were all sick on Valentines Day, we didn't get to celebrate. We've decided on a new holiday: Go Crazy at Jungle Jims Day. You wouldn't believe this store if you haven't seen it. Check it out here. We're planning on traveling there and spending the day. I have to make a giant shopping list, first.

7. I've decided that when I grow up, I want to be a Script Supervisor. I'm always spotting continuity problems in movies.

8. When I told my son the above fact, he said, very delicately, "Um. . . . but you are grown up." Then we argued: "No I'm not!" "Yes you are!" "Not" "Are" Not" "Are" "Not infinity."

9. Whenever I move my front passenger seat up so that my son can have more leg room, my husband accuses me of having someone else in the car. I tease that I'm having an affair with a midget.

10. I still can't teach my daughter knock knock jokes. I say, "Knock Knock," she says "Who's there?" and no matter what I say, she just starts laughing before I get to finish the joke.

11. Speaking of my daughter, she's been wanting to wear pretty dresses all the time. I don't have many. But it is cute when we go out because she also wears rubber boots. She's such a country girl.

12. I recently found out that sometimes, late at night when me and my kids are asleep, my daughter will get up and go downstairs to spend quality time with my husband. They snack, watch a movie, and cuddle on the comfy chair.

13. My husband can play "Tubular Bells," the theme from the movie "The Exorcist" on the toy xylophone. Creepy.

Thursday Thirteen #80

2008-02-13T15:08:00.000-08:00

13 Things I Did Twenty Years Ago

I vividly remember February 12th, 1988 because it was my first date with my future husband. Once we're over the flu, I'm sure we'll celebrate this 20th anniversary.

1. February 12th, 1988 was a Friday before a 3-day weekend. Sunday was Valentine's Day, and Monday was President's Day. As a bonus, school was called off on Friday because of snow.

2. Although I had not seen him in a few months, I was talking to FH (future husband) on the phone a lot. We talked a lot on the phone that day, and agreed to meet at a local mall.

3. I was fairly new to the area, but I could navigate by malls. Unfortunately, on my way to the mall to meet with FH, I missed the exit.

4. I finally got to the mall and we met near a pet store. The pet store has since been replaced by a food court. Makes me wonder . . .

5. We went out for Chinese (Golden Buddha) and brought it to a friend's babysitting job to eat. My friend is responsible for making sure we got together. My school was having a Sadie Hawkins dance--girls were supposed to invite boys. I could only remember FH's name and the school he attended. She researched it in the phone book and actually found his number, dialed it, and forced me to talk. He wasn't home.

6. I took him home to meet the parents. I'm not sure what they thought, since FH had safety pins stuck all over his pants in a semi-punk style. But my Shi-Tzu puppy loved him and nipped his nose.

7. We went to a movie that night. What romantic movie did we choose for our first date? Fatal Attraction.

8. By the time we got back from the movie, it was late. We sat in front of the fire and kissed for a while. We looked at the clock and it said 1:11. From then on, every time we see that time, we kiss.

9. With permission from my parents and FH's mother, he stayed on the couch.

10. I brought him coffee in the morning in my "Amy" cup.

11. We hung out the next day with my friends. We had our typical Pop-Tarts, Root Beer Float and Fencing party. Seriously! We'd have junk food and spar with swords.

12. We had to take FH home Saturday night. He lived across town, about 45 minutes away.

13. But I did get to see him again on Monday, President's Day. We hung out at his Mother's house and watched the Talking Heads movie, "Stop Making Sense." I love the '80's!

For Valentines Day: Porn for Women

2008-02-12T15:36:00.000-08:00

(click on the photo to see the larger image.)

Porn for Women
by Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative
Available on Amazon!

Thursday Thirteen #79

2008-02-07T07:09:00.001-08:00

13 Famous Rats

1. Today, 2008, starts the Year of the Rat, according to the Chinese calendar.

2. Rats are charming, passionate, charismatic, practical and hardworking.

3. William Shakespeare, and Mozart were born in the year of the rat.

4. More modern famous rats are Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Affleck, Samuel L. Jackson, Carmen Electra, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Avril Lavigne, Kelly Osbourne, Bono, David Duchovny, and Hugh Grant.

5. Let's not forget about the rats in the the movie and book "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH". . .

6. . . . or Templeton in "Charlotte's Web" . . .

7. . . . or Rizzo the rat from The Muppet Show . . .

8. . . . and especially Ron Weasley's rat, Scabbers, in the Harry Potter books who turns out to be the big rat Peter Pettigrew (aka Wormtail).

9. The newest rat on the scene is Rémy, a rat that would rather be a chef in the movie, Ratatouille.

10. The last Year of the Rat was a very good year for movies. 1996 was the year of Jerry Maguire, Fargo, and my favorite, The English Patient. It was also the year for Beavis and Butt-Head Do America, Independence Day, Twister, and Mission: Impossible.

11. The Year of the Rat, 1984 was a very significant year. The first MTV Video Music Awards are held in Radio City Music Hall, New York City. It was the year of Ghostbusters, The Karate Kid, and Footloose . . .

12. . . . . and when Happy Days finally ended after jumping the shark.

13. In 1984, Andy Kaufman made his final performance.

The Ungodly Coin

2008-02-05T09:04:00.000-08:00

In my crusade against misinformation being sent through e-mail, I wrote this article this morning, hoping to end the debate.

Rumors have been spreading for years about the fact that the new U.S. Mint coins are omitting the phrase "In God We Trust," thus indicating a government plot to "phase God out of America." This rumor has some in the the Christian community in an uproar, with some religious people indicating that they'd refuse to accept or spend these "atheist" coins.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Well, actually, there is a little sliver of truth, about the size of the edge of a $1 coin. In early 2007, the U.S. Mint admitted that an unknown amount of George Washington dollar coins were minted missing the "In God We Trust", which should have appeared on the edge of the coin.

Truth is, the phrase was never intentionally omitted. This new series of $1 gold coins, similar to the popular state quarter program, are to honor U.S. presidents, starting with George Washington. These coins feature a new bold design with the figure of the honored president much larger then in previous designs. In order to make room for this large design, the phrases "In God We Trust" and "E Pluribus Unum" were moved to the edge of the coin. Some people, seeing only a head-on photograph of the coins and not seeing the edge lettering, might have become outraged and spread the rumor through e-mail.

The government has taken measures to help make heads and tails of the situation. The Consolidated Appropriations Act of 2008, that was signed by President George W. Bush on December 26, 2007, changes the design of the coin. H.R. Bill number 2764, Section 623 "Modifies the edge-incused inscription on $1 coins minted and issued honoring each of the Presidents of the United States to remove "In God We Trust." Requires the design on the obverse or the reverse of the coins to bear such inscription." In other words, the phrase "In God We Trust" will be required on the front (obverse) or back (reverse) of the coin.

Starting in 2009, the $1 coins will have "In God We Trust" and "E Pluribus Unum" printed on the front or back of the coin instead of the edge. Hopefully this will satisfy some in the religious community that the government is not trying to phase out God. But if you do happen to stumble upon a coin with the Ungodly error, they are worth a lot more than $1!

References:

http://www.usmint.gov/mint_programs/$1coin/index.cfm?action=Washington
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17501178/
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/dollarcoin.asp
http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-2764

The New Hair

2008-02-05T07:29:00.000-08:00

For those of you curious, Amy the Black may have to change to Amy the Black/Red/Blond. I can't be Amy the Red because it's taken! Redheads have the most fun, huh Sandi the Red?

Thursday Thirteen #78

2008-01-30T18:14:00.000-08:00

Thursday Thirteen: For The Birds

1. A friend of mine had extra beer left over from a party and gave them to me. I don't usually like Bud and Bud Light, but it's free! I put them on the back porch to stay cold. Lately I was worried that they may explode in the cold temperatures. I was afraid to even check, and I've been out of beer for a while. But I got desperate and checked, and YEAH! they did not explode. The cans of beer, however, do have sawdust all over them from being too close to the circular saw.

2. With the temperatures in the teens and single digits, we've been letting the dog in at night. Contrary to what most people may think of Bandit, he's pretty good inside the house. I can get him to lay down on the floor near the kids and he'll stay there all night.

3. My 7-year-old son is getting pretty good with the computer. I let him have my old iMac (older than him!) and he knows how to use it. In fact, right now, he has iTunes playing my 3-year-old's personal playlist so that she'll leave him alone long enough to do his homework.

4. My 3-year-old daughter's iTunes playlist is actually pretty good. She really likes Devo, especially Whip It and Working In A Coalmine. I've been playing Radiohead for her, and she really enjoys it. She whips her long blond hair around like a heavy-metal guitarist. Actually, I think she'll play drums.

5. I've been watching a friend's two kids while she teaches at the university. Her husband also teaches there, as does my husband. I feel like the housewife for three professors.

6. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, finally. I was inspired by Colleen who said "Overnight my hair reaches critical mass and I can’t go another day without a haircut."

7. I'm also going to get my hair highlighted. So now I have thoughts of having hair like Kelly Clarkson or Penolope Cruz. Actually, the only reason I'm having highlights is to hide the grey.

8. I've been daydreaming about what I'd do with the money I get from the economic stimulus package--it reminds me of dreaming of winning the lottery. Actually, the money is already spent and would be used to pay outstanding bills. I'm still holding out for winning the lottery, if only I had enough money to play.

9. I just found an old friend on MySpace. He owns a parrot that I used to "birdsit" occasionally. I don't know if I missed him or the bird more! Sorry, Andy, I don't mean it. I really miss your gigantic hugs more than bird poop on my shoulder. Say "Hello" to Crackers for me!

10. My daughter turned 3 last Wednesday, but she's been celebrating for a week. Every night I have to read Dr. Seus' Happy Birthday To You, she's still playing with her Happy Birthday mylar balloon, and wishes everyone a Happy Birthday. Why not?

11. My son just wrote the sentence "I am straighter then you." When I checked his writing, I had to laugh. He thought the word was "stronger." So he changed the word "am" to "stand." Much better!

12. My husband's car door froze shut when I was starting the car for him. So I managed to climb into the back and open the door from the inside. When he was trying to leave, the door wouldn't shut. He yelled at me for opening the door from the inside. I guess, in his fury, he forgot that sometimes you need to get OUT of the car. I quickly fixed the latch and all was better.

13. Someday I'm going to compile a list of phrases that you may only say once in your life. For example, "I hate it when the kids break the abacus!"

Thursday Thirteen #77

2008-01-24T17:35:00.000-08:00

13 Reasons Why My Thursday Thirteen Is Late

1. Wednesday was my daughter's third birthday. We partied all day and the kids were still wound up in the evening.

2. I let my son stay up a little later Wednesday night because we were doing his "French for Kids" lessons--listening to a CD and doing worksheets. We can count to 10 in French now!

3. Wednesday night I went to bed with the kids and fell asleep. Therefore I was not able (or willing) to get up in the middle of the night and do my Thursday Thirteen. A lot of my TT writings are done around 3 am.

4. When I did wake up in the middle of the night, I was too cold. All I could do was change into my warm pajamas and get back under the warm covers.

5. With Monday being a holiday, I forgot that Thursday was Thursday.

6. My husband was scheduled for minor surgery Thursday morning. I was getting prepared for a rushed morning.

7. Thursday morning was rushed and very snowy. We decided, after starting down the road, to drop my son and daughter at the sitters and forget about school. I thought it would be cancelled anyway because of the snow.

8. I had to ship out some eBay stuff and had to stop at the post office before going to the surgery.

9. We got to the Same-Day Surgery center at 10 am--just as we were supposed to, even though the roads were snowy.

10. The doctor was running late. We had to wait until after 2 for his surgery. (FYI: He's fine, it was a routine procedure--but you know how sometimes men can be big babies!)

11. During the 4+ hour wait, I managed to crochet a small hat.

12. The drug store's computer was down, so I had to wait for my husband's medications.

13. I didn't get home to my computer until about 7 pm Thursday night. So here I am! Finally!

Mein Hund Ist Krank

2008-01-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

Bandit is an outdoor dog. He's only allowed in the house to help clean up food spills or when it's dangerously cold outside.

One day when I was gone and my husband and son were left at home, my son let Bandit into the house. But not only was he allowed into my bedroom, the beast was allowed to lay on my bed. A definite No No.

According to my sons testimony, my son and the dog were relaxing on the bed when, out of the blue, the dog vomited on my side of the bed. My son tried to clean it up, but had to enlist the help of his father. His father instructed him to use a magazine to scoop the sick into a bag. Then clean the area with a wet towel. He did a good job and I might not have known, but my son had to tell me about the incident when I got home.

Luckily, I was at the laundrymat and had just washed bedding and was planning to change the sheets anyway. Just for good measure, I also flipped the mattress.

Just for fun, I had my husband translate the phrase "My dog is sick," into German: "Mein Hund ist krank."

Thursday Thirteen #76

2008-01-17T00:44:00.000-08:00

13 Things You May Find Yourself Saying in the Future

1. Dang! I tore my iPod in half.

2. I'm going to Wal-Mart for sex-change surgery, again.

3. There's a UFO delay on the east-bound highway. The craft has the left lane blocked.

4. After the light, go past 5 Starbucks and turn right at the Super Starbucks.

5. Boy does this laptop cut hurt!

6. Laser me off a slice of that cow-goat hybrid.

7. Sex in zero gravity is too difficult. I wouldn't recommend a honeymoon on the moon.

8. I just uploaded to this new body and I'm still getting used to it.

9. We're having the Smiths over tonight. They're Martians, so try to make them feel welcome.

10. Life begins at 70.

11. My next clone is going to have red hair instead.

12 That was really good steak. See if you can get the Chef to give us a DNA sample.

13. I hear and obey your command evil, sentient super monkey Overlord.

Thursday Thirteen #75

2008-01-10T06:34:00.000-08:00

The "Bodies" exhibit is coming to my area next month and I'm excited. The exhibit, controversial because of how they obtained the bodies and how they display the bodies, is a great way to actually see inside the body, including organs, the skeletal, muscular, and vascular systems as they really are.

But I'd like to have an exhibit that's even more controversial and probably will outrage even more people then the Bodies exhibit: Critters, featuring the bodies of animals posed like you've never seen them before!

13 Items in my Critters Exhibit

1. The muscular system of a cat, ready to pounce on the muscular system of a mouse.

2. The internal organs of a raccoon reaching into a garbage can.

3. The vascular system of a monkey wearing a fez, leached to a rolling calliope and posed in mid-dance. The calliope must play music.

4. The muscular system of a turkey, sitting on a platter at a Thanksgiving dinner. (Actually, this may just look like dinner, but actually, the turkey would not be cooked.) Leave the head on with an expression of surprise.

5. The skeletal system of a snake which had just eaten the skeletal system of a mole.

6. The vascular systems of horses running a race.

7. The internal organs of a pig rolling in the mud.

8. Show the internal organs of a doe lovingly nudging a newborn fawn.

9. My exhibit must include a nice display of the very delicate skeletal systems of various birds eating at a bird feeder. Perhaps include it inside an aviary with real-live birds!

10, Include, in the above exhibit, the muscular system of a squirrel trying to steal birdseed.

11. The vascular system of a bat, hanging upside down.

12. Recreate, by using just the muscular system, the inspirational poster of the kitten hanging on to a rope with the saying "Hang In There!".

13. The central piece of the exhibit (and perhaps most controversial) will feature the various systems of the body and would recreate the famous painting of dogs sitting around a table playing cards.

Freecycle? Unnecessary in Creekisan!

2008-01-08T18:17:00.000-08:00

Perhaps you've heard of Freecycle. It's an organization/website where you can list items you no longer need but hate to throw away. Obviously this works the other way: If you're looking for an item, if you don't mind something used, you may find it listed on Freecycle in your area.

In Creekistan, all you have to do is put it near the road with a "Free" sign on it. It'll get picked up within an hour. I'm not kidding! When we were cleaning out the yard of junk, we found a truck cap, emptied it out of items and blue-tailed skinks and put it near the road with a large "FREE" sign. Within the hour, someone stopped and put it in their truck.

Today, I tested it again. We put out the "dogloo" igloo-style dog house that the Beast-in-Residence does not seem to like. It was exactly 4:00 pm. At 4:40, someone stopped and wanted to confirm that it really was free. Yep! They came back 10 minutes later with a bigger car and somehow got the thing into the back seat.

In a small way, we're doing our part to help reduce/reuse/recycle things. But quite possibly, we're just adding to the junk-filled yards of our neighbors. I just hope a dog really does end up calling the old dogloo "home."

The Bluegrass Roots are Showing

2008-01-06T09:18:00.000-08:00

When I first looked at the house we are now living in, it was strewn with junk everywhere. The house had been abandoned for a couple of years, and we suspect that local youth had used it for parties. Whoever lived here left a lot of stuff and even some furniture. One of the items was an award something like, "Bob Evans Farm Guitar" award. It was a plaque.

I heard, from the old couple that sometimes deliver water for us, one of the guys that used to live here played Bluegrass. I know his name (which I won't reveal here) because I get some of his mail. Yesterday, I got some of his mail--a tax document from Nashville.

Seems Mr. Bluegrass, formerly from Creekistan, is a Grammy-award winning Bluegrass guitar player!

I'll send the tax document where I've written: "Return to Sender - Address Unknown."

2008-01-02T09:21:00.000-08:00

Resolutions Review for 2007

Here are the resolutions I made for 2007 and a brief follow up of how I did:

Eat less junk food. I guess I’ll try to bring food into work so that I am less tempted to go out and grab something. | Well, I did pretty good with this since I no longer have a job and stay home, miles away from the nearest fast food restaurant.
Read more. Okay, perhaps I should say that in the last year, I haven’t read at all! The occasional book-on-tape is how I’ve been surviving. But I do hope that the 7th and last Harry Potter book comes out this year. | Reading is something that eludes me. No, I didn't get to read more in 2007. The Harry Potter book is the only book I recall actually reading from cover to cover.
Potty train my daughter. No more diapers! | Yeah, Baby! Except for the night, we are diaper free!
Find a babysitter. This way, I can do resolution #6. | I did find someone who can watch the kids! Yeah!
Plant and take care of a bigger and better garden. Perhaps I’ll even have corn this year! | Bigger, yes. Better, not really. But I have my seed catalogs for this year and I have a tiller, so we'll see!
Finish the kitchen. This will involve painting and putting up a backspash around the stove and sink. It’s not a huge project, but it will disturb things for a while. | Not at all.
Have more parties at home. We enjoy entertaining. Why not invite more people to come by? Okay, so the house isn’t done and the living room still has pieces of old wallpaper hanging down from the wall. But the floor is down and there’s plenty of room to dance! | We did entertain more, especially around Christmas and New Year. And we've had more people just stop by!
Blog more often. Sometimes I think if it wasn’t for Thursday 13, my blog would be empty. | Not really.
Take more pictures. With a digital camera, there is no excuse for not taking pictures. I’ll need a big memory card, but that shouldn’t be too difficult. | Yes! But my camera won't work with a memory card, so I have to upload often.
Enter something into the county fair. I don’t know what, yet. But I could try entering a piece of artwork or a photo, or even a pie. | Yes! I have two blue ribbons to prove it! Next year, I'll enter even more!

Thursday Thirteen #74

2007-12-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

13 Items from Fiction That I Would Like for Christmas

1. There is a lot from the Harry Potter books that I would like, so I'm only going to limit myself to a few. The first item I would like is my own House Elf. Just think how much help it would be with the cooking and cleaning!

2. From "Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles," I would like the Jolly Boat. This beautiful boat is powered by laughter and comes with a special "fountain" that will make whatever ice cream treat you want.

3. How about a seasons pass to visit Willie Wanka's Chocolate Factory whenever I want?

4. The flying car that Harry and Ron borrowed from Ron's dad and flew to Hogwarts? But I'd want it before it became feral in the Forbidden Forest.

5. I would like to get Bilbo's sword, Sting. I'm sure the fact that it glows when orcs are nearby would come in handy here in Creekistan.

6. From Star Trek, I'd love to get a Replicator. Be handy in the kitchen: "Cafe Mocha, please!"

7. Also from Star Trek, a Transporter. Would be great to get everyone to school on time, and it would save on gas and wear and tear on the flying car.

8. An Ewok. They're just cute and they would love living here in the forest.

9. The Time Machine from H.G. Wells. Just for quick trips into the past or future. I'd try not to step on a moth.

10. There are a lot of robots I'd like, but I guess my pick would be C2PO or other protocol droid. Handy at helping with guests, but also good at diagnosing problems with the other gadgets around the house.

11. Batman's self-driving car. I'd never have to worry about where I parked again--just speak into my communication watch and tell the car to come get me. But when my kids get old enough to drive, I'd have to program an override so they couldn't borrow it. Perhaps I'll let them use the flying car.

12. A Halodeck. I wouldn't have to leave home to go on vacation. I could make up my own environment and do role-playing. Everyone in the family would love it!

13. Lastly, I would like "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Not only would it be a wealth of information, but its take on things are refreshing. I'd have to help write the portion about humans on Earth.

Family Tree Lighting Ceremony

2007-12-15T08:11:00.000-08:00

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Thursday Thirteen #73

2007-12-13T07:36:00.000-08:00

My 13 Favorite Chuck Norris "Facts"

1. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

2. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

4. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

5. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

6. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

7. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

8. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

9. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

10. Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

11. When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

12. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

13. One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

More can be found at http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/.

Thursday Thirteen #72

2007-12-06T07:22:00.000-08:00

You may not know that I grew up in Omaha, and spent a lot of that time in the Westroads Mall. It was the closest and biggest mall in our area of town and it had plenty of ways to keep us occupied. In light of the shooting that happened there yesterday, I'd like to share memories of that mall:

My earliest memories of Westroads was standing in line to see Santa. They had an impressive animated display, complete with a Santa's workshop, moving elves and reindeer, and everything imaginable to make a kid stand there with their mouth open for several minutes. I only stood in line to see the display, and refused to see Santa, much to the dismay of my parents.
When the mall was young, it did not have a food court. But it did have Bishops Cafeteria! You grabbed a tray, and as you went down the line, you can choose whatever foods you wanted. They would total it up at the end. I remember always getting a Jetsons plate with ham, green beans, and the best macaroni and cheese ever made.
There was a cheap theater in the mall. My father and I used to go on Saturday mornings and see Star Wars--for as long as it was playing in the theater. I think we did this about 12 times!
When my half-sister was staying with us, she used to take me to the mall on Saturday. We used to always see a movie--no matter what was playing. I remember seeing some really bad ones: Escape from Witch Mountain, Heaven Can Wait, and Hanger 18.
When the phone company was de-monopolized (aka deregulated), an Omaha Bell store was put in so that you can buy your own phone! They had a display were you can call other phones in the store, and we'd do this for as long as they'd let us.
The Montgomery Wards had a candy counter where my Dad would always buy chocolate stars with the white little balls on them. They sold balloons, too, but my Mother hated balloons and he'd get in trouble if he bought me one.
My Mother worked at the Montgomery Wards for many years. She worked in the back at the very old-fashioned switchboard. It was the kind with all the wires and holes and you had to put the right wire in the right hole to connect someone to the right extension. I'd sneak back and watch her and ask for more money.
When I was a young teen, my Mother would take me and a friend to the mall while she worked. I guess we were considered early Mall Rats.
My best friend's mother owned a t-shirt shop on the lowest floor in a corner. We'd go just to say "Hi" (she didn't live with her Mother.) But it was the kind of store where you can pick out the shirt and the transfer and they'd put it on for you with a steamer. I remember getting a baseball jersey with a rainbow. I also remember they had a shirt that on the front that said, "To entertain an idiot, see other side." It said the same thing on the back.
If I had extra money, I'd always buy an Orange Julius. I almost never had extra money.
My first boyfriend bought me a bracelet there and had it engraved with my name on one side and "Love, (name)" on the other. We went there on my birthday.
One of the last things I did before boarding the plane to move to Ohio, was go to that t-shirt shop I mentioned earlier. I bought a shirt that said, "London, England (with a picture of Big Ben); Rome, Italy (tower of Pisa); Paris, France (Eiffel Tower)' and Omaha, Nebraska (cow)."
Whenever I visit Omaha, I go to Westroads. It's very different now and looks nothing like I remember. But it has a food court that still has Orange Julius and a Runza Hut. If you've never had a Runza, you should.

2007-12-03T19:06:00.000-08:00

Christmas Answer #2: Christmas Trees

The Christmas tree is another example of the Christianization of pagan or secular traditions that celebrate the Winter Solstice. Christmas trees are evergreen, remaining green all year round. Evergreens have always been important during winter solstice because they reminded people that things were not all dead, and that Spring would come again.

Many cultures in many different lands used evergreens to decorate during the wintertime. Some of those were Egyptians, Romans, Druids, and Vikings. Our modern tradition can be traced back to 1570 Germany, when a small fir was decorated with apples, nuts, dates, pretzels and paper flowers. Children would collect the treats on Christmas day.

I've never had a real Christmas tree at home. I look forward to the day when we can go out and find one on our land and bring it home. But for now, we're happy with our cheap, Wal*Mart pre-lit tree. To me, it's still just as pretty and more friendly to the environment. I can't help but think about all those poor trees that are destroyed for a couple of weeks of enjoyment.

references:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_tree
http://www.christmastrees.on.ca/ednet/lesson1.html

Christmas Answer #1

2007-11-25T07:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we put up our Christmas decorations. I knew my husband, a well-known Grinch, was gone for the afternoon, providing us the opportunity to get out the tree (fake, pre-lit) and all the other festive items. My son, who is 7 years-old asked me a lot of questions about the Christmas traditions that I could not answer. Why do people put an angel or a star on top of their tree? What is "Noel"? Why Santa Clause? Why put out colored lights and decorations at all?

I don't like answering his questions with "because we have always done that." We are not particularly religious, so I want to give him satisfying answers that are based on fact, tradition, and not stories that were hijacked by a particular belief and changed to satisfy those beliefs. So I'm doing a little bit of research and would like to share some of my findings.

By the way, we were completely done and had everything cleaned up by the time my husband came home. He said, "A Christmas Bomb went off while I was gone." But I know that deep down he really likes the colored lights. In fact, he slept in the living room last night with the tree on the entire time.

Christmas Answer #1: Why December 25th?
Before I try to answer that question, we have to learn a little about Winter Solstice. A solstice occurs twice a year, whenever Earth's axis tilts the most toward or away from the Sun, causing the Sun to be farthest north or south at noon. The winter solstice, which happens around December 22nd or 23rd, is when the days are the shortest of the entire year, and the nights are really long. At least that's true for the Northern hemisphere. We have to remember that in the Southern hemisphere, it's the opposite, and that Christmas time happens during their Summer!

A very long time ago, people became afraid that the nights would become longer and longer, and the sun would disappear altogether! They would especially be afraid at the time of the Winter Solstice. However, the wise people would notice that by December 25th, the days were getting longer again! Then it was time to celebrate the return of the sun.

Many cultures and religions have celebrations around the time of the Winter Solstice. For example, the Jewish holiday, Hanukkah, or the Muslim holiday of Ramadan.

But for the answer of Why December 25th for Christmas? Here's the short answer: No one really knows the day that Jesus was born, but they suspect that it was probably in the Fall. Early Christian church leaders selected December 25th because this was already the date recognized throughout the Roman Empire as the birthday of various Pagan gods. So, basically, it was already being celebrated for the birth of some gods, why not their god, Jesus? Eventually, when Christianity became more popular, they dropped the other gods and focused on Christianity's one god.

References:
Religious Tolerance.org from Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance: http://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_sel.htm
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solstice

Thursday Thirteen #71

2007-11-22T07:15:00.002-08:00

Today is Thanksgiving and I should be cooking my Mother's special creamy mashed potatoes, but I still have time. I already made the cranberry relish and cranberry chutney, so I'm just about set to go to my Sister-in-Law's home for a nice dinner. But first things first, I need to get my Thursday Thirteen for the week up!

13 Things I'm Thankful For

1. My daughter is fully potty trained. No more diapers for me! Except those that she wears at night--but that's just fine with me. The only problem is that she's so tiny, I can't get pants to fit her around the waist! Most pants in her size are made for toddlers who still wear diapers.

2. My son understands and appreciates the humor of Monty Python. Not bad for a 7-year-old! The other day we were talking and I said, "Well, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!" and he responded correctly, "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!" and he grabbed a pillow and started torchering me.

3. My daughter has stopped sucking her thumb. She did this all by herself. She got a sore on her thumb (probably from too much sucking!) and requested a bandage. We kept the bandage on for a few days, and after a few grumpy days and nights, she was done with the thumb!

4. My son lost his first tooth this week. Probably one of the teeth that bit me while I was nursing! I'm thankful that he's growing and becoming a young man.

5. I'm extremely thankful for my neighbor, Brad. He's single-handadly responsible for bringing us to Creekistan and helping fix the house. All of the beautiful work done on the house is his.

6. My piano. We finally got a piano about a year ago, and I've been playing it just about every day. I've started teaching my children how to read music and play. I'm even giving lessons to a friend's little girl. My Grandmother would have been proud.

7. Satellite radio. I enjoy having good reception and a choice of stations. The only regular radio stations I can get around here are religious or country. Now I can listen to whatever I want.

8. Satellite internet. Since I can't get cable or DSL service here, it was our only choice for high-speed Internet.

9. Netflix. We don't get any TV stations and don't want satellite TV, so Netflix is our lifesaver! The turnaround is pretty fast (send movie back, day 1; Netflix receives movie and sends another one, day 2; and receive new movie at home, day 3.) Except for those days we suspect that our mail carrier is watching our movies before delivering them to us!

10. My laptop. I would go insane if I didn't have a decent computer with good software to work from.

11. Being able to stay at home full time. Yes it's hard living on only one income when you're used to two, but it's not that bad. My kids appreciate it, my home is running better, and I'm less stressed.

12. The beauty of the forest that I live in. Each season shows something new and interesting. I was sad to see all the leaves fall from the trees, but now I can see more sky between the branches. And now I can walk deeper into the forest without getting lost in the underbrush.

13. My husband is officially done with his Doctorate. We completed his dissertation earlier this week, it got approved, and now we're waiting on confirmation that early next month, he will officially be Dr. Evil Composer.

Thursday Thirteen #70

2007-11-15T01:29:00.000-08:00

If it says "Forward this to (insert number here) friends and (insert positive action here) will happen," I almost immediately delete it, no matter what hex may befall me. I've been e-mailing for over 10 years and I've seen lots of hoaxes and bogus stories, and all kinds of e-mails. And I'm not afraid to tell the sender the truth.

Now I'm starting to see the old messages come around again. I guess, as far as e-mail is concerned, there's a sucker born every minute. Now that people who were initially reluctant to get e-mail or just didn't know how, are finally using e-mail. Those new users are gullible to the old hoaxes, just as I was over 10 years ago. I'm just amazed that these hoaxes cannot be killed off.

13 of My (not-so) Favorite E-Mail Hoaxes

1. Those that say "forward to 5 friends and see what happens!". Basically this doesn't work except to put yet another FW: e-mail address on a list and more of those annoying >>>>> all over the message so that it's hard to read the original text.

2. The Koran ( 9:11 ) says " . . . the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah." No such passage exists. It's purely a hoax to play on American patriotism.

3. Applebees will not give out $50 gift certificates to anyone who forwards a certain e-mail message to 5 friends.

4. Putting Vicks VapoRub on the bottom of your feet will cure night-time coughs. I just have to laugh!

5. Glade Plug-Ins will cause fires. I have received this warning message several times. After investigation, I found out that this is simply not true. It it was, they would have taken it off the market by now!

6. Kidnappers who snatch children in stores (or other public place), take them to a bathroom, cut their hair, and change their clothes. Frightening, and even plausible, but not true.

7. An Essay titled "The Paradox of our Time" was written by George Carlin. Simply not true! This is just another one of those laundry lists that cites everything that is wrong with today. Carlin didn't write such sentimental bull sh*t.

8. An atheist group is trying to get the FCC to ban religious radio stations. Simply untrue. The FCC has no authority to ban religious programming.

9. A form of the drug, Meth, called Strawberry Quik, is being handed out to children and it looks like candy. Okay, I'm sure it does look like candy. But drug dealers can't afford to give out bags of meth for Halloween.

10. Paul Harvey did not do a show on how Hillary Clinton helped two Black Panthers get away with murder, also untrue.

11. Any e-mail petition. They simply do not work and have no legality.

12. You do not have to register your cell phone on the Do Not Call registry.

13. Just in time for the holidays, the "Merry Christmas Virus" e-mail claims that a message with an attachment named "Merry Christmas" contains a virus that will "burn" the hard drive on the infected computer. No such virus exists, and if you have up-to-date virus protection software, (or a Mac, like me) you'll be okay. Just so you know, a virus cannot be passed around in a simple e-mail message. It can, however, be embedded in an attachment.

Just a quick word: Don't forward anything to all your friends and family if you are not sure of the validity of the message. Confirm it on www.snopes.com or just do a simple Internet search!

Thursday Thirteen #69

2007-11-08T08:39:00.000-08:00

13 Things that Happened This Week

1. The shingles are almost all on the house, with a few hard-to-reach spots still left bear. Hopefully that will be done soon!

2. I joined The FlyLady's mailing list - She help with reminders and suggestions for housecleaning and organizing, something I need. So far, I've cleaned my ceiling fans and kept my refrigerator clean, all in about 15 minutes a day.

3. My husband and a friend started their fall deer hunting. Right now they can hunt with a bow. So far, Humans 0, Bambi 1.

4. We cleaned out the storage bin that we've had since we moved to Creekistan. It contained all the stuff we didn't really need and furniture we didn't want in the way while we work. It's all sitting in the Bee House now. I may never need that stuff again.

5. I'm just about done transferring landscaping to my yard from a friend's yard. They recently purchased the house and don't want the bushes and plants that the previous owners planted for better curb appeal. I think they are crazy, but I'll take the free stuff!

6. It's getting cold, so now I have to get out the winter stuff and put away the summer stuff. Seems that my kids have outgrown the winter stuff from last year and now I need to find them warmer clothes.

7. I decided to start an eBay consignment business, tentatively named "Git-R-Gone". A lot of the folks around here have junk they want to sell but don't know how to use eBay. That's where I come in! My first client has some "collec table" burlap bags. We'll have to see how that goes!

8. While cleaning out the storage bin, I found out that I have too many kids books--if that is possible! I love having lots of books around, but I don't have enough shelves. I may have to purge some and donate them to the library.

9. I did manage to find my favorite children's chapter book, "Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles," and have been reading it to my kids. I recommend this book to everyone, adult or kid. It was given to me on my 9th birthday and has seen better days, but it can still be read and loved.

10. I'm putting the final touches on my husband's dissertation for his doctorate. Since he's a composer, it's a musical score, but not an ordinary score. It's very graphical and contains sections that call for particular beans to be placed in wood or metal bowls or balloons with rice inside to be swirled around. It's not easy trying to put that into picture/musical score form.

11. I also finished my Mother's Christmas letter. Since I do graphic design, I created the border and placed the text inside. I'm arguing with her about not using red text--I've always recommended staying away from red as it is hard on the eyes. She wants it to have a festive look. What do you think?

12. I, on the other hand, still have Halloween decorations to put away, let alone think about Christmas. But trips to the stores are a tempting reminder since they already have the trees up and decorated.

13. I managed to shoot an arrow into and help kill a large, grumpy possum that was irritating us. Something must have been wrong with it since it wouldn't move from it's spot in our yard. I didn't feel bad about killing it--I was probably doing it a favor as well as protecting my children. My family was impressed, especially my son, since I had to use his bow and arrow.

Thursday Thirteen #68

2007-11-01T00:36:00.000-07:00

13 Things That Really Scare Me

1. Bigfoot - My one true irrational fear. When driving at night in the woods, I'm always afraid of surprising one trying to cross the road.

2. The JFK Conspiracy -
When I was little, I saw a TV show about the assassination that featured the Zapruder film. For some reason, it scared me. To this day the idea that someone was killed, on camera, and that there seems to be a reality different than the "official story" makes me shiver. We may never know the satisfying truth.

3. Aliens from Outer Space - I once saw a planetarium show about close encounters of the third kind, not the movie, but the phenomenon. From that day I'm always wondering, late at night, if a grey alien is looking through the window at me.

4. Ouija boards - I'm amazed that these things are being sold as a "game". I think that nothing good can come from playing with the thing. I haven't had anything creepy happen to me the very few times I've trying playing with it, but I don't want to take any chances.

5. Photos of Ghosts - Especially those that show figures in mirrors. Although I think I could reproduce the effect with a properly place photo, this phenomenon happens too often to be ignored.

6. Art Bell's "Ghost-To-Ghost" - This is the version of Coast to Coast AM radio show when callers get to call in and tell their personal ghost stories. I happen to be listening to it right now, creeping myself out by sitting in the dark kitchen with my laptop. I hope that was the cat I just heard.

7. The movie Loose Change - This movie claims that the September 11 attacks were planned and conducted by elements within the United States government, and bases these claims on perceived anomalies in the historical record of the attacks. I'm not sure about these claims, but the way the evidence is presented is creepy. It makes you wonder! When I saw it, I couldn't sleep that night.

8. Unsolved Mysteries - A TV show hosted by Robert Stack. Just the music raises the hair on the back of my neck.

9. The music, Tubular Bells, from the movie The Exorcist. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check this out and then you'll know what I think just the music is scary!

10. Manfred Mann's Earth Band's song "Blinded by the Light" - When I was about 7, this song creeps me out, especially the eerie guitar part. It reminded me of some of the music used in a TV show about Bigfoot.

11. The Captain - The spirit that we believe that haunts our Creekistan home. I had a dream that at one time a riverboat captain had lived and died lived here. He even buried a treasure around here somewhere! He's not scary, but you can tell that he's around sometimes. A friend of mine asked me "Who's standing behind me?" and I had to answer "The Captain," since no one was behind her.

12. Serial Killers - Hopefully I don't need to explain this. I'm scared yet fascinated by these killers.

13. New Movie: House of a 1000 Muppets

Thursday Thirteen #67

2007-10-17T21:12:00.000-07:00

13 Pets That I've Had

1. Snoopy - Yep, a beagle. He was so fat that his belly hit the ground. Even though I was very young when he died, I remember him fondly as a tolerant dog who would let me dress him.

2. Daisy - She was a dachshund (aka wiener dog). She was brown and very nice. I don't remember too much about her since we only had her for about two or three years when I was little. When we moved from the farm to the suburbs, I guess she could not adjust. My parents had some explaining to do as to why Daisy was gone.

3. Denver - Another dachshund. We adopted Denver when he was an adult, but he was only with us for about a month. When Daisy went into heat, he gallantly defended her from other dogs, giving his life. His efforts paid off, because Daisy had a very cute litter of 5 pups that looked just like him, except for one that looked like her mother.

4. Tiny Tim - He was a pure bred toy poodle born on St. Patrick's Day. A great little dog, he was a good friend to me for several years. I remember that he would go to the park with me (we let him roam the neighborhood) and go down the slide with me. He liked to snuggle whenever my Mother took naps and would sleep with me at night. I remember that during his first Christmas, he not only chewed on the ornament, tree, and stockings, but he also tore through all the presents under the tree.

5. Tiny Tim Too - Another poodle that my older sister purchased after she moved out. But for some reason, she couldn't take care of him and my parents took him in. I remember that he was stupid. We didn't get attached and ended up giving him to a loving family with a large farm. From then on, he was in their family photos.

6. Melody - After having to move to a different city right before my senior year of high school, I managed to talk my parents into buying me a Shi Tzu puppy. She was a blast! I named her Melody because she reminded me of a piano keyboard--black and white. We would let her ride in the car with us just about everywhere we could--she learned that she could get treats from fast food windows. She understood many words and you could just about have a conversation with her. She would take my Father on walks and even though his Alzheimer's had him confused, she would lead him home.

7. Salvador - My first cat. When I had an apartment that would allow cats, I wanted one right away. I found Salvador (named after Salvador Dali, the artist) on the street as a tiny, skinny black cat. He was a terror as a kitten, but once he settled down, he was great. He grew to be quite large. I had him for many years.

8. Scarlet - Another black cat. Salvador's vet gave her to me and said that they were the same age and would get along great. Wrong. Seems that Scarlet was an adult ferile cat. Somehow we managed to domesticate her, but she never liked Salvador. I'll always remember her as the cat that liked to sit on top of the TV and drool.

9. Vincent - Another cat project that my husband took on. He was named Vincent because he had part of an ear missing, along with most of his nose. He also had broken his tail in several places, which fused together so that he couldn't move it normally. He must have been nearly blind and deaf, and was incontinent. Lovely! He couldn't walk backwards and would get stuck under furniture or in a corner.

10. Goofy - A Beta fish that I got my son for his second birthday. Five years later, he's still around! I swear he greets me whenever he sees me! Sometimes he would seem to be dead, but when I tap on the bowl, he wakes up.

11. Nearly Tailless Nick - He was a kitten that wandered into Creekistan when we were still living in the construction trailer. At first I had to lure him into a cage with food, but eventually we had him tame enough to come into the trailer when it was cold outside. He didn't have a tail, but he had plenty of attitude! He ran off after nearly a year, the day before he was scheduled to get fixed.

12. Bandit - Our current beast-in-residence. Bandit was rescued as a 1-week-old puppy after his mother was hit by a car. He was hand raised and we adopted him. He's the largest dog I've ever had, and quite the character. I think it's necessary to have a dog like Bandit out here in Creekistan, and he does a great job.

13. Gracie - Our current bed-heating cat. We didn't expect to get her, she chose us from the pet store. She was only a year old, but she already had a sweet temperament. She tolerates the kids and even secretly loves them, and is very friendly to everyone. But she's also a great mouser/squirreler/batter. Perfect for our family and for Creekistan.

Thursday Thirteen #66

2007-10-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

13 of my Favorite Modern Deities/Religions

1. J. R. "Bob" Dobbs - Church of the Subgenious. The Church of the SubGenius is known for a standing offer that stems from the ordainment fee of $30: "Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE Your Money Back!" The organization claims that if an ordained SubGenius minister dies and finds himself standing at the gates of "Normal" or "Boring" Hell, he will be personally greeted by Church founder J. R. "Bob" Dobbs Himself and receive a refund check for $90.00, along with a booklet titled, "How to Enjoy Hell for Five Cents an Eternity," which costs $89.95.

2. Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) - The religion was founded in 2005 by Oregon State University physics graduate Bobby Henderson to protest against the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution.

3. Invisible Pink Unicorn - Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them.

4. Jedi - 0.7% of citizens in the UK listed it as their religion. Yoda would be proud!

5. Russell's teapot - Bertrand Russell (1872–1970) stated that, for the sake of argument, between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit. Then, if, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.

6. Discordianism - is a modern, chaos-centered religion. Discordianism recognizes chaos, discord, and dissent as valid and desirable qualities.

7. Frisbeetarianism says that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and you can't get it down. A lesser known aspect is the holy event known as "The Ascension", wherein someone comes along with a ladder and collects all the souls.

8. The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism, is the Christian denomination attended by most residents of Springfield on "The Simpsons." Presbylutherans split from the Catholic Church during the "Schism of Lourdes" to defend their "god-given right to come to church with wet hair," a right the Presbylutheran church later abolished.

9. The Great Pumpkin - The Great Pumpkin appears to exist only in the imagination of Linus, friend of Snoopy and Charlie Brown. Every Halloween, Linus awaits the appearance of The Great Pumpkin, which never appears. Poor Linus, he believes so strongly that we want the Great Pumpkin to appear!

10. Scientology was created by author L. Ron Hubbard in 1952 as an outgrowth of his self-help system, Dianetics. I'm too afraid to go further because I don't want any Scientologist Suits to come to Creekistan and do a "Stress Test" on me. Unless that Scientologist is Tom Cruise.

11. Zeus - He's making a comeback! [Read this! ]

12. Elvis - Church of Jesus Christ Elvis. "For unto you is born this day in the city of Memphis a Presley, which is Elvis the King."

13. Festivus - What is religion without holidays? How about a holiday without a religion? Festivus was popularized in a 1997 "Seinfeld" episode. It's called "Festivus for the rest of us," and is the holiday celebrated by the Costanza clan on December 23rd. Mr. Costanza, played by Jerry Stiller, erects a plain aluminium pole and practices the airing of grievances.

Dodging A Small Bullet

2007-10-10T14:55:00.000-07:00

The doctor came into the room, introduced herself, and immediately said "Everything looks fine." I didn't realize how tense I was until that moment had passed. I had been secretly scared for about a month, ever since I started having pain in my right breast and found a small lump. It seems that it was a cyst brought on by hormones and I should expect them from time to time.

It was my very first mammogram, and I'm glad it's over and done with. Having my boobs squashed in the x-ray machine was not a fun experience. Neither is thinking that a part of your body is just sitting there, waiting to get cancer. But with statistics like 1 in 8 women getting breast cancer, the risk is too great to ignore. So instead of just wondering, I went ahead and got the mammogram. If it turned out to be cancer, we would have caught it early on. If it wasn't, well, then I'd have a great "baseline" image of my breasts.

With October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I was all too aware of the cause. The pink ribbons were a constant reminder that if I was to find out I had breast cancer, there is lots of information and help out there for me. Just about every magazine in the waiting room had articles on breast cancer and every catalog had pink ribbon items that you can buy with some of the profits going to support the cause. The waiting room itself was decorated like a giant pink ribbon monster came in and vomited all over the place. Pink, pink, pink, staring me in the face with it's cute, feminine color, when I knew it actually represented a deadly disease that kills thousands of women (and hundreds of men) each year.

But not me. Not right now. And from now on, I'm going to do those silly self breast exams in the shower and I'm going to keep the little pink ribbon pin they gave me at the clinic as a reminder. A reminder of my own scare, my new awareness, and of all the women out there that actually experienced the things that my brain imagined would happen to me and my family if my right boob was trying to kill me.

2007-10-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

Dead Deer Storage

"When you drove in here, did you notice a sign out in front that said, "Dead [deer] storage"?"
"Naw man, I didn't."
"You know why you didn't see that sign?"
"Why?"
"'Cause storin' dead [deer] ain't my [lovin'] business!"

Someone better tell that to my dog, because I'm not going to put up with it any longer. This morning, while trying to investigate an extremely foul smell wafting into our open windows, I found the mostly-decomposed head of a young male deer. And then I found our wonderful dog practically smiling at me while he chewed on a deer leg--complete with fur.

This isn't the first time it's happened. Last year at hunting season, he would bring home parts of deer that had been discarded by hunters after they field-dressed the deer. It wasn't unusual to see him chewing on a leg or a jaw bone. (The irony of seeing something chewing on a jaw was not lost on me.) In the Spring he found a fawn and quickly disposed of that (yuck!) And he's been known to kill and eat rabbits and moles. Small things are fine because they don't last very long. But a dead deer requires a few trips to bring out of the forest and eat. During hunting season, it's a lot colder and things don't rot as quickly. But it's still reaching 80 degrees and dead things don't keep very good at that temperature.

I lost the battle to my husband and it became my job to dispose of the "problem." So I donned rubber gloves, grabbed a trash bag, several small grocery bags, and Lysol, and, holding my breath, went outside. Luckily the offending item--the head--was still intact and wasn't difficult to get into the bag. And luckily the dog didn't try to take it away from me. So after a quick search of the driveway for other pieces, I was able to breathe again and throw the dead deer part away. I don't know if Lysol is meant to work outside, but I figured it couldn't hurt.

Any tips to help me train my dog that bringing dead things to the front porch is not permitted would be appreciated. Hunting season is coming up, and I don't want to get into the business of deed dear storage.

In Loving Memory: Mister C's Steakhouse

2007-10-07T07:19:00.000-07:00

Mr. C's Steakhouse

It was always special for me to go to Mr. C's Steakhouse. The food used to be fantastic. They served traditional Italian pasta dishes and, obviously, steak. I remember enjoying the bar-b-que ribs when I was a kid. But it wasn't just the food that made Mr. C's special. For one thing, he had colored lights all over the place--all shapes and sizes of Christmas lights and even lights shaped like grapes on vines--that gave the place an "It's always Christmas here!" feel. There were beautiful murals on the walls depecticing scenes from Italy. I could sit and stare at the murals and feel a part of the painting and could even imagine what the people were doing and thinking.

Sometimes wandering musicians added to the atmosphere--accordion and violin--that would play requests for each table. I would spend days trying to think of what song I would request next time I ate at Mr. C's. It usually ended up being "Turkey in the Straw."

And Mr. C himself would go table to table asking everyone how they were. I remember that one time, when we were there for lunch and it wasn't very busy, that Mr. C sat down with us for a while. He was always very friendly and gave special treatment to visitors from out of town. I think the last time I ate there, my son was less then a year old. I told Mr. C that even though I don't live in Omaha any more, I try to to to his steakhouse every time I visit.

Now, after over 50 years of being an icon of Omaha's great steak and Italian tradition, Mr. C's Steakhouse has closed. My mother called last night to give me the news, and it felt like someone had died. This great restaurant has become another victim of the "Olive Garden" chain restaurant plague that's overtaking the mom-and-pop restaurants in our hometowns. I don't understand the mentality to always eat at the same restaurant no matter what city you're in. Why can't people take a chance and try some local establishments? When I go on a trip, I almost always try to avoid the chains. But the pull of Cheesecake Factory is pretty strong.

They had an auction on Saturday where people would be able to purchase a piece of the restaurant--Christmas lights, statues, to even a stuffed parrot. I wish I could have been in town to purchase something. I'm going to keep an eye out on eBay, just in case.

Mr. C's and his family still have other restaurants in Omaha, and you can bet that I'll be eating at one next time I'm in town.

Thursday Thirteen #65

2007-09-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

13 Things My Mother Says About Creekistan

My mother is visiting Creekistan this week. She's not from around here. Here are some of her impressions dictated to me:

Up in "No Mans Land."
Where are all the birds? I expected to hear hear birds chirping when I woke up in the morning but it's too quiet.
The dog is a pain in the butt. Because he doesn't see any people, he bombards people. If you sit outside, he's trying to lick you.
We sat out one night and did hear some sounds and enjoyed the full moon.
Creekistan needs rain.
Every time I go to Creekistan my hair goes crazy!
One day, we took the bumpy "back roads" home that really had me saying 'there are no signs!' and when you do get to a stop sign, you better stop because you'll go over a cliff! I felt we really were in the backwoods. It was very interesting! But when we got attacked by three dogs and punctured a tire at the same time, it made for a very interesting trip. We were lucky to make it home in one piece.
The people are different then the people where I come from.
The scenery is beautiful. I bet the people that live here all the time probably don't appreciate it. I like all the trees.
It's interesting to see all the different types of homes. Some that are pretty nice, to some that are pretty bad. The bads ones look like they are hardly livable, they don't look livable from the outside.
The older people like to sit out on their porches or decks and watch the cars go by. They usually wave.
Creekistan is on a street very few cars go by, especially at night. I wonder if anyone comes by during the night.
I miss watching TV. I wonder what's happening on the outside world. I have to get the news off of the radio or the Internet.

Thursday Thirteen #64

2007-09-20T04:55:00.000-07:00

We live near a "Power Cut," a path in the forest that is kept clear for the power and phone lines to go through. It sometimes helps to walk in the power cut, especially when you're on a hill--you can get a better view of everything. In other words, you can see the forest despite the trees.

Some people in this area live all year long in a campground along a river. Some have campers with porches, some actually have small mobile homes. Makes it easy when there is a flood. Sometimes I'm jealous of their simple life and ability to just pick up and leave.

A neighbor took our unneeded trailer. I guess it was there as a camping trailer for hunting, but we never used it. The neighbor moved it down the street and put it on his property, where it sits next to abandoned cars and other junk. We call this yard the "debris field."

A snake fell into our cistern when we went to check the level. It makes me feel strange when I take a shower in the "snake water." Don't worry--I checked the other day, and I think (hope) the snake got out.

A friend was interested in a house on sale near us. We promised to check it out for them. If you thought our house was in the middle of nowhere, this house was even more secluded. If I lived there and had to give directions to find the place, the final two directions would be "just past the meth lab, take the first (and only) muddy driveway on the left. If you don't have a 4 x 4, just park and hike up the 1/4 mile to the house." I feel sorry for the realtor.

It's tobacco harvesting time. Many of the people around here live almost exclusively on what they get for their harvest during this time.

The houses down the hill are finally getting municipal water. They have no plans to bring the water service up to my property, though. We were joking about how this may help our property value.

We live in a "dry" county--no beer or alcohol sales in our area. However, since we live near the edge of the county, our street is the "beer run". There are two stores that sell beer about 5-6 miles away. If it wasn't the beer run, I don't think we'd see much traffic at all.

One of the places that sells beer nearby is a "drive thru" store. I went there once and had to wait for the chickens to get out of my way before I could pull up to the window.

When I lived in the city, I had a rule about not buying food from a store that was also a bait shop. I can't have that rule any more or I would starve.

I suspect that our mail carrier is reading one of our magazines. It's a weekly magazine, but we receive it several days late or not at all. We used to joke that they are also watching our Netflix movies.

Some long-distance bikers use our road for training. I have to keep a close eye on the dog on the weekends, or he'll chase the bikers. Actually, I think it helps them get up the hill to have a dog barking at their heels.

Spiders are a big problem around the house. They can spin a web very quickly and catch you it it. The other day, a large spider made a beautiful web across my closet entrance. I saw it just in time.

Thursday Thirteen #63

2007-09-06T02:11:00.000-07:00

Thirteen of my Final Requests

Not that I plan to die anytime soon, I just thought it would be fun to start planning now.

I don't want to have my dead body paraded around, so be sure to cremate me.
No big ceremony is necessity for the cremation, but I want my closest loved ones to draw straws to decide who should light the match.
I don't care what you do with my ashes. But I have always joked that at a party in my honor, someone should sprinkle a little in the punch without anyone else knowing. Then, have a toast (with the tainted punch) and say "May there always be a little bit of her in us."
Instead of a funeral, a large party should be organized, with invitations going out to my friends and family. Allow plenty of time between my death and the party for proper preparation.
Children should be welcome at the party. In fact, they should come in costume and given sugar skulls from the Mexican Day of the Dead holiday.
I would like some live music to be performed, probably something composed or arranged by my husband. At this time, I'd like his steal band version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and his piece "Three Found Dreaming," which includes the section called "Death." I'd also like to have Charles Ives' piece "The Unanswered Question" performed.
But for the rest of the music, I'd like someone (preferably under the age of 27) to play songs off of my iPod (or whatever music playing device I have at the time). The playlist should be heavy on music from the 1980's, Radiohead, and the current alternative rock songs at the time. No country music allowed.
There should be door prizes. You must be present (and alive) to win.
Poetry can be read, sparingly, and should include at least one poem from Billy Collins and one from Charles Bukowski. I'd prefer if the poems would make the younger people giggle and the older people cringe.
Everyone should wear a "Hello My Name Is . . . " sticker. I was so terrible with names.
Instead of flowers, I'd prefer balloons. Everyone should be able to take one home if they like.
Towards the end of the party, everyone should be given a kazoo for a group performance of Taps.
Since I was such a fan of bonfires, the party should end with one. Everyone should be invited to throw paper effigies of luxury items into the fire, similar to those burned during the Chinese Ching Ming festival. Be sure to burn a paper laptop so that I can continue blogging and submitting my Thursday Thirteen, even in the afterlife!

Thursday Thirteen #62

2007-08-30T06:34:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Things That Make My Kids Weird

While my son did spend his first five years in the city, he now prefers the forest and sees that the city is overrun by advertising, excessive consumption, and garbage. He breathes a sigh of relief when we return to Creekistan.
Both my children love expensive cheese, especially brie. Occasionally we'll splurge and buy a wedge or hunk of stinky French, Dutch, or Norwegian cheese, but we have to hide it. My daughter has been known to plunge her hand into a tub of Feta and eat a handful.
Both my kids love the music group They Might Be Giants . It might be because I listed to them while I was in labor. Their funny and singable songs helped take my mind off of the pain.
My daughter is a "princess," with long flowing blond hair, but she really loves superheros. She can correctly identify Batman, Robin, Superman, and Spider-man. Oh, and Austin Powers.
Both my kids have great Evil Laughs and we practice laughing maniacally on a regular basis.
If my daughter thinks things are getting out of hand, she'll yell, "Expelliarmus," really loud. (That's the Harry Potter spell for disarming.)
We recently heard a promo on our XM satellite radio for a funny morning show. It goes like this: [Operator] "City and state please?" [Funny guy] "Blakameekmen" [Operator] "Can you spell that?" [Funny guy] "T-H-A-T" We thought that was so funny that we all just blurt out "Blakameekmen" every so often. Even my 2 1/2 year old daughter. It makes me laugh every time.
We sit down to dinner just about every night. Nowadays, as sad as it might sound, it probably qualifies as weird.
My daughter loves capers. You know, those small pea-sized things you sometimes see on gourmet shows. Last night I put a few capers on top of the pasta I made. Before we could all sit down to eat, she had picked out and eaten most of them. (FYI: Capers are the immature buds plucked from a small bush native to the Middle East and Mediterranean regions of the world. Fresh caper blossoms are not especially flavorful, but their sharpness increases dramatically after sun-drying and brining in vinegar.) I had to call it "The Caper Caper."
Both my kids love sushi. No, sushi does not necessarily mean raw fish. They prefer the vegetarian variety. But my daughter is developing a taste for fish.
My kids understand that music can be any interesting sound, and will experiment to see what sound certain objects make. We've been known to play an entire percussion symphony with only what's on the dinner table.
My kids have hung around semi-famous artists and take it for granted. About four years ago, my son tested objects that were going to be featured in the children's section at the opening of the new Contemporary Arts Center in Cincinnati. We went to the artist's studio and tried them out. He now has a "been there, done that" attitude.
My daughter likes coffee. I have to keep it out of her reach. When I go to Starbucks (thank God there's a Starbucks near Creekistan now!) I have to get them to make a little extra and put it in a small sample cup for her. Don't worry, I don't do this often and it's usually in the morning. I tell her that she can't start drinking coffee until she turns 3. That's when I started drinking coffee.

Before and After

2007-08-29T05:08:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update on the progress we've made on the house. Here is dramatic proof that are efforts are finally making a difference.

Photo number one is the house as we purchased it--complete with upturned furniture, abandoned car, bugs, mold, and lawn mower being eaten by grass.

Photo number two was taken this month--complete with patio, cedar siding, toys, and a lot of TLC.

Thursday Thirteen #61

2007-08-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

13 Uses for Freezer Paper

Wrap meat to put in the freezer, especially if the deer was recently hit by a car and ended up dead on your driveway. Be sure to have the plastic-coated side of the paper on the inside, touching the meat. And don't forget to label the outside with a brief description of what's inside along with the date. I sometimes draw pictures of the dead animal with X's for eyes.
Wrap those delicious fresh-smoked pieces of bacon from that pig you slaughtered. They make great morning treats for those overnight guests. But don't forget to put it in the fridge the day before so it has time to thaw.
Kids love to use big pieces of freezer paper to color on. Just use the uncoated side!
The coated side is perfect to put down on the table when you and the kids are playing with Play-Dough.
In fact, the plastic coated side is perfect to put down under any project that is potentially messy.
Not only is it great to color on, but it's good for painting on.
You can use long pieces of freezer paper to make banners.
The plastic-coated side is perfect for finger or pudding painting. Pudding painting is great because the baby/toddler can actually eat the paint. But I don't recommend keeping the artwork for very long.
Freezer paper is great for covering school books. Then the kid can decorate them however they want.
You can use it as a table covering for entertaining. If you provide crayons, your guests can draw on the tablecloth.
This paper is great for wrapping presents. The kids can make their own wrapping paper!
It's also good for wrapping packages that are going to be mailed, like those things you sell on eBay.
You can put it down under raw meat when you're cutting it. This protects counters and keeps your cutting boards free of nasty microorganisms that can make you sick.

Sharing the Love for The Rock Chick

2007-08-10T06:46:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, a blogger friend of mine, The Rock Chick participated in Blogathon 2007 with the worthy cause being VH1 Save The Music Foundation . You know me, I love music programs in schools and have practically supplied all my nieces and nephews with whatever instrument they want (flutes, clarinets, trumpets).

So I'm spreading my love for The Rock Chick and helping her become an "A-List" blogger. Perhaps, when she becomes famous, she'll thank those "little people," like me, who helped her along the way!

http://lifeisrantastic.blogspot.com/

“Let’s rock The Rock Chick’s World! Send Life is RANTastic to the A-List.”

Thursday Thirteen #61

2007-08-09T07:55:00.000-07:00

13 Videos That My Kids Watch Over and Over

Popeye - The old old old black and white cartoons. They can't get enough for some reason. Luckily, they are cheep and available at Evil Wal*Mart.

Austin Powers - Okay, maybe not quite appropriate for kids their age, but they love him. Perhaps because it is rather immature humor. My daughter (2 1/2) loves the music and the costumes. She's been known to strike a pose and say "Give me back my Mojo!"

Batman - They love the campy Batman movies. I can hardly stand to listen to them with the bad one-liners and terribly villains.

Harry Potter - They love the movies, but know that the books are much, much better. Sometimes we discuss the differences between the movie and book. But we still enjoy the movies for their special effects.

Thomas and the Magic Railroad - When my son was younger, he loved Thomas the Tank Engine. We had all the Brio railroad stuff and some other extras like blankets, etc. But we watched the stupid movie that was loosely based on the TV series. I thought I "lost" the movie when me moved to Creekistan, but I recently found it. Now it's back in circulation.

Alf - You know, the 1980's sitcom about the alien living with a suburban family. We have the entire series on VHS that someone taped when the shows actually appeared on the network, complete with the old commercials. It's a walk down memory lane. I play a game with my son where he has to guess the premise of the show before the first commercial break.

The Nightmare Before Christmas - Actually, they love just about any Tim Burton movie. I don't mind, because I also love Danny Elfman, the guy who does most of the music.

The Tick - This is a Saturday morning cartoon series from the early '90s. So stupid it's funny, and yet so smart, it's stupid. Let's hear the battle cry, "Spoon!"

Dr. Doolittle - More precisely, Dr. Doolittle 2 with Eddie Murphy. We don't have #1 and I don't know if we've ever seen it. But we got the VHS cheep and they love it. We also have the original movie made ages ago and they like that one too, but it's terribly long.

The Incredibles - Even me and my husband love watching this video. Very clever premise and great animation. We especially love those scenes with Edna Mode. We're always repeating her: "No Capes!"

Star Wars - Any of them and even the cartoons The Clone Wars.

The Lord of the Rings - Yep, another series of movies that may be too old for them, but they seem to understand most of it anyway.

Star Blazers - An old Anime video dubbed into English in the late '70s and early '80s.

Thursday Thirteen #60 - SPOILER ALERT!

2007-08-02T02:26:00.000-07:00

SPOILER ALERT! My 13 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Predictions

Let's see how I did with my predictions from a couple of weeks ago:

The Weasly wedding will take place, but will be interrupted by an uninvited guest, possibly Greyback, the werewolf. Okay, I was close. It was interrupted by a Patronus, and then by Death Eaters.

Harry will find the place where his parents were killed. But I don't think he'll find anything important there. Wrong! Harry did find important things there, and even a trap!

I believe that Harry's father died after his mother, not the other way around. There is something important to the fact that James remained alive longer than Lily. Wrong. It was Lily that died last, trying to save the baby Harry.

The infamous RAB will be Sirus' brother. Ding! Ding Ding! I was correct! Regulus Arcturus Black .

One of the horcruxes will be hidden in the Black home, and Kreature will be guarding it. I don't think he'll be cooperative, and his head may end up on the wall next to his mother's. Wrong. Although Kreature did have a horcrux for a while, it was stolen from him. Also wrong about the house elf remaining mean. With proper care and sympathy, he turned out good! I'd love to try his French Onion Soup!

Even though both Harry and I don't like Snape, he'll be a good guy in the end. At least he'll prove to be mostly honorable, quite possibly he'll die trying to save Harry. Correct! Severus' love for Harry's mother Lily is what ultimately made him good. His memories in the Pensive is one of the places in the book that made me cry.

Neville will become stronger and more confident and will avenge his parents. Yeah Neville!

Harry and Ginny will get back together. Yep, and have three kids!

Dumbledore's painting will be hung in several important places in the wizarding world, and Harry can visit him and ask him questions. Mostly wrong. We only know of his painting in Hogwarts and Harry only visits him in the end.

I think that one of the Dursley's will perform magic, possibly Dudley. But I don't think he'll like it. Wrong. But Dudley does show his appreciation to Harry for saving his live. In a way, that is magic.

Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris, will be an unregistered animagas and a deatheater. But Crookshanks will kill her. Wrong. No mention of Mrs. Norris that I recall. Bummer!

Faulks will help Harry in a very important way. Wrong. Faulks must have flown the coop!

Everyone who reads the book will be very sad, either because someone important and loved dies, or just because there will be no more Harry Potter books to look forward to. I know the latter is true for me. Correct!

Shingles

2007-07-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

You might assume that because this is a blog about how we moved in the the forest and are trying to remodel a house while learning to deal with nature, that when I say "Shingles" I'm referring to the kind that attach to the outside of the house.

You're right.

And you're wrong.

Yes, I'll mention that we are in the long process of putting cedar shingles on the outside of our house. They look great and should protect us from the elements and provide some defence against critters. The process is taking a while because we had to remove the old vinyl siding, which seems to have been put over the even-older wood siding. Then we've had to displace some angry wasps and wood-daubers who called the side of our house "home." We're half-way there. What's been done looks great.

But I'm also talking about the disease called "Shingles." Shingles (otherwise known as Herpes Zoster) is a painful, blistering rash caused by the chickenpox (varicella) virus. That is why my eye has been swollen almost to the point of being swollen shut--I have a rash on my eyelid.

I guess it pays to be an informed consumer of medical services. Since last Saturday (right after getting my Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows book) I started to experience itching on my eye. My initial thought was Pink Eye. Then on Monday I spoke to a friend that suggested it was a Stye. I did whatever I could to get rid of the pain and itching. On Tuesday, my eye was nearly swollen shut, so I call an eye doctor.

The doctor checked my vision and my eye and concluded that I had a blocked duct, (which he unblocked) and allergies. He recommended over-the-counter eye drops and sent me on my way.

They did not work. On Thursday my eye was worse, so I called him again.

Once more, he examined my eye and, like many doctors, dismissed my concerns and just went ahead and prescribed an antibiotic.

I insisted he look again. "Didn't you see the leas on or scab on my eyelid almost hidden by the lashes? That wasn't there the other day!"

He looked again, reluctantly. But then he changed his mind. Shingles on my eyelid!

Shingles is the chickenpox virus affecting you a second time. But this time it affects a particular nerve, causing a localised area of pain and tenderness, and blisters on only one side of your body.

Okay, that explains a lot! Like how my hair was hurting (pain on my scalp) on my right side, how my right eye was painful, and a lot of other little symptoms.

So now I'm on the right track to getting though this bout of illness, but it may last a couple of weeks. Most likely, I'll get rid of these singles before the house gains all of its singles!

Thursday Thirteen #59

2007-07-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

13 Random Things

The Goodwill store in town has a sign outside that says "New Dickie Scrubs." Glad I'm not a guy--Ouch!

Some jerk must have dumped their unwanted puppies near our property, because on Friday, our dog cornered one. On Saturday, our neighbor found one on their porch, and a third got cornered by my dog on Sunday night. I took the first, a beautiful and friendly lab/rotreiller/husky mix with two piercing blue eyes, to our pathetic pound. Our neighbors, so far, are keeping the second. It's a beautiful girl similar to the first with one blue and one brown eye. The third was another beautiful girl with mismatched eyes but was almost entirely black. I took her on Monday to the pound. I wish we could have kept one.

I went to a Deathly Hallows party at Borders on Friday with my kids and a friend's family. We had to drive 3 hours to get there.

My son dressed as Harry Potter. My daughter (only 2 1/2) dressed like a nice young witch/princess.

I dyed my hair red for the occasion. It really was red--like red wine. It should go away in a week or so. I wore a great floor-length black duster. I was supposed to be a witch/auror, but a lot of people thought I was Tonks.

My friends' kids dressed as 1) Sirius Black's mother--complete with picture frame, dark curtains, and screaming "Filthy blood traiters"; 2) a blue Cornish Pixie--it takes a real man to dress in blue tights and wings; and 3) Draco Malfoy--with rubber snake and constantly dueling with my son, Harry.

My husband finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on Sunday night. I was out of town and couldn't give him the book until Saturday night.

I finished reading it Wednesday morning at 2:12 AM. Now we can discuss it, as long as the kids are out of the room. Don't want to spoil it for them!

I now have satellite broadband. We got the best installer on the planet, who found the only place that we could get a good view of the Southern sky. Now we're about to get youtube and update our software. I feel like we're finally in the 21st century.

Somehow my right eye has a blocked duct and has nearly swollen shut. So I did most my reading with one eye. I saw an eye doctor to get it fixed and took the book with me. Seems everyone is reading it and the only question they ask is "how far along are you?" No one wants to give anything away.

I only cried three times while reading it, but I can't tell you what touched me without spoiling anything.
My son saved enough money to buy a Nintendo Wii, and when we saw that Wal*Mart actually had one, we snatched it up. My husband actually likes it, especially the golf.

My husband has gone more than one week without smoking! Now if we could get him to give up yelling and being irritable, we'll be really happy!

Thursday Thirteen #58

2007-07-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

My 13 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Predictions

Hopefully by this time next week, we'll know if I'm right. But then again, I am a slow reader. My husband would know, but I've made him promise not to spoil anything for me.

The Weasly wedding will take place, but will be interrupted by an uninvited guest, possibly Greyback, the werewolf.

Harry will find the place where his parents were killed. But I don't think he'll find anything important there.

I believe that Harry's father died after his mother, not the other way around. There is something important to the fact that James remained alive longer than Lilly.

The infamous RAB will be Sirus' brother.

One of the horcruxes will be hidden in the Black home, and Kreature will be guarding it. I don't think he'll be cooperative, and his head may end up on the wall next to his mother's.

Even though both Harry and I don't like Snape, he'll be a good guy in the end. At least he'll prove to be mostly honorable, quite possibly he'll die trying to save Harry.

Neville will become stronger and more confident and will avenge his parents.

Harry and Ginny will get back together.

Dumbledore's painting will be hung in several important places in the wizarding world, and Harry can visit him and ask him questions.

I think that one of the Dursley's will perform magic, possibly Dudley. But I don't think he'll like it.

Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris, will be an unregistered animagas and a deatheater. But Crookshanks will kill her. Cat fight anyone?

Faulks will help Harry in a very important way.

Everyone who reads the book will be very sad, either because someone important and loved dies, or just because there will be no more Harry Potter books to look forward to. I know the latter is true for me.